Fadi
...
Now this is all in good fun so I hope and trust that no one here would get upset alright
!
1. All your movements are explosive.
2. You squat ass to grass and everybody asks you "WHY".
3. Powerlifters ask why you don’t use the "forearms crossed technique" on front squats.
4. If you do heavy squats and deadlifts powerlifters ask: why don't you use a belt?
5. When you do overhead-squats then suddenly everybody stops to glare at you and you see them practically count your reps.
6. You can clean a weight which 99% of gym goers can't even deadlift.
7. You can front squat more than 99% of what gym goers can back squat.
8. Powerlifters envy you for your shoulder flexibility.
9. You can jerk more than you bench-press.
10. You get done with a good workout and you've got bruises on your pelvis, thighs, or thumbs.
11. Power cages can be 'restrictive'.
12. You leave the ground with weights in your hands intentionally.
13. People talk about the bottom of a deadlift and mentally you correct them; "first pull".
14. You've ever had a problem with a bar that's 'too stiff'.
15. You have both decent squat poundages and a decent vertical no matter how much you weigh.
16. You think front squats are a great isolation exercise.
17. You're constantly jumping on the scales to make sure you're not gaining weight.
18. Your clavicles have calluses and your neck looks like you survived a hanging
19. You actually stretch before and after every training session, sometimes you just go to the gym to stretch
20. You workout what’s on the bar from the colour of the plates not how many there are.
21. Someone waving a flag in your face as you lift does not piss you off, unless its red
22. Your rest periods are usually less than 1 minute
23. You don’t train biceps or chest for fear of the muscles getting in the way of the bar
24. You feel comfortable wearing tights and shoes with a heel
25. You got to the Olympics for Weightlifting?!
26. Anything over a triple is a high-rep workout.
27. You are capable of instantly dividing or multiplying any weight by 2.2.
28. Your traps 'stand out like some alien parasite.'
29. You get bloody shins and you know that’s a good sign.
30. Your average training session takes over an hour and a half for 75 reps.
31. When you have a callous on the back of your neck from lowering push-presses.
32. Your quads are twice as big as your arms
33. Whenever you need to pick something up, you drop down into a perfect atg squat and grab it as you ride the bounce up, and then realize you're in a supermarket and quickly look around to see if anyone has noticed.
34. On the way back to the car, you hook grip your grocery bags
35. You can spend 45 minutes lifting, yet have a total time under tension of less than 90 seconds.
36. When people tell you how much they can bench, you immediately wonder if you can jerk that.
37. When people tell you how much they can deadlift, you immediately wonder if you can clean that.
38. You can say snatch or jerk with a straight face
39. Your idea of an awesome gym is a flat surface, rubber weights, and a metal bar.
40. When you hear the word 'snatch' the first thing you think of is the lift
41. You read crazy weightlifting books that are as confusing as a math textbook
42. You get excited when a new pair of weightlifting shoes comes out
43. You do insane squat programs that most think is impossible even with drugs
44. You are sick of converting everything to pounds even though you can do it in 5 seconds. Because its supposed to be kilos damn it!
45. You watch others at your gym squat the same thing you squat in kilos in pounds and only go a quarter of the way down. I mean who does that?
46. You have an ass...
47. You know what traps are and have a hell of a set
48.You cant find a pair of jeans in any normal shop to fit you because you can’t get them past your legs!
49. Benching has suddenly lost its appeal to you.
50. You can only shake your head when watching non-o-lifters do cleans in a gym.
51. You can ATG back squat what most people can leg press.
52. You work out everyday but never feel sore.
53. You have a broom stick without sweeper in your living room.
54. You only do bench presses when you have a leg injury.
55. You think it's a compliment if someone calls you a "jerk".
56. When somebody asks how your girlfriend's snatch is, you answer, "Not as good as her Clean".
57. Your non-lifting friends just assume you have a thing going for eastern european men
58. You look like an average gym goer in reverse: all legs and no arms or chest
59. Your warm-up looks like a ballet routine
60. You lift with an empty bar and still think you're hardcore
61. You keep track of your bodyweight to 3 decimal places, 3 times a day
62. Any time you miss a lift you know *exactly* why, and it's never simply because you're not strong enough.
63. After completing a full snatch in a commercial gym (before getting kicked out) someone asks, "What muscle does that work?" and you reply, "All of them."
64. You can run a 20 yard dash faster than any Olympic Track Athlete.
65. You're not American in any way.
66. You train at a weightlifting club. There are no cardio machines. There are no football players doing shitty power cleans that are really more of a back extension/ultra wide 1/16th front squat/reverse curl than they are a hip movement.
67. There is no one wearing basketball shoes (runners) in your gym.
68. Your clean and jerk routine does not involve your penis.
69. When you think maxing out is piece of cake compared to a regular workout.
70. If you do lower back work more than once a week
71. If training lower back and doing squats every workout is not "overtraining"
72. If you don't have a back injury from
Rows
Squats
Deads
73. If you believe a seat in a gym is for resting between sets rather than a place to do your set.
74. You chalk up before helping friends move
75. In a joke picture of buddies flexing, they're showing off their arms, but you're raising your shorts to show off your legs
76. "Cleans" or "Squats" is the answer to EVERY question when someone asks you what exercise to do.
77. If someone asks you how to increase their bench you say "why?"
78. You're less than 6 feet tall but can easily dunk a basketball...and you don't even like basketball.
78. Anytime you see PVC pipe/broomstick/etc long enough you overhead squat with it
79. Front squats solve EVERYTHING
80. You have palms like a lumber jack even if you live in the city
81. You stare blankly when someone asks what you can bench.
82. You can pronounce eastern bloc names in a perfect accent
83. (85% x 3)3, (90% x 2)3, (95% x 1)3 -- and other crazy # variations schemes make perfect sense to you.
84. You have notebooks filled with # schemes like that which leads your roommate to think that you are either
A) a terrorist
B) a mad scientist
C) the dude from "a beautiful mind"
85. When the length of time that it takes to change your shoes, warm-up, tape-up, and chalk-up is the same amount of time that some people finish an entire crappy half-squat workout.
86. An entry in your training log looks like this:
190
-----3
2
87. You’re more flexible than your female friends who do yoga...
88.You dislike curls.
89. You spend your entire workout doing 3 or 4 movements
90. You get pissed when you GAIN weight, pushing you out of your weight class
91. After your workout, you stretch next to the women and they get jealous of you
92. People wonder how the heck you can push press almost twice your bodyweight and have no biceps, or chest
93. You tell bodybuilders your weight and they reply "No way, (x upper body muscle) would be much bigger" having been trained to recognise weight by pectoral size, you then show them your legs and they go "oh, so that's where all the weight is at..."
Fadi.
1. All your movements are explosive.
2. You squat ass to grass and everybody asks you "WHY".
3. Powerlifters ask why you don’t use the "forearms crossed technique" on front squats.
4. If you do heavy squats and deadlifts powerlifters ask: why don't you use a belt?
5. When you do overhead-squats then suddenly everybody stops to glare at you and you see them practically count your reps.
6. You can clean a weight which 99% of gym goers can't even deadlift.
7. You can front squat more than 99% of what gym goers can back squat.
8. Powerlifters envy you for your shoulder flexibility.
9. You can jerk more than you bench-press.
10. You get done with a good workout and you've got bruises on your pelvis, thighs, or thumbs.
11. Power cages can be 'restrictive'.
12. You leave the ground with weights in your hands intentionally.
13. People talk about the bottom of a deadlift and mentally you correct them; "first pull".
14. You've ever had a problem with a bar that's 'too stiff'.
15. You have both decent squat poundages and a decent vertical no matter how much you weigh.
16. You think front squats are a great isolation exercise.
17. You're constantly jumping on the scales to make sure you're not gaining weight.
18. Your clavicles have calluses and your neck looks like you survived a hanging
19. You actually stretch before and after every training session, sometimes you just go to the gym to stretch
20. You workout what’s on the bar from the colour of the plates not how many there are.
21. Someone waving a flag in your face as you lift does not piss you off, unless its red
22. Your rest periods are usually less than 1 minute
23. You don’t train biceps or chest for fear of the muscles getting in the way of the bar
24. You feel comfortable wearing tights and shoes with a heel
25. You got to the Olympics for Weightlifting?!
26. Anything over a triple is a high-rep workout.
27. You are capable of instantly dividing or multiplying any weight by 2.2.
28. Your traps 'stand out like some alien parasite.'
29. You get bloody shins and you know that’s a good sign.
30. Your average training session takes over an hour and a half for 75 reps.
31. When you have a callous on the back of your neck from lowering push-presses.
32. Your quads are twice as big as your arms
33. Whenever you need to pick something up, you drop down into a perfect atg squat and grab it as you ride the bounce up, and then realize you're in a supermarket and quickly look around to see if anyone has noticed.
34. On the way back to the car, you hook grip your grocery bags
35. You can spend 45 minutes lifting, yet have a total time under tension of less than 90 seconds.
36. When people tell you how much they can bench, you immediately wonder if you can jerk that.
37. When people tell you how much they can deadlift, you immediately wonder if you can clean that.
38. You can say snatch or jerk with a straight face
39. Your idea of an awesome gym is a flat surface, rubber weights, and a metal bar.
40. When you hear the word 'snatch' the first thing you think of is the lift
41. You read crazy weightlifting books that are as confusing as a math textbook
42. You get excited when a new pair of weightlifting shoes comes out
43. You do insane squat programs that most think is impossible even with drugs
44. You are sick of converting everything to pounds even though you can do it in 5 seconds. Because its supposed to be kilos damn it!
45. You watch others at your gym squat the same thing you squat in kilos in pounds and only go a quarter of the way down. I mean who does that?
46. You have an ass...
47. You know what traps are and have a hell of a set
48.You cant find a pair of jeans in any normal shop to fit you because you can’t get them past your legs!
49. Benching has suddenly lost its appeal to you.
50. You can only shake your head when watching non-o-lifters do cleans in a gym.
51. You can ATG back squat what most people can leg press.
52. You work out everyday but never feel sore.
53. You have a broom stick without sweeper in your living room.
54. You only do bench presses when you have a leg injury.
55. You think it's a compliment if someone calls you a "jerk".
56. When somebody asks how your girlfriend's snatch is, you answer, "Not as good as her Clean".
57. Your non-lifting friends just assume you have a thing going for eastern european men
58. You look like an average gym goer in reverse: all legs and no arms or chest
59. Your warm-up looks like a ballet routine
60. You lift with an empty bar and still think you're hardcore
61. You keep track of your bodyweight to 3 decimal places, 3 times a day
62. Any time you miss a lift you know *exactly* why, and it's never simply because you're not strong enough.
63. After completing a full snatch in a commercial gym (before getting kicked out) someone asks, "What muscle does that work?" and you reply, "All of them."
64. You can run a 20 yard dash faster than any Olympic Track Athlete.
65. You're not American in any way.
66. You train at a weightlifting club. There are no cardio machines. There are no football players doing shitty power cleans that are really more of a back extension/ultra wide 1/16th front squat/reverse curl than they are a hip movement.
67. There is no one wearing basketball shoes (runners) in your gym.
68. Your clean and jerk routine does not involve your penis.
69. When you think maxing out is piece of cake compared to a regular workout.
70. If you do lower back work more than once a week
71. If training lower back and doing squats every workout is not "overtraining"
72. If you don't have a back injury from
Rows
Squats
Deads
73. If you believe a seat in a gym is for resting between sets rather than a place to do your set.
74. You chalk up before helping friends move
75. In a joke picture of buddies flexing, they're showing off their arms, but you're raising your shorts to show off your legs
76. "Cleans" or "Squats" is the answer to EVERY question when someone asks you what exercise to do.
77. If someone asks you how to increase their bench you say "why?"
78. You're less than 6 feet tall but can easily dunk a basketball...and you don't even like basketball.
78. Anytime you see PVC pipe/broomstick/etc long enough you overhead squat with it
79. Front squats solve EVERYTHING
80. You have palms like a lumber jack even if you live in the city
81. You stare blankly when someone asks what you can bench.
82. You can pronounce eastern bloc names in a perfect accent
83. (85% x 3)3, (90% x 2)3, (95% x 1)3 -- and other crazy # variations schemes make perfect sense to you.
84. You have notebooks filled with # schemes like that which leads your roommate to think that you are either
A) a terrorist
B) a mad scientist
C) the dude from "a beautiful mind"
85. When the length of time that it takes to change your shoes, warm-up, tape-up, and chalk-up is the same amount of time that some people finish an entire crappy half-squat workout.
86. An entry in your training log looks like this:
190
-----3
2
87. You’re more flexible than your female friends who do yoga...
88.You dislike curls.
89. You spend your entire workout doing 3 or 4 movements
90. You get pissed when you GAIN weight, pushing you out of your weight class
91. After your workout, you stretch next to the women and they get jealous of you
92. People wonder how the heck you can push press almost twice your bodyweight and have no biceps, or chest
93. You tell bodybuilders your weight and they reply "No way, (x upper body muscle) would be much bigger" having been trained to recognise weight by pectoral size, you then show them your legs and they go "oh, so that's where all the weight is at..."
Fadi.
Last edited:
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