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Everything is in place and nobody can stop us now

A Harp seal pup waddles into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll you have?"

Seal pup says, "Anything except Canadian Club on the rocks."

Haaaaa!!! I'm frikken hilarious.
 
Hey we turned this into a joke thread!

Wait. It started like that!!!



Haaaaaaaaahhhh!!!! I'm am so frikken hilarious I just pissed myself. Again.
 
Three men survive a plane crash into the ocean, a gay teacher, a lawyer and a priest.
while all three are swimming away from the wreckage, the gay teacher shouts, "quick, save the children!"
The lawyer yells back "fuck the children!"
And then the priest replies "Have we got time?"
 
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bar tender "I'll have a beer".

The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"

The duck says to the bartender "I'm a bricklayer working on the construction site just across the street".

And the bartender says, "Why are you laying bricks when you could be making millions working in the circus?"

And the duck says to the bartender "What do the circus want with a fucking bricklayer?"
 
Dracula walks into a bar, asks the bar tender for a mug of hot water. "dont you only drink blood?" the bar tender asks. Dracula whips out a used tampon, "im making tea"
 
Grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have drink named after you!"

The grasshopper says, "Why would you have a drink named Darren?"

Shaboomching. Yes, an oldie but a goodie.
 
Five ISIL terrorists walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?"

The ISIL terrorists say, "Nothing. We don't drink alcohol."


Haaaaaaaaaa!!!! It's funny cos its true!!



 
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