Goosey
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two years before that, the words andy and marriage/wedding (that's 3) would have never been used in the same sentance.
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two years before that, the words andy and marriage/wedding (that's 3) would have never been used in the same sentance.
El Testicle
Goat that feeling
chocchillimango
Well-known member
IRON TANKS
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Lol at the above! Interesting topic. There were times when I thought, no, marriage is not for me. I found it hard to be in a relationship despite how much I loved my previous partner. I wanted to be free, and as guilty I felt admitting it, I did want to be with other women. I thing these things happen in your early mid-twenties. The problem was there were a lot of women like wolves waiting for a bite (this seems to happen when you're in a relationship and not so much when you're readily available). It seriously comes down to that tug of war. People want what they can't have. There was a stage there where I thought I wouldn't. But I think with a few more years experience, differing goals, it may work. I am still skeptical with divorce rates and current society, but if you build a nice family I think that might be a pretty good feeling. I look at my cousins, they're all run off their feet and jokingly say "get married they said, have kids they said, it'll be fun they said..." as in telling me to avoid it. I think there is definitely a serious side to what they're saying, but there must be an upside of having your next of kin running around the place?
I think all choices (bachelor / serial dater / monogamous marriage) have their ups. I have done all of them, the problem is you can't have your cake and eat it. Serial dating, different women is great. Not just for sex (well...) but the buzz you get meeting new people forming new relationships and having no constraints. In my time over the last year and a bit (after a 5 year stint) I met a lot of women, but some of them were just genuine friends in the end. It's nice to have that, it doesn't really happen when you've involved with someone (jealousy / out of respect) whatever the reason. Likewise, the family nest with some kids I imagine is a pretty good feeling. I think all of the aforementioned can wear thin and take their toll (bored in monogamy, or frustrated as a bachelor) so I am on the fence. I definitely think it's a good idea to experience both a long term relationship and quite a bit of time single. You get some good perspective. I know people who are at extreme ends, serial relationship artists, never single. And serial bachelors, never seen someone for more than 2 weeks. Just me, but not entirely sure this is a good platform for learning about relationships.
One thing I vowed never to do was get into anything long term with someone unless I would stick it out. Separating from someone you very much care about without any solid reason is very very tough - to watch the other person fall to pieces if something that will stay etched into my mind for who knows how long. I have the toughest of skin, crocodile tears they call me.. but this I will admit was incredibly tough to go through.
So, I guess enjoy yourselves, mingle, don't just settle because "you're getting too old to go clubbing". It's not about that. But if she's right for you then take charge and work at it. I have my regrets for sure. All in retrospect..
I think all choices (bachelor / serial dater / monogamous marriage) have their ups. I have done all of them, the problem is you can't have your cake and eat it. Serial dating, different women is great. Not just for sex (well...) but the buzz you get meeting new people forming new relationships and having no constraints. In my time over the last year and a bit (after a 5 year stint) I met a lot of women, but some of them were just genuine friends in the end. It's nice to have that, it doesn't really happen when you've involved with someone (jealousy / out of respect) whatever the reason. Likewise, the family nest with some kids I imagine is a pretty good feeling. I think all of the aforementioned can wear thin and take their toll (bored in monogamy, or frustrated as a bachelor) so I am on the fence. I definitely think it's a good idea to experience both a long term relationship and quite a bit of time single. You get some good perspective. I know people who are at extreme ends, serial relationship artists, never single. And serial bachelors, never seen someone for more than 2 weeks. Just me, but not entirely sure this is a good platform for learning about relationships.
One thing I vowed never to do was get into anything long term with someone unless I would stick it out. Separating from someone you very much care about without any solid reason is very very tough - to watch the other person fall to pieces if something that will stay etched into my mind for who knows how long. I have the toughest of skin, crocodile tears they call me.. but this I will admit was incredibly tough to go through.
So, I guess enjoy yourselves, mingle, don't just settle because "you're getting too old to go clubbing". It's not about that. But if she's right for you then take charge and work at it. I have my regrets for sure. All in retrospect..
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KungFooGoo
Gangster
No. Not religious in the slightest so l don't see the point from that front. l dont see the point of marriage in general truth be told.
Also getting married simply because you 'love each' other isn't enough either... If he's joined the army and is about to get deployed than l'm all for it so you get some fat stack benefits, other than that, meh...
Also getting married simply because you 'love each' other isn't enough either... If he's joined the army and is about to get deployed than l'm all for it so you get some fat stack benefits, other than that, meh...
RyanF
Member
I might get married, I might not. I would like to get married, but I'm not in any rush to do so. Mind you, I don't believe in waiting until I'm some arbitrary age or have met certain milestones in life before getting married, but I suppose I should at least ask a girl out before wifing her. After some truly devastating heartbreak 2 years ago, I've been pretty numb and cold towards the possibility of any immediate romance, but I think I'm actually in a stage now where I'm legitimately open to dating again, and would like to act on that.
ETA: I think that both being single and being married are good, meaningful states to be in. In light of that, part of me always wants to punch people in the face when they contrast marriage against "live a little, explore the world, have fun" etc. If life ends when you say "I do," I believe you might just be relationally retarded. If I'm going to get married, I want to live with my wife; explore with my wife; have fun with my wife. Sure, there are heightened responsibilities in marriage, but if marriage means the good times are over, something's gone wrong.
ETA: I think that both being single and being married are good, meaningful states to be in. In light of that, part of me always wants to punch people in the face when they contrast marriage against "live a little, explore the world, have fun" etc. If life ends when you say "I do," I believe you might just be relationally retarded. If I'm going to get married, I want to live with my wife; explore with my wife; have fun with my wife. Sure, there are heightened responsibilities in marriage, but if marriage means the good times are over, something's gone wrong.
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