I'm currently into week 9 of taking Citalopram for major depression and death anxiety. It has worked to bring me back to a more level emotional state in a way that I don't feel depressed, but hasn't done much for my anxiety. I have Valium which I take sparingly but when I do I feel great. Need a drug or even a natural remedy for anxiety that is non-addictive and then I believe coupled with therapy I could get back to normal.
At the moment I'm the same as you Genics, hobbies and stuff I used to like just seem like a sick joke, everything is meaningless. Being afraid of my own death (which is decades away) and the nothingness after that has meant I'm not living. Its not logical but anxiety rarely is rational or logical.
BTW, I was givin Seroquel to calm me at the beginning as I was really bad and it made me feel very weird. They switched it to a similar drug called Olanzipine that was amazing for putting you straight to sleep.
Hi mate. do you have a therapist/psychiatrist? do you have a diagnosis?
Im into my second week of dialectal behaviour therapy, which is for borderline kunce. its a group therapy thing, at first my attitude was pretty much "get fucked" when thinking about a group situation, but i love it. whats helping me more than the DBT is simply being in a room (of about 10) of kunce who feel what i feel, think what i think...im not alone. its actually my happy place now, whish i was there all the time. really have a sense of belonging when im there, which is massive for me. we all openly talk about some pretty dark shit and most of it is met with laughter as we are all know 100% what the person is saying.
i took citalopram in my mid 20s for a few years..it stopped me being depressed in a way..but it made me toally numb, didnt feel anything. in the end i decided i would rather feel shit than feel nothing. now i take a small dose of zoloft but my main one is seroquel..take it every evening and just drift into a nice little wonderland and fall asleep. it also helps reset me..when i wake the next day I have little memory of the feelings i had the day before. im on a small dose (25-50mg) which is where the sedating effects are, anything more goes into the anti psychotic range which i dont really need. gone up to 100mg when shits been bad and that hits you like a train. cant imagine how people on 500mg-800mg for bipolar and schizophrenia function..
i wouldn't mind some more meds to help with the anxiety and depression, most of the time walk around with the gut wrenching feeling of emptiness, like someone is torturing your soul. will check out what vonfram is talking about. want to also see about some mood stabilizers, one of the very hard things for me is the mood swings..for a day or 2 its like im living in hell its self..then suddenly im fine for a day or 2..then im not. would just rather one of the other lol.
fuck benzos, im guessing your only getting meds from a gp? most psychiatrists wouldn't give them.. in reality they do little for mental health issues and carry an extremely high risk for abuse. benzo addiction is no joke and for someone feeling as you do it would be easy to fall victim.