Hard to say when we're talking about including incidental activity. If you're gaining too quick, you're probably eating too much. If your diet is good, can't point the finger at that. It's a simple case of eating too many calories. If you want a scientific equation, try the schofield equation. Remember it's not fool proof and there's always a margin of error when using equations. I wouldn't be too concerned with a perfect caloric intake unless you're competing in a BB comp.
Anyhow, as you've mentioned, you're going to gain a little unwanted body fat when gaining strength and size. How much you gain is how many calories you're eating.
The most ludicrous shit i've seen in my many years of training is guys eating 1000-1500 over what they're meant too, gain too much, then cut calories way too hard when trying to lean out.
It comes down to goals, are yours clear cut and defined? Do you want strength and size no matter what? If so, 3000-3500 is probably the way to go. If you want to lean out, you'll have to drop them and stick with lean meats and vegies.
My plan of attack would be:
Gain as much strength and size as I wanted (and was happy with), eating clean and not stressing too much about carrying a little extra. Then work through a phase after that (still lifting heavy) of dropping the caloric intake if you wanted to lean out a little.
Gaining strength/size and leaning out simultaneously are quite a juxtaposition, and usually only occur in beginners. So I guess to reiterate.. what are your top priorities training wise at the moment?
Cheers,
Sam