Thank you Darkoz. Your mention of the word "despair" has raised my eyebrows a touch! That's a huge word with some very deep and powerful meanings behind it, wouldn't you agree brother? Arriving here (in Australia) at the young age of 12, leaving a hugely chaotic world behind, and now nearly 50, the word despair has never made it onto my radar. Not because I'm from Mars, but because I see the opportunities that are available to each and every one of us here in Oz, and wonder: how and why could one ever get so low as to reach that final stage we call desperation? I know, it's a different subject, but I feel it's all inter-connected somehow. It's very fascinating I find, the human mind and the way it operates.
Thank you so much for accommodating my curiosity brother, I sincerely appreciate the mature conversations I have with you.
Now I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the stuff that's around today is more dangerous than years ago, you've got any Joe Blow cooking shit up in his kitchen and selling it off as whatever he wants it to be.
Now I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the stuff that's around today is more dangerous than years ago, you've got any Joe Blow cooking shit up in his kitchen and selling it off as whatever he wants it to be.
I prefer to smoke weed, like alcohol it is easily manageable and it is very harmless the way I consume it. Once every other week chills me out a lot- people need to escape and feel inebriated often and cannabis does that for me and not alcohol
I think you should pick one and stick with it though. Don't drink and smoke lol, that is retarded. Even a long term opiate addiction is not that bad really, provided you're sensible and can manage it
I subscribe to the theory that addiction is more about the person than the substance.
Many people get prescribed serious shit when they're in hospital but then go back to their lives and don't become addicts.
There is some testing with rats - you give them cocaine-water and normal water to choose from and nothing else in the cage and they become addicted and drink themselves to death.
But you give them the same choice AND a jungle gym to occupy themselves with and they will stick to the normal water.
Of course chemical or biological addiction/dependence is real - but I think it's a bit of an oversimplification
Drinking alcohol in this country is accepted and is viewed as being normal and part and parcel of the culture of this country, this I can understand. But why the need (or want) to delve into other type of drugs? My question is asked in a non-judgmental manner, and a reply would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance.
I'm kind of digging it but then again I'm kinda digging anything that casts a shadow at the momentIf a chick really looked like that in real life it would freak me out big time.
I'm kind of digging it but then again I'm kinda digging anything that casts a shadow at the moment
I'm not so sure that drugs are accepted as part and parcel or the Oz culture sir. Sure, within certain circles, it would be the accepted norm to delve into whatever drug of choice a particular group would see fit. This brings me back to the subject of steroid usage. Sure, if all the people a bodybuilder associated himself with were some big hardcore bodybuilders, he may think that it's quite the norm to do steroids (which would be 100% true within that circle of associates), but not Oz as a whole. That was the thrust of my original point sir. I thank you for your reply though.So are drugs, depending on the circles you hang around in.
I did pills, MDMA and some psychadelics because people told me they were fun, same as why I started drinking. They were all tops, except the trippy shit.
Did your mind get to that stage because of the drugs, or were you driven to take drugs because of the state of your mind?Decided why bother with life, in death there is literally nothing, no effort needed at all
Why would a young man of 19 wish to end his life? Did you (and do you still) feel life has no purpose for you Oni? Do you have the YOLO attitude to life?Decided if I couldn't kill myself I'd just do epic shit and whatever the fuck I wanted instead
Well that's a positive in that it has given you a purpose, a goal to strive for perhaps.Start lifting weights, fucking killing it every day
That tells me that in your subconscious mind, you knew all along that drugs were not the answer to whatever problems your young mind was facing.Don't touch drugs again for 3 years
Where (were) are your parents and people who love you in all of this growing up period?Still lift weights because it's all I really enjoy and the only reason I haven't just fucking killed myself
Glad to see you're still here with us young man. Life is precious. I'm sure you've got a hell of a lot to give to others.And here I am today
I stay away from any mind altering substances Oni, for whatever intoxicates in large quantity, is forbidden in small quantity. That is what I believe in and practice Oni. However I do not shove my belief down people's throat, neither do I judge the choices people make for themselves. Live and let live is what I live by, and do your best not to hurt or harm others in any way if at all possible. I thank you for your inputs throughout this thread Champion. Look after yourself.@Fadi ; drugs are really, really very good
The feeling of meth is incredible
Thanks man
Started when I was 17 smoking weed, then started taking pills
Couldn't get to sleep from taking pills at the weekend, started taking codeine pills to get to sleep
Couldn't take as much codeine as I needed because of the paracetamol, being a science man I knew that paracetamol was not water soluble and codeine was so I'd crush the entire box of pills and put it in cold water, then filter through coffee filters and drink
Wasn't hurting me and I like how it felt, started just doing that
Pharmacies stopped selling me codeine
Started buying vicodin instead, was just the same as codeine anyway. All opiates are harmless
Vicodin started getting expensive and I didn't work full time. Started buying dried poppies online instead
A months worth cost me $50 basically, I'd crush them and make infusion tea
Age 19 by this point, chem background allowed me to figure out how to block enzymes to potentiate a dose for 18h
Got up in the morning, made tea, went to work, arrived home still high, made tea and went to sleep, woke up high and made tea.
2 years passed completely high, never sobered up the entire time
Feeling of being high became normality, started taking benzos to get high
Benzos are anti anxiety drugs so it made me simply not give a fuck any more
Decided why bother with life, in death there is literally nothing, no effort needed at all
Massively overdosed on benzos (phenazepam)
Funny thing is I had a gram (1000mg - dose is 0.5mg). Instead of swallowing the gram I just had "enough"
Woke up in hospital a week later
Decided if I couldn't kill myself I'd just do epic shit and whatever the fuck I wanted instead
Benzos still very much having an effect even 2 weeks later
Check out of hospital still high on benzo overdose, decide to become superhuman
Start lifting weights, fucking killing it every day
Don't touch drugs again for 3 years
Move to other side of the world, just fucking because
2 years in Australia, psychosis from massive drug use begins to wear off
Realise I can smoke or drink occasionally and it doesn't matter
Still lift weights because it's all I really enjoy and the only reason I haven't just fucking killed myself
And here I am today
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