Alpha Moth
New member
thanks for the advice, guys.
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feeling depressed
- Thread starter Alpha Moth
- Start date
thats some heavy stuff your dealing with at the moment.
dude .. i d be telling your dad what you remember.. get it off your chest. its most likely weighing you down.. a burden you dont really need to have on yourself.. tell him what you remember, it would take the load off a bit.. other than that start getting involved in things, dont jsut sit at home.. get some help.
you have to take the steps yourself to change how your thinking. you ve recognised the problem, now its time to take the action to get out of the hole your in. all the best with it.
dude .. i d be telling your dad what you remember.. get it off your chest. its most likely weighing you down.. a burden you dont really need to have on yourself.. tell him what you remember, it would take the load off a bit.. other than that start getting involved in things, dont jsut sit at home.. get some help.
you have to take the steps yourself to change how your thinking. you ve recognised the problem, now its time to take the action to get out of the hole your in. all the best with it.
canned tuna
Member
Inb4DoctorBella
Based on your interraction with him, I wouldn't be comfortable with him in my life. Personally, I'd tell him he will never be your father and to fuck off back out of your life.
From being in the same place as you a couple of times in the last few years - it sounds like you're awfully jaded, just tagging along with your current lifestyle for the ride.
A change of perspective or a change in lifestyle is the answer.
A 9-5 job won't end your life - it can actually enable you to live a fuller life outside of work as you have greater income and security... but it's what you make of it. Some people need to enjoy every second of their job, some people work to live.
I use times like this as inward reflection, you can learn a lot about yourself. But at the same time you must be aware of the bigger picture... don't make big decisions when you are in a state of depression
You can grab life by the nuts
Based on your interraction with him, I wouldn't be comfortable with him in my life. Personally, I'd tell him he will never be your father and to fuck off back out of your life.
From being in the same place as you a couple of times in the last few years - it sounds like you're awfully jaded, just tagging along with your current lifestyle for the ride.
A change of perspective or a change in lifestyle is the answer.
A 9-5 job won't end your life - it can actually enable you to live a fuller life outside of work as you have greater income and security... but it's what you make of it. Some people need to enjoy every second of their job, some people work to live.
I use times like this as inward reflection, you can learn a lot about yourself. But at the same time you must be aware of the bigger picture... don't make big decisions when you are in a state of depression
You can grab life by the nuts
Oh Alpha!
Such a lot going on in that lovely head of yours, I'm not surprised you're feeling down and a little helpless. You need to sort through those thoughts!
Let's fragment it?
1. You
2. Study
3. Work
4. Where are you right now? And where are you headed?
5. Relationships (girlfriend, friends, social circles, enjoyment)
6. The past (Dad, little sister, Mum etc) Your childhood, or at least some of those memories are disturbing and they're obviously playing on your mind as you attempt to build some kind of relationship with your Dad, via facebook.
You're so young still Alpha and you have so many great things to look forward to in life
Jesus, I'm 36 and I still don't feel grown up yet! lol
I guess my advice would be, focus, for now, on your life. Your Dad has been absent for so long, his abusive messages are not okay. I have learnt in life, that people only treat you, the way you allow them to.
You're a better man than that and unless or until, your father can show you some respect, as another human being, he shouldn't have the right to exist in your universe.
You're not going to automatically love eachother, just because you're blood related. And that's ok. It really is. It sounds to me like he was absent for most of your life anyway.
But the disappointment lies in the fact that as human beings, we all want to be loved and nurtured and cared for. Often what we hope for, from those closest to us, is more than they're capable of giving.
Your father, can't fill you with the things you need right now. And you can't ever seek it or expect it from him.
It has to come from within you. You have to love yourself enough to persevere with University, to get a job, or a couple of part time jobs that tickle your fancy and allow you to live and be occupied. YOU are in the very first stages of forging your own life Alpha, allow yourself time enough to do this, without beating yourself up so much.
Be kind to yourself, if you need to talk to someone, there is no shame in seeking assistance and having an external party listen to your thoughts and offer advice/suggestions on how to move forward, or at least your options, on how to move forward?
This may be a useful thing for you? To get you out of the 'helpless' funk you're in?
We all get stuck in ruts and often feel that there's 'no way out' or we're 'trapped' in the life we're living....
The truth is, only you can change it. And there are always options open to us. Sometimes we just fail to see them for ourselves? So having another person to talk things through with, often helps with clarity and open's our eyes to the choices present for us.
Your first point of call should be your GP. It sounds to me like you're depressed. The GP will make a referral for you to see someone and try to find that positivity and zest for life within yourself again.
Chin up lovely lad!
The truth is, you've obviously had a difficult childhood, in some ways - as have we all, to some degree.
But you're a young man now, with options and choices and character and you are in the midst of planning your path through life. These are all positives! The fact that you even posted this, is positive. Because it means the way you're feeling, is bothering you and you know something is not right.
It's ok to feel this way sometimes.
It's ok to reach out for help.
And it's ok to talk about it.
Our path through life changes so often, for so many different reasons Alpha.
The power to change your current situation, is already within you. The fuse just has to be re-lit
Go see your Dr, talk to him/her. Or better still, come to Brisbane and see mine! lol
Either way, take the first step......that's all you have to do
EDIT : Tuna...you're a cheeky shit face, but I love ya anyway
Such a lot going on in that lovely head of yours, I'm not surprised you're feeling down and a little helpless. You need to sort through those thoughts!
Let's fragment it?
1. You
2. Study
3. Work
4. Where are you right now? And where are you headed?
5. Relationships (girlfriend, friends, social circles, enjoyment)
6. The past (Dad, little sister, Mum etc) Your childhood, or at least some of those memories are disturbing and they're obviously playing on your mind as you attempt to build some kind of relationship with your Dad, via facebook.
You're so young still Alpha and you have so many great things to look forward to in life
Jesus, I'm 36 and I still don't feel grown up yet! lol
I guess my advice would be, focus, for now, on your life. Your Dad has been absent for so long, his abusive messages are not okay. I have learnt in life, that people only treat you, the way you allow them to.
You're a better man than that and unless or until, your father can show you some respect, as another human being, he shouldn't have the right to exist in your universe.
You're not going to automatically love eachother, just because you're blood related. And that's ok. It really is. It sounds to me like he was absent for most of your life anyway.
But the disappointment lies in the fact that as human beings, we all want to be loved and nurtured and cared for. Often what we hope for, from those closest to us, is more than they're capable of giving.
Your father, can't fill you with the things you need right now. And you can't ever seek it or expect it from him.
It has to come from within you. You have to love yourself enough to persevere with University, to get a job, or a couple of part time jobs that tickle your fancy and allow you to live and be occupied. YOU are in the very first stages of forging your own life Alpha, allow yourself time enough to do this, without beating yourself up so much.
Be kind to yourself, if you need to talk to someone, there is no shame in seeking assistance and having an external party listen to your thoughts and offer advice/suggestions on how to move forward, or at least your options, on how to move forward?
This may be a useful thing for you? To get you out of the 'helpless' funk you're in?
We all get stuck in ruts and often feel that there's 'no way out' or we're 'trapped' in the life we're living....
The truth is, only you can change it. And there are always options open to us. Sometimes we just fail to see them for ourselves? So having another person to talk things through with, often helps with clarity and open's our eyes to the choices present for us.
Your first point of call should be your GP. It sounds to me like you're depressed. The GP will make a referral for you to see someone and try to find that positivity and zest for life within yourself again.
Chin up lovely lad!
The truth is, you've obviously had a difficult childhood, in some ways - as have we all, to some degree.
But you're a young man now, with options and choices and character and you are in the midst of planning your path through life. These are all positives! The fact that you even posted this, is positive. Because it means the way you're feeling, is bothering you and you know something is not right.
It's ok to feel this way sometimes.
It's ok to reach out for help.
And it's ok to talk about it.
Our path through life changes so often, for so many different reasons Alpha.
The power to change your current situation, is already within you. The fuse just has to be re-lit
Go see your Dr, talk to him/her. Or better still, come to Brisbane and see mine! lol
Either way, take the first step......that's all you have to do
EDIT : Tuna...you're a cheeky shit face, but I love ya anyway
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KungFooGoo
Gangster
Pro tip : Don't take anti depressants, they'll make you wan't to top yourself more.
chocchillimango
Well-known member
Hey, Alpha, I have to agree with the guys a bit here.
I've been through some depression in the past too and it can seem hard to get going.
But definitely the fact that you recognise this is where you are and you know there are big issues you haven't yet had any closure about ... and mostly that you don't want to feel like this, are good signs you can pull yourself out of it.
Only you can know and decide how you really feel about your father and whether or not you want him in your life (although he does not sound like a positive force in your life at all..). Sometimes we have to do what is right for ourselves and that can mean letting people go from our lives.
You have a bond with your sister and that's a great thing, especially as you feel responsible for her too.
Mate, you need to grab your life by the family jewels - with what you say, responsibility for your own destiny is what's missing. Only you can do that. Right now is not the time to be making big life decisions about whether or not a 9-5 job would make you happy.
Start by picking some good positive things you can do to turn this around. Don't expect to feel listless one day and full of energy in 24 hours. Make a commitment to yourself to do something about one or two things. Once you do that, start on something else.
I hate making lists but sometimes a list can really help.
Set yourself a goal or two. Things that will get you out of bed in the morning with purpose.
Your life is not worthless, nobody's ever is.
damn, not InB4DoctorBella ... and hey, you can trust me, cos i am a doctor
ps for the record, I'm 47 and have no intention of ever growing up.
I've been through some depression in the past too and it can seem hard to get going.
But definitely the fact that you recognise this is where you are and you know there are big issues you haven't yet had any closure about ... and mostly that you don't want to feel like this, are good signs you can pull yourself out of it.
Only you can know and decide how you really feel about your father and whether or not you want him in your life (although he does not sound like a positive force in your life at all..). Sometimes we have to do what is right for ourselves and that can mean letting people go from our lives.
You have a bond with your sister and that's a great thing, especially as you feel responsible for her too.
Mate, you need to grab your life by the family jewels - with what you say, responsibility for your own destiny is what's missing. Only you can do that. Right now is not the time to be making big life decisions about whether or not a 9-5 job would make you happy.
Start by picking some good positive things you can do to turn this around. Don't expect to feel listless one day and full of energy in 24 hours. Make a commitment to yourself to do something about one or two things. Once you do that, start on something else.
I hate making lists but sometimes a list can really help.
Set yourself a goal or two. Things that will get you out of bed in the morning with purpose.
Your life is not worthless, nobody's ever is.
damn, not InB4DoctorBella ... and hey, you can trust me, cos i am a doctor
ps for the record, I'm 47 and have no intention of ever growing up.
Big Mick
"2014 - Kunce of the year"
I look at things differently to most people so here it is.
1) Tell your father to go away and cut off all contact, you do not need people like him in your life.
2) Pull yourself together and get a job or go to uni or do something, if I sat around the house all day with nothing to do slept till 4pm and lazed around I would be depressed as well.
3) You said you will be finished at uni in 4 years time, so does that mean you are going to uni or not??
4) You need to get out and get amongst life, even if it's working at Maccas or Woolies, you need to get out of the house and do stuff.
You need to get up with a purpose, have a shower, shave and get dressed and go out and do something, if you are not going uni get a job. You sound like you are feeling sorry for yourself, it appears you have been let down by your parents, but no need to follow in their foot steps, you are your own person so make your own luck, no one will come knocking on your door to see if you want a job you have to go out and get it.
1) Tell your father to go away and cut off all contact, you do not need people like him in your life.
2) Pull yourself together and get a job or go to uni or do something, if I sat around the house all day with nothing to do slept till 4pm and lazed around I would be depressed as well.
3) You said you will be finished at uni in 4 years time, so does that mean you are going to uni or not??
4) You need to get out and get amongst life, even if it's working at Maccas or Woolies, you need to get out of the house and do stuff.
You need to get up with a purpose, have a shower, shave and get dressed and go out and do something, if you are not going uni get a job. You sound like you are feeling sorry for yourself, it appears you have been let down by your parents, but no need to follow in their foot steps, you are your own person so make your own luck, no one will come knocking on your door to see if you want a job you have to go out and get it.
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Alpha Moth
New member
Newcastle.
It's not just so easy to tell him to piss off, I have a little sister there who I would like to know. That's the only thing. Haven't talked to him in 4 years. He also denies all those things by saying when I first met him "anything your mother told you is bullshit" funny thing my mother never told me a thing about him, it's from memory.
I do go to Uni. Well I am doing open foundation which will get me into uni. So far I am averaging around 90% so it's not going too bad. But it's only 2 times a week and doesn't really get me out.
I love climbing mountains and exploring and Scandinavia. I live in Suburbia Newcastle and without a car or money lol. I've been planning to go to Norway next year for a month to just live out in the tourist cabins there and hike and climb mountains all day. That's a bit far away though. I just need to get a job.
I do not want to go to a doctor. My sister has been down that route and I've found her in a bathroom floor covered in blood from her trying to kill herself. I don't want to go anywhere near that. Most of my family members have gone through a hard time and come out stronger, especially my mother.
I know it will be hard but sometimes I'm just unsure of what I want to do or should do and it seems pointless sometimes. But I've felt what it's like to be out in the mountains in Norway, no one for hundreds of miles besides my friend and it was so nice to not have a worry in the world and I want that feeling back.
Goosey
.
You did well writing that down.
Sometimes, well most times it's just good talking to people face to face, you must talk to people, talk to your sister, everyone want to feel valued, and most people want to help, it's just good to talk, you don't feel so isolated then, and you realize everyone has shit going on.
It's just that your own problems are big.
I have had ongoing issues with my family, I deal with it by surrounding myself with people that enjoy my company, I'll talk the anyone about my stuff, it helps.
Sometimes, well most times it's just good talking to people face to face, you must talk to people, talk to your sister, everyone want to feel valued, and most people want to help, it's just good to talk, you don't feel so isolated then, and you realize everyone has shit going on.
It's just that your own problems are big.
I have had ongoing issues with my family, I deal with it by surrounding myself with people that enjoy my company, I'll talk the anyone about my stuff, it helps.
You just need to move on with your own life. Don't look to the internet for advice just forge ahead and live your life. Clearly you have been through a shitstorm but alot of people go through alot worse shit and deal with it.
There is always going to be dickheads in life that shit on you, just learn to recognise them, deal with them appropriately and move on.
Lifes to short to waste your time depressed.
There is always going to be dickheads in life that shit on you, just learn to recognise them, deal with them appropriately and move on.
Lifes to short to waste your time depressed.
Big Mick
"2014 - Kunce of the year"
Ok, so your studying two days a week, and your doing well, so you should be happy with that.
Now get a part time job doing anything, labouring, making coffee, flipping burgers, stacking shelves anything, gets you out of the house and gets you earning money. Will boost self esteem, and most of these places have an active social life attached to it as well, so you will meet like minded people and go from there.
Don't think about it, just get out and do it, there are plenty of jobs about.
If you like mountains the blue mountains are not that far away, so stop worrying about Norway for now, no good having a lobster and truffles appetite on a sausages mash income. I love motorsport, would love to drive a Ferrari and go to the Nurnburg ring in Germany but unfortunately I have a Falcon and Eastern Creek budget, so no point worrying about that.
Now get a part time job doing anything, labouring, making coffee, flipping burgers, stacking shelves anything, gets you out of the house and gets you earning money. Will boost self esteem, and most of these places have an active social life attached to it as well, so you will meet like minded people and go from there.
Don't think about it, just get out and do it, there are plenty of jobs about.
If you like mountains the blue mountains are not that far away, so stop worrying about Norway for now, no good having a lobster and truffles appetite on a sausages mash income. I love motorsport, would love to drive a Ferrari and go to the Nurnburg ring in Germany but unfortunately I have a Falcon and Eastern Creek budget, so no point worrying about that.
chocchillimango
Well-known member
hey Alpha, whatever else, consider yourself group hugged thoroughly by us.
Alpha Moth
New member
It was more so of me just having something to look forward to. I've done it around 3-4 times already, gone to europe 2 times for a year each, norway several times and sweden too. somehow i make it happen.
Thanks guys though.
I agree with Big Mick to a certain degree Alpha.
But depression can become intensely difficult to lift yourself out of. There is a difference between feeling 'down' for a day or two and being depressed.
Dr's aren't evil Alpha lol I don't recommend medication either, but someone to talk to, debrief with, unload with? That's important and in my experience, all too often, it's men alot of the time, who fail to recognise this?
Women are usually great at unloading and debriefing, we're generally emotional creatures and like to 'talk stuff out'.
Men on the other hand, like to bury stuff, or pretend it's not happening and shove it down into the pit of their being and try to forget about it.
The problem with that is, is that sorrows float right back up to the surface and come back to bite you on the arse at some point in your life.
Andy's so right, you need positivity in your life. People to talk with, bounce idea's off and share in your own excitement for your life.
Yes, you have a little sister you would like to know. That's a matter you're going to have to tackle and unfortunately it sounds as if you're father will have to be dealt with if you choose to continue or initiate contact with her.
Your relationship or your memories of your relationship with your Dad is something you need to discuss with someone. Why don't you talk to your Mum about it? Talk it through, try to gather some history, so you know somewhat what you're dealing with here?
These are lessons you must learn in life and yes, you're right, they'll all make you a stronger, more thoughtful human being hopefully
There's no shame in speaking with someone.
Mick is right, you do need address your own life.
Job
Drivers license
Surroundings
People you interract with
Clear visions and goals and a daily purpose is important
I love mountain climbing too, I love being alone and the solitude that brings - but unfortunately, most of us have to work to be able to live - so you need to strike a balance between the life you must live, to survive adequately and support yourself (for now) and the life you'd like to live?
We all do, to some degree.
And then of course, there's the life you aim to have. And that's a long term goal! You're addressing that one with school and the trip abroad. But they seem like hard work right now, because they're so far away?
You need 'now' goals.
You need a job, or a part time job at the very least.
Look into getting a license.
Set yourself some shorter term goals that you can work towards, so there is purpose in the day to day.
You're so young still. Don't think Dr's are the enemy, that's bullshit. They're there to help us, when we're unable or feel we're unable to help ourselves.
Any good Dr, won't prescribe medication straight off the bat, they will work with you, listen to you and refer you to someone who specialises in the field you require help with.
I just sent a member of my staff to my own Dr, who has since been referred to a psychologist, just to talk things through and help him pave out a future pathway for himself.
Some of us have these tools innately, but most of us learn them along life's journey, at some point.
There is no shame in talking, discussing things and being able to gain the tools to know how to handle situations like these in the future.
Because the truth is, people will always disappoint you and often it's the people we love the most. We all need to learn who we are, what we stand for and how we're going to react to what life throws our way.
You had every right to post this on the forum and seek some advice and perspective.
But in the end, you must and will do, what feels right for you.
And maybe Mick is right - maybe it's as simple as getting out of bed tomorrow morning and starting your day out training and then coming home and showering, getting dressed and hitting the pavement to seek a job, any job! But something that will put cash in your pocket and give you a purpose every day.
Maybe that's the first step?
And once you have a job, your mind is occupied more fully, split between that and study? You'll also have money in your pocket, to be able to buy the necessities and live a little too. Save towards your trip, or to go and see your little sister? See how one step, leads to many steps?
Purpose
Passion
Commitment
Action
They're the fundamentals of life.
But you just have to take the first step, for yourself.
But depression can become intensely difficult to lift yourself out of. There is a difference between feeling 'down' for a day or two and being depressed.
Dr's aren't evil Alpha lol I don't recommend medication either, but someone to talk to, debrief with, unload with? That's important and in my experience, all too often, it's men alot of the time, who fail to recognise this?
Women are usually great at unloading and debriefing, we're generally emotional creatures and like to 'talk stuff out'.
Men on the other hand, like to bury stuff, or pretend it's not happening and shove it down into the pit of their being and try to forget about it.
The problem with that is, is that sorrows float right back up to the surface and come back to bite you on the arse at some point in your life.
Andy's so right, you need positivity in your life. People to talk with, bounce idea's off and share in your own excitement for your life.
Yes, you have a little sister you would like to know. That's a matter you're going to have to tackle and unfortunately it sounds as if you're father will have to be dealt with if you choose to continue or initiate contact with her.
Your relationship or your memories of your relationship with your Dad is something you need to discuss with someone. Why don't you talk to your Mum about it? Talk it through, try to gather some history, so you know somewhat what you're dealing with here?
These are lessons you must learn in life and yes, you're right, they'll all make you a stronger, more thoughtful human being hopefully
There's no shame in speaking with someone.
Mick is right, you do need address your own life.
Job
Drivers license
Surroundings
People you interract with
Clear visions and goals and a daily purpose is important
I love mountain climbing too, I love being alone and the solitude that brings - but unfortunately, most of us have to work to be able to live - so you need to strike a balance between the life you must live, to survive adequately and support yourself (for now) and the life you'd like to live?
We all do, to some degree.
And then of course, there's the life you aim to have. And that's a long term goal! You're addressing that one with school and the trip abroad. But they seem like hard work right now, because they're so far away?
You need 'now' goals.
You need a job, or a part time job at the very least.
Look into getting a license.
Set yourself some shorter term goals that you can work towards, so there is purpose in the day to day.
You're so young still. Don't think Dr's are the enemy, that's bullshit. They're there to help us, when we're unable or feel we're unable to help ourselves.
Any good Dr, won't prescribe medication straight off the bat, they will work with you, listen to you and refer you to someone who specialises in the field you require help with.
I just sent a member of my staff to my own Dr, who has since been referred to a psychologist, just to talk things through and help him pave out a future pathway for himself.
Some of us have these tools innately, but most of us learn them along life's journey, at some point.
There is no shame in talking, discussing things and being able to gain the tools to know how to handle situations like these in the future.
Because the truth is, people will always disappoint you and often it's the people we love the most. We all need to learn who we are, what we stand for and how we're going to react to what life throws our way.
You had every right to post this on the forum and seek some advice and perspective.
But in the end, you must and will do, what feels right for you.
And maybe Mick is right - maybe it's as simple as getting out of bed tomorrow morning and starting your day out training and then coming home and showering, getting dressed and hitting the pavement to seek a job, any job! But something that will put cash in your pocket and give you a purpose every day.
Maybe that's the first step?
And once you have a job, your mind is occupied more fully, split between that and study? You'll also have money in your pocket, to be able to buy the necessities and live a little too. Save towards your trip, or to go and see your little sister? See how one step, leads to many steps?
Purpose
Passion
Commitment
Action
They're the fundamentals of life.
But you just have to take the first step, for yourself.
Last edited:
chocchillimango
Well-known member
I agree with Big Mick to a certain degree Alpha.
But depression can become intensely difficult to lift yourself out of. There is a difference between feeling 'down' for a day or two and being depressed.
Dr's aren't evil Alpha lol I don't recommend medication either, but someone to talk to, debrief with, unload with? That's important and in my experience, all too often, it's men alot of the time, who fail to recognise this?
Women are usually great at unloading and debriefing, we're generally emotional creatures and like to 'talk stuff out'.
Men on the other hand, like to bury stuff, or pretend it's not happening and shove it down into the pit of their being and try to forget about it.
The problem with that is, is that sorrows float right back up to the surface and come back to bite you on the arse at some point in your life.
Andy's so right, you need positivity in your life. People to talk with, bounce idea's off and share in your own excitement for your life.
Yes, you have a little sister you would like to know. That's a matter you're going to have to tackle and unfortunately it sounds as if you're father will have to be dealt with if you choose to continue or initiate contact with her.
Your relationship or your memories of your relationship with your Dad is something you need to discuss with someone. Why don't you talk to your Mum about it? Talk it through, try to gather some history, so you know somewhat what you're dealing with here?
These are lessons you must learn in life and yes, you're right, they'll all make you a stronger, more thoughtful human being hopefully
There's no shame in speaking with someone.
Mick is right, you do need address your own life.
Job
Drivers license
Surroundings
People you interract with
Clear visions and goals and a daily purpose is important
I love mountain climbing too, I love being alone and the solitude that brings - but unfortunately, most of us have to work to be able to live - so you need to strike a balance between the life you must live, to survive adequately and support yourself (for now) and the life you'd like to live?
We all do, to some degree.
And then of course, there's the life you aim to have. And that's a long term goal! You're addressing that one with school and the trip abroad. But they seem like hard work right now, because they're so far away?
You need 'now' goals.
You need a job, or a part time job at the very least.
Look into getting a license.
Set yourself some shorter term goals that you can work towards, so there is purpose in the day to day.
You're so young still. Don't think Dr's are the enemy, that's bullshit. They're there to help us, when we're unable or feel we're unable to help ourselves.
Any good Dr, won't prescribe medication straight off the bat, they will work with you, listen to you and refer you to someone who specialises in the field you require help with.
I just sent a member of my staff to my own Dr, who has since been referred to a psychologist, just to talk things through and help him pave out a future pathway for himself.
Some of us have these tools innately, but most of us learn them along life's journey, at some point.
There is no shame in talking, discussing things and being able to gain the tools to know how to handle situations like these in the future.
Because the truth is, people will always disappoint you and often it's the people we love the most. We all need to learn who we are, what we stand for and how we're going to react to what life throws our way.
You had every right to post this on the forum and seek some advice and perspective.
But in the end, you must and will do, what feels right for you.
And maybe Mick is right - maybe it's as simple as getting out of bed tomorrow morning and starting your day out training and then coming home and showering, getting dressed and hitting the pavement to seek a job, any job! But something that will put cash in your pocket and give you a purpose every day.
Maybe that's the first step?
And once you have a job, your mind is occupied more fully, split between that and study? You'll also have money in your pocket, to be able to buy the necessities and live a little too. Save towards your trip, or to go and see your little sister? See how one step, leads to many steps?
Purpose
Passion
Commitment
Action
They're the fundamentals of life.
But you just have to take the first step, for yourself.
100% spot on, BB.
An important point you raise is that we all have to compromise in life and that doesn't mean the end of the world.
We all have to take jobs we don't like, or have to live in places we don't really want to live in and have responsibilities or have to put up with pressures, and sometimes people, we would never choose to have to deal with.
That is just life. Sometimes what we want or dream of isn't necessarily what we need. And that makes us both stronger and hopefully able to find joy in in places we'd never thought of before.
In all of the things you do, look for the good. it may not immediately apparent but there is always an upside. Even the most dire situations can lead to something positive. Even if it's through shaping a stronger, more resilient you.
Always.
canned tuna
Member
Hard to disagree with any posts on here ... well worth taking on board mothy
Rambodian
No I'm not cambodian
Well i couldn't be fwaaarked reading everyones responses as it's getting to be like a book lol.
I will say this;
1) Let go of the past, or you will never move forward
2) Be honest FFS, you want to know your Dad (even if he is a cocksucker) so get to know him. Stop being stubborn and just do it......If I could of been told to just 'DO IT' yrs ago, I'd be way better off in life. Everyone always thinks and procrastinates to much, just start contacting on a regular basis and make effort to see and know him......stop 'waiting' for him to do it, you sound like him, so your both stubborn as fuck, just do it boy.
3) Keep busy......sitting around feeling sorry for yourself doesn't accomplish shit.
4) When your down and out, you have nothing to loose. Take advantage of that.
5) This one is MOST IMPORTANT!.....go and help the needy/homeless/worse off than you, YES go and volunteer in a shelter or youth center......This will help you put your life into perspective. And you will feel appreciated. I have done this when I was depressed....it works, you will learn to love life again because you will be considered a somebody bud.
EDIT: You have so much to offer those around you mate, so offer it, your a traveled fella......young blokes that are on the streets could benefit from a worldly insight, they will hang off your every word.
I will say this;
1) Let go of the past, or you will never move forward
2) Be honest FFS, you want to know your Dad (even if he is a cocksucker) so get to know him. Stop being stubborn and just do it......If I could of been told to just 'DO IT' yrs ago, I'd be way better off in life. Everyone always thinks and procrastinates to much, just start contacting on a regular basis and make effort to see and know him......stop 'waiting' for him to do it, you sound like him, so your both stubborn as fuck, just do it boy.
3) Keep busy......sitting around feeling sorry for yourself doesn't accomplish shit.
4) When your down and out, you have nothing to loose. Take advantage of that.
5) This one is MOST IMPORTANT!.....go and help the needy/homeless/worse off than you, YES go and volunteer in a shelter or youth center......This will help you put your life into perspective. And you will feel appreciated. I have done this when I was depressed....it works, you will learn to love life again because you will be considered a somebody bud.
EDIT: You have so much to offer those around you mate, so offer it, your a traveled fella......young blokes that are on the streets could benefit from a worldly insight, they will hang off your every word.
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This is exactly what I was going to say.
One of the essential human needs is - significance.
We all need to feel needed or wanted or noticed, etc.
The feelings of gratitude you will get from helping others will show you that you are wanted and needed as you make a difference in their lives.
This makes you valuable.
Also, you said:
"I'm not very excited about what life has to offer me at the moment."
However, the rules are the same for everbody.
It comes down to your attitude which affects the way you interpret life.
What do you have to offer life?
Starting with the step mentioned above will change everything.
Seems like you're in a bit of a rut at the moment, it must happen to most people at one stage in their lives.
You'll break through it when you get some direction, which will come once you have some clear goals in mind.
Good luck.
Big Mick
"2014 - Kunce of the year"
Mate you are 22 and have travelled to Europe 3-4 times
I think it's time you knuckle down and do what needs to be done, I am 44 and have never been to europe, when I was 22 I was working two jobs as well as studying, hitting the gym three to four times a week and training martial arts twice a week, hardly had time to sleep and no time to be depressed.
To be honest I think you have too much time on your hands to over think stuff, get busy and start filling in your time.
PS all the advice given here, even though slightly different from person to person is very very good
Now get some sleep, get up tomorrow at 7am, have a shower, shave, put some clean cloths on, get a hair cut if you need one and go out and start looking for a part time job. Hit the Gym in the arvo, train your guts out and do it again the next day and so on, get into a routine, good luck, wish I was 22 again mate the world is at your feet!
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