wingman
Super M0derator
ive realized being huge is where its at..
Were you still in BB mode in that thread? That wasnt very long ago i thought.
ive realized being huge is where its at..
I'm confused about #1 Ben. Learnt to squat many moons ago.
I squat 215. My competition squats 250+. Therefore I can't squat.
But you beat them on bench / dead by similar margin right?
Short term goal, to fit into that corset Viv just posted! Yeah boi! lol Gimme 2 months of solid hard yakka...then we shall see
I wanna learn how to skip.. Yep, I'm THAT uncoordinated.
I want to be able to physically feel comfortable in the world.
I spent a day with my extended family yesterday and my 75yo Uncle put his arms around me and shook his head in amazement "You've disappeared Jo" he murmered.
I haven't seen them for a little over a month now...and I just fobbed him off...so he trailed out the photo albums to prove it....OMG
There were photo's of me from a year ago....that I was barely able to even look at!
Even one's from a few months ago...
And of course all the older beautiful pictures of me at ballet recitals and swim meets and carnivals and my high school formal (God bless 1992) lol
But I did wonder, briefly...if I would ever feel comfortable in the world again? Intellectually, I know I've lost another human being and I am proud of my focus on my health and wellbeing. I'm not addicted to the scale and I'm not OCD about my calories....
But psychologically...all I see in my minds eye, is the very very fat girl I became...once upon a time.
I guess I have used that image and version of myself, to spurr myself on for so long....letting go of her, will be a process
But I look forward to the day, I can.
with time, BB ... your weight and appearance don't define you as a person. But you know that.
I'm still the little fat kid inside...part of who were stays with us and is part of why we are who we are today.
So it's all good
J, I would say you need to make her a very distant memory for now.....and maybe for a while longer.
I think you need to surround yourself with plenty of positive reinforcements of the lady you are today.....keep pics on your iPhone, desktop, wherever else....to appreciate how good you're looking ATM. Bury the old photos away somewhere.
It's hard for me to genuinely understand the situation you speak of, but you've done incredibly well, you're an inspiration I believe, and you should be filled with positive thoughts about where you are now and where you're going. You should never need to look or think back to old Bella....and in the off chance that you do, you should do so triumphantly....it's all good for you J, let the negativity go.
Agree totally with G ... Don't focus on where you've come from now. To be honest, I can't even look at photos of me when I was at my lowest weight and dreadfully skinny. Different direction but having been on both sides of normal weight I can say that it's all just negativity, no better or worse.
Definitely reinforce the positives. You're getting plenty of good feedback so revel in how far you've come and how great you look and hopefully feel.