mkj,
A lot of females are scared to lift weights because they think it will transform them into male beasts. The advantage females have is that they dont have high levels of testosterone, which is the hormone that gives the muscle growth.
So when females lift weights they tend to get toned. Thats why you see a lot of the fitness/ figure pros lifting weights and getting that aerobic instructor look rather than the chunky look. The females that are large and ripped take hormone supplements to get them the larger muscles. And that is why they have the male characteristics like courser hair and a moustache. ewwwwww
So I would hit the weights hard, because it will just build tone not size.
And by building muscles, your body will run at a higher level of metabolism which will burn calories quicker. More calories being consumed means more fat being burnt on a constant basis.
In terms of your eating, you are best to spread the meals. Workout what your optimum calorie intake is, and work backwards from there. So if your calorie intake is 2000 calories, you need to split this over 5-7 meals. So each meal would be 400 - 285 calories per meal. So cut your chicken and rice into smaller meals, or take a smaller protein shake more often.
Cutting back on food is dangerous because it will lower your metabolism and also increase the body's tendancy to store food leading to fat retention. To build muscles and therefore tone, your body needs to be running at top speed and maintained with a constant source of food.