i dont think you can define it - everyone has a different level of comfort with the behaviour of their spouse.
i am a wild flirt, dirty dancer, go out without my husband heaps, kiss girls. some people think its awesome, others get very upset at my non-wifely conduct. well fuck that. if my husband is cool with my behaviour, then thats all that matters.
personally, id be angry at physical stuff that went too far, i'd be devastated at emotional stuff that went too far.