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Overcoming Eating Disorders

B

boxing23

New member
Hey,

Some of you may know I have been struggling to put any decent muscle mass on. I train hard heavy compound exercises and eat around 3200 cals a day. I am by no means going to call myself a hard gainer or ectomorph though.

I was 96kg and 6ft tall when I was 16. I got addicted to exercise and seeing the scales go down and was eating like a bird. Last mothers day I was at 60kg, I was quite sick and had been in hospital multiple times. I begun weights training but still couldnt get my head around putting size on and over 2 months dropped to 56kg. At this time my body was covered with laguno (a white hair that groes when you arent properly nourished) and my breath smelt like amonia. I was in atrophy. My testosterone levels dropped down very low. (I am almost 19 and still dont shave)

Since then I have come back up to 62 - 63kg multiple times. But I seem to get to this point and I start doing more. I still cant get my head in the right place. The eating isnt the problem the feeling of guilt and that i have to work it off is.

I have been cutting back on cardio and just walking instead of running. It is a step in the right direction but I have found myself walking more to compensate for not running.

I would like to know if anybody else on the forum has been through eating disorders and if they have any advice or even if they where in the north brisbane area I would love to buy you a coffee and have a chat or maybe catch up for training session someday.

I have been in denial the last couple of months that I still struggle with my eating disorder but have had a good kick up the arse today by some good friends and family.

I appreciate any feedback anybody has and thank anybody who has taken the time to read this.

Yours in Size and Strength
Sean
 
Mate you gotta eat I wanted to post that when I was reading your training log but didn't wanna be rude. If you have size it doesn't matter if your carrying some extra fat you look powerful and have confidence that is what the opposite sex finds attractive. Eat the house down lose the cardio.
 
Brick said:
Eat the house down lose the cardio.
Click to expand...

its not that easy when you have a disorder. sometimes i wonder if i have a disorder as i diet during the week then binge badly on the weekend feel guilty then start over on monday then theres the forever question do i bulk or do i cut? good luck anyway boxing23 hope you find some people on the forum who can help
 
Hey Brick. Thanks for your feedback.
I have no problem eating and actually enjoy my food. Like I said earlier I do eat 3200 cals a day but then burn all those cals off through exercise instead of resting and growing like I should. I have tried eating more but I find I just do even more exercise. Anybody got some rope and a pole to tie me to! This is where its hard I know in one side of my brain what I got today to reach my goals and want to do it. But then the otherside is still in weight loss mode.
 
Boxing, believe me when I say this but sounds like you've made awesome progress already just to be in the frame of mind you're currently in.

I don't have any specific advice for you since I haven't been in that position, but it may be worthwhile seeking out the services of someone who can guide through when and what to eat (eg Max Brenner on these forums). If you stick to their instructions I'm sure you'll get closer to your goals.

"Be the change you want to be"
 
I wouldn't call it an eating disorder but after over 1 year of counting every single calorie in then calorie out whilst dieting, I just couldn't put the brakes on! Up until February this year, I knew every single food items calories and carbs. And it really wasn't until I started powerlifting training and the $1 cheeseburger offer came out, that I realised in order to grow stronger, food is fuel. It was a hard cause to eat take away foods but it seriously has taken 3months to gain 1kg with all the shit I eat now!
If I didn't eat, I'd feel crap and run down, and that rrun down feeling of not being able to get out of bed in the morning ffinally snapped when i related food to feeling well. I've discovered you either want to be thin or strong, and if you want to be strong you have to fuel it. Throw the scales away because they mean shit, when you go to the supermarket, forget palm-size steak - buy Man size steak!
You're a man, eat like a man, and you will grow strong!

Make some mantras up in your head - "this will make me grow strong" when you eat high calorie foods, sounds ghey but its working for me!
 
Mate I am not that ignorant that I don't realise there is some deeper problems there but the bigger a deal you make of them the harder they are to conquer. You don't wanna be a lard star.that's not healthy either but what I am saying is if you want a powerful physique you have to eat. Why not stop counting calls completely and just eat, make a conscious effort to plows down bulk food and lift heavy see where you end up in a couple of months or better still a year. Think of it this way if your not happy just lose the weight again you clearly have the knowledge and power to do that.
 
Being overweight isn't permanant, you can always diet when you reach your desired muscle mass.
 
I had anorexia for years and eventually got 100% better.
If you want to chat, PM me. I'm in Melbourne though but happy to chat remotely if you like.

I can totally understand what you are going through.

I'm also currently trying to gain LBM and struggling, although the irony for me is that I'm a natural "hardgainer" for want of a better term.

You really do need to let go of using exercise to cancel out your food intake. You will not get fat, I promise you.

You are still very young. I did not have the benefit of any help via therapy etc but I wish I did when I was 19, it might have helped me get better sooner. I'd recommend seeing your doctor about it.

The fact that you recognise the issue, and you say that you have been in denial for a while, means that you have a very good chance to get over it.
particularly as you sound anxious to do so.

:)
 
I think most of us here have some degree of obsessive compulsive disorder.
My problem had been Doing as much exercise as I could stand rather than trying to find the minimum amount required.
 
deep said:
Being overweight isn't permanant, you can always diet when you reach your desired muscle mass.
Click to expand...

probably not the best mindset for someone with an eating disorder...yoyo dieting is not a great way of life, despite the fact that many people do it.
 
I don't like the term "going on a diet", going off a diet plays tricks on your mind.
 
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Mate, same thing happened to me when I was 16, I went from 90kgs to 54kgs over the course of a year. I know what you mean about being addicted to watching the numbers fall on the scale because I felt the same way.
First thing I would do is throw away your scales. The second thing I would do is spend more time with your friends and family, this will limit the time you spend doing excercise. Also if you don't have a girlfriend get one. This will dramitically decrease your time for exercise lol.
 
This is not an eating disorder it is an emotional/psychological imbalance. Best advice so far is to throw away the scales and work on interpersonal relationships.
 
I weighed less 50kg few years ago. I trained for a few years (more off than on). my heaviest was 67kg last year. I am back down to 62 which I have stayed since beginning of this year. In all honesty. I do hate the way I look and want to make a change. I wanna look like zyzz but I'm fucking lazy. I get loads of sleep. my life is pretty much stress free. I workout great but I don't eat enough. like I said. I lack the motivation and I am lazy.

Not sure if you are like me though
 
I have been in almost the exact same position. Weighing 115kg @ 6'1 when I was 18 and going right down to 67kg as at January.

Like you I also enjoy my food probably more than most but was a road cyclist and training 16 - 22 hours a week. Some days I would eat as little as 1000 cals but then others I would smash through 4000+ when binging. I was losing as much muscle as I was fat and could never get happy with how I looked.

I have found cutting out the cycling and a steadier approach to my diet is helping me lose fat put on muscle slowly and actually has me looking better and seeing results in the gym. I still count cals but eliminated the binges which then takes away a lot of the guilt and wanting to train it off.

I have gained 5 lean kg since feb following my current approach.

The biggest this is just getting you head right, it gets easier and the more you grow the more you will know yourself that your doing the right thing.
 
TLS said:
This is not an eating disorder it is an emotional/psychological imbalance. Best advice so far is to throw away the scales and work on interpersonal relationships.
Click to expand...

maybe but maybe not. with the greatest of respect, nobody here is qualified to make that judgement call or diagnosis.

I would recommend he sees his doctor in case there is concern.
Some of the things spoken of indicate that it's worth doing.

I say this having been there myself.
 
i would like to seriously suggest that you go and see a counsellor who specialises in cognitive behavioural therapy - someone who can help you 'reframe' your thinking about food, fuel, and exercise - when you are ready, then go and see a dietitian - someone who can help you think differently about nutrition, vitamins, minerals, etc.
 
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