stuff my wife/husband/partner/gf/bf does that annoys me" Thread

[RyanF]

The main thing my wife does to annoy me is not existing. #foreverascone

 

[nazzysmith]

The main thing my wife does to annoy me is not existing. #foreverascone

Bro!!!!

Bitches be mirin your squat!!!

 

[WarbyD]

Forever a scone? Different...

Sent from my C6903 using Tapatalk

 

[kaz]

My husband is a road rager. A real bad one. Everyone on the road is a fuckwit.
Today he neaely got into a punch up with a woman who was filming the whole time on her iPhone.
She sat right up his arse so I stuck my finger at her. She swerved her car at us then started filming my husband jamming the brakes on her.
He cornered her behind a truck and got out of the car. She kept yelling "Im filmi g this and my husband is a cop"
My husband lets nothing go on the roads.

 

[lkt004]

Sounds like a real stable dude.

 

[kaz]

Shits me!!

 

[Stiffy]

My husband is a road rager. A real bad one. Everyone on the road is a fuckwit.
Today he neaely got into a punch up with a woman who was filming the whole time on her iPhone.
She sat right up his arse so I stuck my finger at her. She swerved her car at us then started filming my husband jamming the brakes on her.
He cornered her behind a truck and got out of the car. She kept yelling "Im filmi g this and my husband is a cop"
My husband lets nothing go on the roads.

too much masturbation!

 

[Grunta]

My husband is a road rager. A real bad one. Everyone on the road is a fuckwit.
Today he neaely got into a punch up with a woman who was filming the whole time on her iPhone.
She sat right up his arse so I stuck my finger at her. She swerved her car at us then started filming my husband jamming the brakes on her.
He cornered her behind a truck and got out of the car. She kept yelling "Im filmi g this and my husband is a cop"
My husband lets nothing go on the roads.

Heard on the news today, a guy copped 15 staples to patch his skull together after a little run in with a fellow driver on the ring road last night.
Wasn't hubby making friends in Melbourne by any chance Kaz?

 

[Big Mick]

too much masturbation!

Or not enough, he seems very tense

 

[Stiffy]

Or not enough, he seems very tense

true. Sleep with one eye open tonight Kaz. Tonight could be the night!

 

[Darkoz]

A good woman always sleeps with her mouth open

 

[kaz]

Heard on the news today, a guy copped 15 staples to patch his skull together after a little run in with a fellow driver on the ring road last night.
Wasn't hubby making friends in Melbourne by any chance Kaz?

Lol not him thankfully! I tell him someones going to pull a weapon one day!

true. Sleep with one eye open tonight Kaz. Tonight could be the night!

Clutching my pillow tight....

too much masturbation!

Noooooooooo!

 

[kaz]

Constantly whinges about body aches and pains!

 

[Grunta]

Rings me 6 times a day and every time she says "hi hon it me"
i fuken know it's you, the phone has caller ID

 

[Bazza20]

Wants sex all the time. Brings me the wrong beer when I'm watching TV. Cooked me chicken when I wanted steak.

What the fuck have I gotta do.

 

[Grunta]

Wants sex all the time. Brings me the wrong beer when I'm watching TV. Cooked me chicken when I wanted steak.

What the fuck have I gotta do.

Make her watch Once Were Warriors.
Then tell her to cook some fucking eggs!!!!

 

[Mackie]

Necrobump kunce!!

So, I get home from the shops, cook dinner, dish myself up a big bowl and sit down and start inhaling it. The mrs comes and sits at the far side of the table with her nose so far out of joint it could send her face a postcard.

What's wrong with you?

Typical answer "nothing" then buries her face in the laptop.

Whatever kunce dinners good I'm eating it.

Turns out she thinks our au pair has her eye on some in house Australian meat.

I think she's making it all up, she thinks I'm oblivious. Didn't see that one coming at all. Fuck me..

I politely told her she's dreaming. Ala Michael Caton style.

 

[Sandin Face]

... Turns out she thinks our au pair has her eye on some in house Australian meat ...

Put up a picture of her. Someone here might be able to draw fire ...

 

[Jungnaut]

Arms flailing about and slapping me in her sleep, claims 2/3 of the bed by arranging the body like a starfish in summer, coccons the blanket around the body like a straitjacket in winter so I get just the corner bit to keep my genitalia warm.

 

[Johnnie Walker]

Never had or will have an FB account. I don't feel like I need to share every move I make and couldn't give a fuck what others are doing.

What pisses me off is when the missus uses my car.

1. Never fills it, always runs the fuel down, I have a company fuel card FFS, is not that hard.
2. Takes all the gold coins out that I need for parking when in the city.
3. Never uses her key, so stuffs my seat settings.
4. Opens the door with the keys in her hand, scratches the shit out of the door below the angle.
5. Rubs wheels along gutter hen paring.
6. Rips front spoiler off when paring over gutters.
7. Feeds he kids in the car.
8. Leaves shit every where, wrappers, chewies, coffee cups, parking dockets, food containers.
9. Leaves hair bands on the gear lever.
10. Lipstick marks on roof lining when she closes the visor or mirror with the lipstick in her hand.
11. Wears studded jacket around her waist, tore he leather.
12. Slams the fk out of the boot and door. Why?
13. I don't even think my car has an ignition, the moment the door slams (way too hard) shut, it's doing 7k rpm own the road.

And to sum it up, none of it is her fault, it's cos the car is too big and too low.


I'm gonna pop a fkng vessel one day.......

get something that is more woman friendly and also a weapon. SQ5 is a pretty good his and hers car..or some of the more powerfull porsche cayenes..

when it has everything to suit her and it has 650nm of torque..win win