110% natural, bro.
For reference, here is the German documentary on Russian doping which led to the investigation and subsequent banning of so many Russians (the athletes writing to WADA got no response, it wasn't till this went on telly that anything happened). Now, is it just Russia? Well, note that at one point they tell us that their drug-supplying doctor was asking for a bribe for someone in a Swiss lab. Has this person been identified? Given years of Russian doping without being caught, do you think this person in the Swiss lab was the only one?
Right. So Lance and his team did it for years, and he even successfully sued someone for defamation when they said he was doing it. But that couldn't happen again, and certainly not in Australia. The UCI suppressed Contador's positive test for Clenbuterol. But that could never happen again, and certainly not in Australia.
Marion Jones juiced for years, but never tested positive, and was only caught by her own confession. But that couldn't happen again, and certainly not in Australia. Wade exum showed that 100 US athletes, including Carl Lewis, from 1988-2000 had tested positive but had their results suppressed. But that could never happen again, and certainly not in Australia.
DDR had a state-mandated drug regime, but most never got caught. But that couldn't happen again, and certainly not in Australia.
Bulgaria had a state-mandated drug regime, but most never got caught. But that couldn't happen again, and certainly not in Australia.
Russia had a state-sactioned drug regime, but most never got caught. But that couldn't happen again, and certainly not in Australia.
The US had collusion between sports officials and drug testers for sprinting. But that couldn't happen again, and certainly not in Australia.
Before the 2012 Games Jamaica carried out
one out of competition test, claiming they were broke. But that couldn't happen again, and certainly not in Australia.
An Aussie football club had a doping regime, they had dozens of injections, but the head coach, the head physio, the power coach, the strength coach, the Board, even the
players knew nothing about it. It was just Dr Frankenstein - er, Dank - and his evil plans. Nobody asked any questions, ever, and if they did they don't remember the answers. Of course this was the only club doing anything like this, and it could couldn't happen again.
Our athletes regularly beat other countries' athletes, and we insist those countries are doping. But not us. No, no. For example, our women swimmers are bigger and faster than the DDR women's swim team ever were, and they were doping, but we would never do that. It's just talent and hard work and brilliant nutrition and great coaching.
It's all those
dirty foreigners doing it. Never us True Blues. They have oxandrolone, we don't need that, we have Vegemite!
110% natural, bro.