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Best way to deal with a break up

Mate, atleast you're being honest with yourself. Thats the main thing.

I guess only time will tell your true feelings towards her, be grateful for the time you did spend together. Now that that part of your life is ending, you are opening the door to new things and possibly a new woman down the track.

I think it rings true, you know the answer deep, deep down, every body has that instinctual gut feeling.. whether they trust it is a different story or not.

I think the boundaries thing is good, but stick by them mate, don't crumble, when you have had a few drinks and think some harmless sex wont hurt..like you said, it will drag on and on and on.

chin up, stay strong, life goes on mate..we have all been there, im not saying it doesn't hurt or suck but breaking up with my ex girlfriend, who i honestly thought i could have spent the rest of my life with, led me to my new girlfriend, who is truly sooo much more a real woman than my ex ever was. She treats me so differently and it is a far healthier relationship.

Doing the thing you fear most leads you to answers of the questions you have been asking all along.
 
To put it simply, the solution is the next girl. It'll get your mind off of it, which is the best thing you can do at the moment. Dwelling on it won't help, the best thing you can do is to move on to the next chapter in your life. Don't go out of your way to ignore her completely, but definitely minimize your contact with her and you'll find it much easier to move on.

Things will work themselves out ;)
 
Cheers for the advice guys - I think now I have had real time to think and we had a proper discussion yesterday that was mature, calm and really true-full I can see now the reasons for us not being together...Iam not angry Iam just upset that such a HUGE part of my life in finishing but when one door closes you need to focus and open new doors for yourself...

Maybe we were just GREAT friends that had abit of an intimate relationship...I can tell you right now that we were never all over eachother during the relationship and like I said we rarely spoke about our feelings for eachother and nothing was ever "deep" - lets just say we couldnt spend all night chatting on the phone about how we feel and stuff like that...

I was ALWAYS worried about that in the relationship and really how much we truly loved eachother....I want her to be happy at the end of the day...and if this makes her happy then so be it.

All we need to sort out now is what will happen with the dog lol
 
Joel said:
Cheers for the advice guys - I think now I have had real time to think and we had a proper discussion yesterday that was mature, calm and really true-full I can see now the reasons for us not being together...Iam not angry Iam just upset that such a HUGE part of my life in finishing but when one door closes you need to focus and open new doors for yourself...

Maybe we were just GREAT friends that had abit of an intimate relationship...I can tell you right now that we were never all over eachother during the relationship and like I said we rarely spoke about our feelings for eachother and nothing was ever "deep" - lets just say we couldnt spend all night chatting on the phone about how we feel and stuff like that...

I was ALWAYS worried about that in the relationship and really how much we truly loved eachother....I want her to be happy at the end of the day...and if this makes her happy then so be it.

All we need to sort out now is what will happen with the dog lol
Click to expand...

Dude,

Thats tough. I 'kinda' feel ya pain... I can't remember
the last time I broke up (seeing as I'm married and all).

But here's my 10cents worth.

Stop talking about it with her! Talking maybe good for
her but us guys are built different. You've done your
serious talk blah.. blah.. blah...

Looks like you've accepted the break up; so good on you!

1. Hit the gym hard and work on yourself (this is my savior
whenever I'm down.).
2. Get out there and start dating other ppl immediately (oh and
make sure she finds our subtly..)
3. If you think you have self-esteem issues buy a few books
from amazon and read the damn thing!

Done

Devante.
P.S. Give the Dog to her unless you are DEEPLY attached to
the mutt. <- Actually Mutts are good. At least you can talk
to them and they don't judge you!
 
k_21 said:
Dude,

Thats tough. I 'kinda' feel ya pain... I can't remember
the last time I broke up (seeing as I'm married and all).

But here's my 10cents worth.

Stop talking about it with her! Talking maybe good for
her but us guys are built different. You've done your
serious talk blah.. blah.. blah...

Looks like you've accepted the break up; so good on you!

1. Hit the gym hard and work on yourself (this is my savior
whenever I'm down.).
2. Get out there and start dating other ppl immediately (oh and
make sure she finds our subtly..)
3. If you think you have self-esteem issues buy a few books
from amazon and read the damn thing!

Done

Devante.
P.S. Give the Dog to her unless you are DEEPLY attached to
the mutt. <- Actually Mutts are good. At least you can talk
to them and they don't judge you!
Click to expand...


Cheers bro!

Pretty much everything you said Iam starting to do....it kinda feels refreshing in a way to do these things that I used to love and maybe (def) took a back seat when I was in the relationship!

I want to keep the dog but dont want to if I will be going away at the end of the yr for maybe an extend period of time - but I dont know this yet so hard to make a choice really....I was sort of thinking today that I bet she doesnt even want the dog really...shes hardly said anything about what she wants to do with him so I dunno....and like you said hes nice to have around and play with and have a chat to lol
 
Joel said:
Cheers bro!

Pretty much everything you said Iam starting to do....it kinda feels refreshing in a way to do these things that I used to love and maybe (def) took a back seat when I was in the relationship!

I want to keep the dog but dont want to if I will be going away at the end of the yr for maybe an extend period of time - but I dont know this yet so hard to make a choice really....I was sort of thinking today that I bet she doesnt even want the dog really...shes hardly said anything about what she wants to do with him so I dunno....and like you said hes nice to have around and play with and have a chat to lol
Click to expand...

Joel,

One thing I forgot to mention was that with the steps
I recommended I actually combine 1 & 3.

That is while training I listen to my self-development tapes..

Number 2 I leave up to you when you feel ready. Yes it takes
time to get over it.

Nuff said.

Devante.
P.S. If your inner-child is wanting a virtual hug or something PM me :p.
 
Cheers bro - trying to just do shit loads of training (prob over-training lol), spend time with mates - and spend time with mates who have been in the same situation so I can get advice off them! and just try as much as possible to have a positive outlook on what will happen.

Really the only prob is - is my feeling towards her being with other guys - but I know my past experience that 1. this will pass and normally pass as soon as you hook up with someone else and 2. its just natural to think like that if someone has been ur gf for an extend period of time...even if you did really love them or maybe not...
 
Joel said:
Cheers bro - trying to just do shit loads of training (prob over-training lol), spend time with mates - and spend time with mates who have been in the same situation so I can get advice off them! and just try as much as possible to have a positive outlook on what will happen.

Really the only prob is - is my feeling towards her being with other guys - but I know my past experience that 1. this will pass and normally pass as soon as you hook up with someone else and 2. its just natural to think like that if someone has been ur gf for an extend period of time...even if you did really love them or maybe not...
Click to expand...

Hang on...

You didn't take me up on my 'virtual hug'.. DOH.

My feelings are hurt now. I better go call my mommy or
something.....

Devante.
 
eje said:
You are doing great Joel...sounds like you are starting to get on top of it a little...
Click to expand...

Thanks eje - I guess it more that she has been a HUGE part of my life and best mate for the last 3 1/2 years...so its abit of a change to say the least....but honestly Iam feeling ok...she msg me last night and asked if I was going out because we told eachother just to say when we are going out for awhile so we dont see eachother out...and if we have had a few drinks words may be said that are not ment...honestly I think this has been a real mature break-up...prob the 1st one I have ever had LOL....in the past I would of been straight down to the city with the boys in the chance i'll see her and then get all depressed when I do LOL....

But just stayed home - started watching a new TV show and just chilled out....was kinda nice lol
 
Joel said:
Thanks eje - I guess it more that she has been a HUGE part of my life and best mate for the last 3 1/2 years...so its abit of a change to say the least....but honestly Iam feeling ok...she msg me last night and asked if I was going out because we told eachother just to say when we are going out for awhile so we dont see eachother out...and if we have had a few drinks words may be said that are not ment...honestly I think this has been a real mature break-up...prob the 1st one I have ever had LOL....in the past I would of been straight down to the city with the boys in the chance i'll see her and then get all depressed when I do LOL....

But just stayed home - started watching a new TV show and just chilled out....was kinda nice lol
Click to expand...

Good man...it will get easier like it already has a bit, you seem to know that though...
I hope while you were watching TV you devoured something deliciously bad for you....like cadbury choc- pineapple, mint slice biscuits etc etc...all very good for mending broken hearts, just don't eat too many or you might have a hard time finding a new girl :D
 
eje said:
Good man...it will get easier like it already has a bit, you seem to know that though...
I hope while you were watching TV you devoured something deliciously bad for you....like cadbury choc- pineapple, mint slice biscuits etc etc...all very good for mending broken hearts, just don't eat too many or you might have a hard time finding a new girl :D
Click to expand...

I had a chicken salad lol

No junk for me now...gotta get back in the game :p
 
First of all i know that my relationship probably doesn't compare to yours because im a lot younger but just over a year ago i started seeing someone, we were with each other for 10 months and were very close but for confusing reasons i had to break it off. We did not see each other for about a month (over the school holidays). When School came back we started talking again and now we are close friends and both happy that way. Even know we can't be together and i do not love her like i used to, I still really enjoy talking to her and being friends with her.
Good luck with things mate.
 
N-J-T said:
First of all i know that my relationship probably doesn't compare to yours because im a lot younger but just over a year ago i started seeing someone, we were with each other for 10 months and were very close but for confusing reasons i had to break it off. We did not see each other for about a month (over the school holidays). When School came back we started talking again and now we are close friends and both happy that way. Even know we can't be together and i do not love her like i used to, I still really enjoy talking to her and being friends with her.
Good luck with things mate.
Click to expand...

Yea I dunno if me and her will/could be friends down the line....u know atm I want her in my life because I think shes been in my life for so long...but I dunno I guess time will tell what happens.

The weird thing is Iam not angry at her like I have been at gf's in the past that have broken up with me....its sorta a weird feeling ...like yes we have ended the relationship but nothing has changed really...i dunno maybe thats just a reflection on how the relationship was going - we were boyfriend and girlfriend but were just with eachother ...there was nothing really there but a friendship....I have no idea to be honest...but I do feel ALOT diff in this breakup than I have in anyother breakup...maybe iam just more mature or maybe even though Iam cut I know deep down this is the best thing for both of us.
 
Nearly 2 weeks gone and I think I feel worse lol.....i dunno hopefully i'll start to feel normal again soon.
 
Ok abit of an update - found out my gf had been cheating on me for prob the whole time we were together lol
 
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