motivation and the excuses

[Dancelot]

Fadi, Devante is the other bloke. I'm Dancelot (real name Linh).

I understand what you said, and you're absolutely right about the psychological aspect of it. What you proposed is the way to get someone to get shit done, so to speak, even if they hate the process.

My approach is, however, that the other side of the coin is not worth looking at. I'm frankly not interested in helping such people. If you're keen, love it and want to work hard, I will do everything I can to help you. If you're the opposite of that, I won't waste my time on you.

Which is why coaching for me is a hobby and not a job!

I've had many pursuits in life, never had a problem with motivation and never had to rely on anyone to prop me up. I make it as easy as possible for those whose counsel / teaching I seek. I ask for the same from people who want my help.

I actually have done lots of things I hate to achieve things I really want, and thus I understand its importance, but I didn't need anyone to psychologically manage me to do that. Pretty sure that's just called being a responsible adult.

 

[The Hulk]

My reason for not having any time is that I lost my watch.

 

[Goosey]

I will train someone if they are willing to work, I'm not a coach.

 

[Hirdy]

Im not afraid to admit I make excuses at times.

Some times I don't train because I think I need an extra days rest or I'll fail my lifts, which is an excuse I put down to fear of failure. Surprisingly though I've found that some of my best workouts have been when I was feeling depressed, flat, mildy sick or hungover and nearly didn't go in. I usually make note of this in my diary to remind me of this fact.

I think it's important to look at what peoples goals are though before flaiming them for making excuses. If someones goal is to relax after work with a few beers while he watches his daily show then leave him be, but if he wants (his goal is) to hold some national lifting records then yes he needs to stop and weigh up his priorities.

I agree with Fadi that usually when people break a pattern it's because of a jolt which could be the result of a major catastrophe (eg family member dies of a heart attack), words from a doctor or trusted friend, something they saw on TV, a conversation they overheard or merely a thought they had while they were asleep or stood on the scales etc.

Some trainers love working with people who need motivating as they get rewarded by the results and the challenge but I guess others only want to deal with highly motivated people as the "lazy" trainees frustrate them.

I'm guessing this frustration is both mental and financial as if clients are cancelling bookings or making enquiries but not committing then its missed sales (if not now then in the future when they leave because they were sick of paying for sessions they didn't attend.

I guess that makes motivating people part of your job whether you like it or not unless you've got more clients than you can handle.

 

[The Hamburgler]

I am with Andy, lazy trainees end up reflecting badly on you because they never get the results they are after.

 

[k_21]

Devante, remember how I said that there's always two sides to every coin, well above you have presented us with one side. Here's the other side.

This side of the coin says on it: "don't waste your time trying to change what could be unchangeable."

You have your trainees who don't want to fall in love with the mean that would get them their result, they hate, loath, detest (you name it) the training and /or dieting they have to endure to achieve their goal. The point I made in the "discipline and the fat man" article was that we (for these particular clients) need to have them focus not on what they hate the most (exercising/dieting), but on what they love the most, whatever that maybe.

I'll give you an example. Let's say you Devante love training, but hate squatting, leg pressing, hack squatting, leg curls (basically any leg work). But you love nothing more than to kick ass in some bodybuilding contest. You like the attention you get from the opposite sex etc. etc.

My job is to say to you here is yes Devante, I acknowledge your deep hate for leg work, but let's just put up with it (not trying to convince the client to like or love anything here notice Devante), but simply going along with them (as long as they do the leg program), they can whinge as much as they like. My focus would be on those girls’ attention during/after contest time, those other contestant who are going to get beaten by you etc. That’s what I will be constantly reminding you of and mixing with your soup (I mean your leg workout), making it that much easier and that much more pleasant to swallow.

Psychology plays a huge role in sport, much more than many many PTs and /or coaches will ever realise (until it's too late) Devante.

I left the sport of Olympic weightlifting (at 18), before I even got started so to speak because of bad management in psychology.


Fadi.

More wisdom from 'dai-sensei' Above

Thanks!

####

To clarify I only gave you my excuse. I DIDN'T say
I let it 'over-rule' my logic to NOT Train.

But I see everyone's point from the replies. Question I'd like to
pose is where are you making excuses in your life???

The bottom line is:

'every one of us can make excuses for anything &
any area of our life. However, when you 'accept' responsibility that ALL
actions or (Lack of it) is ALL up to me/you & understand it at the
deepest of my/your core; Their is no one else except....ME/YOU '

May you all be at peace.
Devante.

 

[Big Mick]

I think, I can shed some light on some things here, as I was the lazy one making excuses all the time for many years. People will justify their reasons for not training to them selves.

Every decision you make, you justify to yourself, if you could not justify the decision you would not be able to live with yourself. So if you want to justify that outrageously expensive sports car, you know you want it, but thats not enough, you need to convince yourself that you need it. You say to yourself, I have worked hard all my life, I can afford it if I stop buying my lunch, and do an hours over times etc etc. And then you go and buy it happy within yourself that you did the right thing.

Same with exercise, eating health etc etc, when I started training the (non motivated, non exercising overweight middle aged people at work and in my circle of friends) would try and drag me down. "Why do you waste your time", "You are too old"(mind you I only turned 43 this week), "Life is too short to spend it exercising", "No time", "spend the time you waste in the gym with family instead", "drink alcohol, eat what you want and be happy" are some of the comments I have heard in the last months.

These are things people say not to be hurt full, but to justify it to them selves, as I know none of them are happy being over weight, flabby, and un fit. I have a good mate who wanted to start training with me, he lives less that 5 minutes away, yet says he has no time to drop by three times a week to train, yet when ever I go past his house after work he is sitting at home watching TV, or playing computer games

Well it's up to him, it's his life and he needs to live with himself, I no longer interfere in peoples decisions.

 

[macca]

I leave for work at 5:10 get back at home at 6:30 on a 7 day's. 7 nights and 7 off roster and manage to train every day for 45 min +. Once it's routine, it's no drama's.

 

[Fadi]

Fadi, Devante is the other bloke. I'm Dancelot (real name Linh).

Sorry about that Linh.


Fadi.

 

[Dancelot]

No worries, mate.

Out of curiosity, do you still train people? I thought you're in a different line of work, and this stuff we do here is just your hobby / passion.

 

[Fadi]

Out of curiosity, do you still train people?

Not now.

 

[thechosenone]

My mate was coming to the gym with me and he does bicep curls, dumbell lunges and peck deck and all that shit and i say do u want me to set you up a program ( just give him the rippetoes program) and he says nah im happy with what im doin, ( im thinkin fuck me dead ur stubborn) anyway the next week he goes nah cant gym today im sore from work, then he doesnt gym for the rest of the week and he buys this over priced shithouse protein powder from a supermarket and takes 1 scoop a day, and i say to him u can buy it in bulk for really cheap and he goes ill see if it works if not i wont buy it anymore ( felt like smashing my head against a brick wall) so i told him to go on www.bodybuilding.com and read up on diet and shit and he didnt even bother. he will gym 1 week then take 2 weeks off, fuckin pisses me off

 

[IRON TANKS]

Those are some burnout days Ceff.. specially with a newborn.

Having said that - it's easier to make an excuse than it is not to. My motto is, there's always someone busier than you, so get the job done - you'll feel better for it. Expend energy to create energy.

 

[ener]

man TCO, i wouldnt even bother with any of that shit anymore lol. i got heaps of mates who complain about no results but do curls, bench, curls, peck deck then blame it on everything bar the training. i used to even tell people how i trained when asked but now its just too much bullshit, "nah you should be doing like 4-5sets of 8, etc" (mostly from guys who I have 20-30kg on too) I'm not preaching im good or what i do is good, but it works (SL, to rippetoes, etc) and the less time you spend getting stressed the more time you can focus on training

edit: haha just realised that was a mega rant

My mate was coming to the gym with me and he does bicep curls, dumbell lunges and peck deck and all that shit and i say do u want me to set you up a program ( just give him the rippetoes program) and he says nah im happy with what im doin, ( im thinkin fuck me dead ur stubborn) anyway the next week he goes nah cant gym today im sore from work, then he doesnt gym for the rest of the week and he buys this over priced shithouse protein powder from a supermarket and takes 1 scoop a day, and i say to him u can buy it in bulk for really cheap and he goes ill see if it works if not i wont buy it anymore ( felt like smashing my head against a brick wall) so i told him to go on www.bodybuilding.com and read up on diet and shit and he didnt even bother. he will gym 1 week then take 2 weeks off, fuckin pisses me off

 

[GHOSTrun]

Do you have sex with the light on or off?

That thought alone should be enough motivation for people to drag their sorry ass to the gym and try and get in shape.