C
celltech_hardcore
Guest
guy loaded 150 on the bar ready for squats.
1/4 ROM. son.. i am dissappoint.
1/4 ROM. son.. i am dissappoint.
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Funny stuff you have seen in the gym
- Thread starter poopoohead
- Start date
There used to be these two guys who would come to the gym when my mate and I were training back in the early 90's. Average slim-looking guys in their late 30's, nothing to really make them stand out except for their matching flouro sunnies and running shorts (the ones with the split up the sides).
They would begin by psyching each other up in the changerooms.
eg.
John: "Shit Bill, your going to lift a stack of weight today"
Bill: "Don't I know it John, I'm going to be HUGE by the end of the week"
John: "All these pretenders better watch out, the REAL men are in the gym"
They would then walk in, acknowledge the regulars and begin some lifting...this is where it would get weird.
John would put about 30kg on a curl bar and Bill would start doing his 3 sets of 10, first set would go fine (maybe a bit of grunting) but on the second set he would break down and John would have to comfort him.
Bill: "GRUNT! I can't do it...it's too much!!! Why did you load the bar"
John: "Come on Bill, I know you can do it Mate, I have faith in you"
Bill: *sheds a tear* "Thanks Bill, but it is just too heavy, my arms are like rubber"
John: "I'll help you get through it" *Begins spotting Bill, keeping the bar moving*
Bill: "Grunt! Yeah...I'm DOING IT!!"
This would repeat with John breaking down and Bill comforting him when they swapped. They would then do the same thing for each exercise they did.
It was seriously weird, a lot of people assumed they were "life partners" but they were both married with kids.
One time after they had finished doing some 40kg benchpress, a couple of the regular heavyweight lifters got on after them and started copying them.
Frank "Come on Jack, You can do it"
Jack (pissing himself laughing while pretending to cry) "No Frank I'm just not feeling your love"
Frank: "But Jack, I just showed you my love in the changerooms"
Had the whole gym in hysterics it was that funny...It still cracks me up thinking about it.
They would begin by psyching each other up in the changerooms.
eg.
John: "Shit Bill, your going to lift a stack of weight today"
Bill: "Don't I know it John, I'm going to be HUGE by the end of the week"
John: "All these pretenders better watch out, the REAL men are in the gym"
They would then walk in, acknowledge the regulars and begin some lifting...this is where it would get weird.
John would put about 30kg on a curl bar and Bill would start doing his 3 sets of 10, first set would go fine (maybe a bit of grunting) but on the second set he would break down and John would have to comfort him.
Bill: "GRUNT! I can't do it...it's too much!!! Why did you load the bar"
John: "Come on Bill, I know you can do it Mate, I have faith in you"
Bill: *sheds a tear* "Thanks Bill, but it is just too heavy, my arms are like rubber"
John: "I'll help you get through it" *Begins spotting Bill, keeping the bar moving*
Bill: "Grunt! Yeah...I'm DOING IT!!"
This would repeat with John breaking down and Bill comforting him when they swapped. They would then do the same thing for each exercise they did.
It was seriously weird, a lot of people assumed they were "life partners" but they were both married with kids.
One time after they had finished doing some 40kg benchpress, a couple of the regular heavyweight lifters got on after them and started copying them.
Frank "Come on Jack, You can do it"
Jack (pissing himself laughing while pretending to cry) "No Frank I'm just not feeling your love"
Frank: "But Jack, I just showed you my love in the changerooms"
Had the whole gym in hysterics it was that funny...It still cracks me up thinking about it.
i hate the guys who push me off equipment cause they are big and on roids and in a group of 3...
one of them one time came up while i was using the SM for incline chest press, he unloaded my weights, to which i was like "i am still using this, i got 2 sets to go" he was like "no you dont, we need it" i was like "well can i work in with you guys, and do my srts between yours?" and he replied like a stuck up a hole and said "no you wait till we finish" and he did make me do that, they would talk for ages between sets and when i went to use it he had a hissy fit... to which i told him to f*ck off and grow up just cause he is bigger than me gives him no right to treat me that way, and i went and finished on the incline bench with DBs... talk about a jerk! he now trains with this little skinny guy and they sit their spotting eachother with 150Kg loaded on the benchpress (yes...thats 3 x 50Kg a side) and the big guy is always doing all the work and yelling "it's all you! come on your doing it!" while he is turning red himself and breaking out into a sweat... and the skinny guy makes me laugh he like lifts the weights up to bench even at 50Kg and like drops them onto his chest and the big guy lifts em back up for him... i dont even know how the big guy is so big, he is a piss head, always out and he trains like a noob always!
one of them one time came up while i was using the SM for incline chest press, he unloaded my weights, to which i was like "i am still using this, i got 2 sets to go" he was like "no you dont, we need it" i was like "well can i work in with you guys, and do my srts between yours?" and he replied like a stuck up a hole and said "no you wait till we finish" and he did make me do that, they would talk for ages between sets and when i went to use it he had a hissy fit... to which i told him to f*ck off and grow up just cause he is bigger than me gives him no right to treat me that way, and i went and finished on the incline bench with DBs... talk about a jerk! he now trains with this little skinny guy and they sit their spotting eachother with 150Kg loaded on the benchpress (yes...thats 3 x 50Kg a side) and the big guy is always doing all the work and yelling "it's all you! come on your doing it!" while he is turning red himself and breaking out into a sweat... and the skinny guy makes me laugh he like lifts the weights up to bench even at 50Kg and like drops them onto his chest and the big guy lifts em back up for him... i dont even know how the big guy is so big, he is a piss head, always out and he trains like a noob always!
I've got a good one... 
This bloke was running next to me on the treadmill with his wank iPhone resting on the lip while he listened to music, he started to get a bit tired and he started thumping his feet down... The treadmill began to shake and I saw the iPhone move a bit, I thought to myself "That this is gonna fall, and he's gonna run over it" Sure enough... 10 secs later crash/crush/bam hahahaha he ran over it, bye bye iPhone.
Then, 2 weeks later exact same scenario, it fell, cept he didn't run over it... Does he learn?
Then... My GF called me last night saying "that bloke with the iPhone... He fell off the treadmill tonight, I couldn't control my laughter!"
I think he should stick to chess or something... He's not having much luck.
This bloke was running next to me on the treadmill with his wank iPhone resting on the lip while he listened to music, he started to get a bit tired and he started thumping his feet down... The treadmill began to shake and I saw the iPhone move a bit, I thought to myself "That this is gonna fall, and he's gonna run over it" Sure enough... 10 secs later crash/crush/bam hahahaha he ran over it, bye bye iPhone.
Then, 2 weeks later exact same scenario, it fell, cept he didn't run over it... Does he learn?
Then... My GF called me last night saying "that bloke with the iPhone... He fell off the treadmill tonight, I couldn't control my laughter!"
I think he should stick to chess or something... He's not having much luck.
I've got a good one...
This bloke was running next to me on the treadmill with his wank iPhone resting on the lip while he listened to music, he started to get a bit tired and he started thumping his feet down... The treadmill began to shake and I saw the iPhone move a bit, I thought to myself "That this is gonna fall, and he's gonna run over it" Sure enough... 10 secs later crash/crush/bam hahahaha he ran over it, bye bye iPhone.
Then, 2 weeks later exact same scenario, it fell, cept he didn't run over it... Does he learn?
Then... My GF called me last night saying "that bloke with the iPhone... He fell off the treadmill tonight, I couldn't control my laughter!"
I think he should stick to chess or something... He's not having much luck.
ahahahahahaaaa! watta toss!
Z
Zarkov
Guest
I can`t believe some prick would even have the gall to pull that crap.
10pts and a koala stamp for standing up to him.
thanks man. he did. he was a prick. i told on him to the owner too lol.
Z
Zarkov
Guest
I usually don`t like dobbing people in - even arseholes but fvck it,you paid your dough and have a right to use the stuff.
i nearly did but this guy was huge so i probably would have come off second best... lol
Kyle Aaron
Active member
The blokes who think they're super-dooper-awesome are pretty common, flinging their whole body around like a clown to handle some weight too much for them. But they don't worry me, all the gym staff are first aid qualified so when the King Shit pops a tendon and falls screaming to the floor I won't have to clean it up.
The ones who annoy me are the ones who reckon the gym equipment is seating at a coffee shop, sit there yacking on their mobiles. I mean, I understand, people seem to psychically know when I'm at the gym and call me then and there, but I step out of the gym to talk, and cut it off asap. I don't sit on my flabby arse in everyone else's way.
The other crazy thing is that my gym reminds me of a high school dance - all the girls are on one side (the machines) and all the boys are on the other side (the free weights).
Some of the girls I do wonder why they bother - they put the machine on the least weight possible, or grab a 1kg dumbbell, and their arms and legs are flailing about like they're an astronaut. May as well stay home! I know a lot of girls don't want to bulk up, but it's not like as soon as you have to sweat to lift the weight you'll turn into Bev Francis.
The ones who annoy me are the ones who reckon the gym equipment is seating at a coffee shop, sit there yacking on their mobiles. I mean, I understand, people seem to psychically know when I'm at the gym and call me then and there, but I step out of the gym to talk, and cut it off asap. I don't sit on my flabby arse in everyone else's way.
The other crazy thing is that my gym reminds me of a high school dance - all the girls are on one side (the machines) and all the boys are on the other side (the free weights).
Some of the girls I do wonder why they bother - they put the machine on the least weight possible, or grab a 1kg dumbbell, and their arms and legs are flailing about like they're an astronaut. May as well stay home! I know a lot of girls don't want to bulk up, but it's not like as soon as you have to sweat to lift the weight you'll turn into Bev Francis.
Z
Zarkov
Guest
Kyle Aaron
Active member
Not quite. 38 in a month! She was the first female bodybuilder I heard of, though, even before I had lifted anything heavier than a bottle of Coke 
Now, funny shit in the gym today, I said to myself, "hey I feel strong today, another couple of reps on the bench!" and then realised... no. A big guy came and saved me, but nothing could save me from embarrassment! It was only my warmup set!
Training is much easier if you have a training partner. So long as he isn't the chatty type.
Now, funny shit in the gym today, I said to myself, "hey I feel strong today, another couple of reps on the bench!" and then realised... no. A big guy came and saved me, but nothing could save me from embarrassment! It was only my warmup set!
Training is much easier if you have a training partner. So long as he isn't the chatty type.
Z
Zarkov
Guest
About my age, I was close.I remember the whole Bev Francis nude photo thing
.I was just a kid,it gave me nightmares!
I shouldn`t laugh at noobs in the gym, especially if they are making a real effort but when you see them come in all decked out in Golds Gym,Weider, etc gear with all the strappings,supporters and belts it is pretty fun if it is way over the top.
Was a guy there today who fit that with long white socks to cap it all off.
.I was just a kid,it gave me nightmares!I shouldn`t laugh at noobs in the gym, especially if they are making a real effort but when you see them come in all decked out in Golds Gym,Weider, etc gear with all the strappings,supporters and belts it is pretty fun if it is way over the top.
Was a guy there today who fit that with long white socks to cap it all off.
i had to laugh this morning... we had a gay middle age man in our gym... and he was getting some trianing... and i think he fancied the trainer... anyway... he was benching his 5Kg and making a big deal all like "this is so heavy its making me so hot!" and crap like that... talking fruity as... and then on the leg curls he would lie on it and then turn back at the trainer smirking and be like "is this position ok?"... to me there was no point him being there... i think he was there to get his joys, and go home and pull himself... i hate people that waste time like that... he was doing the weights that the women at the gym do... i mean come on benching 2.5Kg a side?? is this dude like missing a chromosome or something?
trofius
Member
There is a certain young lass that goes to th egym here, she is in very tidy condition, maybe mid 20's She has a few tats one her back, not big ass things but rather a heap of cutsy things astro boy stars etc. she lifts weights (shock horror) and generally tries to do a decent comitted workout..never seen her do any cardio
Anyways she comes across, well not like a little princess.
While doing some lat pulldowns I couldnt help but overhear some other women (not that old either) making comments about her and how she wont look so good once she has kids, kids ruin your body blah blah, etc,
I think the buff chicky may have heard them aswell..Because when she left she walked past them ....with her two kids she just picked up from the child minding.
The exchange of looks were priceless, the comments after she was gone were quite colourful as well..
Anyways she comes across, well not like a little princess.
While doing some lat pulldowns I couldnt help but overhear some other women (not that old either) making comments about her and how she wont look so good once she has kids, kids ruin your body blah blah, etc,
I think the buff chicky may have heard them aswell..Because when she left she walked past them ....with her two kids she just picked up from the child minding.
The exchange of looks were priceless, the comments after she was gone were quite colourful as well..
He wishes lol.
I've got a fruity bloke who follows me around the gym... It's painful, not that I have a problem with queers, not at all, He specifically just does my head in.
kindred
New member
I know a guy who can hardly bench 20kg because he abused his body all his life with drugs etc. Maybe this person was the same. Arnt olympic bars 20kg?
I think the worst thing you can do to your body is smoke cigarettes, closely followed by food and alcohol abuse.
This is not gym related, but about idiots so it is kind of on topic. Smoking cigarettes increases the risk of blood clotting, which blocks the flow of blood in a vein or artery (can cause heart attack, stroke, gangrene etc). Anyway, we had this guy come in to hospital who had a clot in his leg so there was no circulation to his foot, they tried to unblock the artery but were able to get the flow going again properly so they put him on a heparin drip (imagine a pole with a bag and a drip into his vein, his blood will no longer clot, it is serious shit). The Dude is looking at eventually losing his leg if it doesn't get fixed soon.
On my lunch break, on my way back into the hospital I see him out the front smoking a cigarette holding onto the pole with the heparin drip still going. I believe that treatment to this kind of person should be refused. You and I are paying serious money, through taxes, for this ****er. And he wasn't alone, there were a string of people, some in wheelchairs smoking cigarettes.
Sorry, not as funny as the other stories!