Franco
New member
Hi mate. do you have a therapist/psychiatrist? do you have a diagnosis?
Im into my second week of dialectal behaviour therapy, which is for borderline kunce. its a group therapy thing, at first my attitude was pretty much "get fucked" when thinking about a group situation, but i love it. whats helping me more than the DBT is simply being in a room (of about 10) of kunce who feel what i feel, think what i think...im not alone. its actually my happy place now, whish i was there all the time. really have a sense of belonging when im there, which is massive for me. we all openly talk about some pretty dark shit and most of it is met with laughter as we are all know 100% what the person is saying.
i took citalopram in my mid 20s for a few years..it stopped me being depressed in a way..but it made me toally numb, didnt feel anything. in the end i decided i would rather feel shit than feel nothing. now i take a small dose of zoloft but my main one is seroquel..take it every evening and just drift into a nice little wonderland and fall asleep. it also helps reset me..when i wake the next day I have little memory of the feelings i had the day before. im on a small dose (25-50mg) which is where the sedating effects are, anything more goes into the anti psychotic range which i dont really need. gone up to 100mg when shits been bad and that hits you like a train. cant imagine how people on 500mg-800mg for bipolar and schizophrenia function..
i wouldn't mind some more meds to help with the anxiety and depression, most of the time walk around with the gut wrenching feeling of emptiness, like someone is torturing your soul. will check out what vonfram is talking about. want to also see about some mood stabilizers, one of the very hard things for me is the mood swings..for a day or 2 its like im living in hell its self..then suddenly im fine for a day or 2..then im not. would just rather one of the other lol.
fuck benzos, im guessing your only getting meds from a gp? most psychiatrists wouldn't give them.. in reality they do little for mental health issues and carry an extremely high risk for abuse. benzo addiction is no joke and for someone feeling as you do it would be easy to fall victim.
Yeah I’ll definitely look into the things mentioned by Jungnaut and Vonfram as well. I’m starting to feel alot better at the moment, citalopram obviously takes a massive amount of time to really kick in and at week 9 i think it is really starting to do what it is supposed to. I don’t think any SSRI effects different ppl in the same way so maybe I’ve gotten lucky. I went from admitting myself into the hospital about 10 weeks ago twice in a week to nearly back to normal with obviously alot of work still to do though. Stopping drinking, being consistent with meds and therapy and having a supportive family look out for me is what has helped. I feel alot of sympathy for those guys dealing with a mental illness without any close support, it would be even darker hell.
Was getting meds from GP which was backed up by a psych from the hospital who said stick with what I was given and up dose before giving up. I’ve been pretty good with Benzos, only when absolutely neccessary will I take them. I read about them before starting and it is said Valium can be harder on withdrawal than herion.