I didn't see that reply. Thanks PTC... yeah i know i'm different. I think if someone made me work out really hard i would have a heart attack. I know what you mean about "fit fat". There's skinny fat, fit fat and weak fat hahaha.
The 2.5kg weights are heavy too but i can use them a bit. I was going to make myself use the 5kg ones but someone was around me and seen how i struggled and told me not to kill myself, and to start out smaller. There were 1kg ones but i went for the 2.5kg.
Lots of people give up. That's why i like this site, because every time i have tried to lose weight with other fat people they always give up, or we collectively give up as a group. There was one woman trying to lose weight to have a baby. I thought she would stick it out because i had listened to her talk about it so passionately, but she didn't stick it out even though she wanted a baby more than anything in the world. I was left with 2 people, both kept restarting. Losing and gaining, losing and gaining. I thought "fuk it" and stopped going to the website and gave up. I wanted someone who would keep up with me, so we were competing against each other to keep it interesting. Not that BS. I ended up feeling bad to lose weight because other people weren't.
I saw a doco saying that once people reach large weights like me, they have something like a 15% chance of losing the weight themselves without surgery. The % might have been even lower than that. I can't remember. I really believe that to be true.
So considering that i am not going to find anyone my size who will want to lose weight, stick to it, and challenge me. I am doing it by myself, drawing inspiration from looking at all the people on here who have changed their bodies or are in the progress of it. Although they are in a totally different ball game to me, it's still more motivating than being around other fat people who talk about losing weight and never do it.
I don't want to be one of those people anymore.
I'm not going to be out of the "danger zone" until i get past 90kgs. Because that is where i have given up the last two times that i went from 120-125kg to 90kgs. I don't know what it is about 90kgs. I think it's because it is 5 kilos away from the goal i set and i get scared.