I would like to formally announce that I am now an expert in the following sports, but have never done much more than watch or have a go in the back yard (in order of difficulty):
Cricket.
AFL
NRL
Gridiron
Formula 1
Moto GP
Soccer
Chess
Checkers
Swimming
I will be offering advice to fed presidents, lobbying for change and rule additions, stirring up shit and forcing all owners and/or managers of all sporting grounds to be members of all sports played in/on their facilities, despite that not being a rule with any sporting federation. Any.
Please note that I have no practical experience at all in all of the above sports but that shouldn't be a problem as I think I know everything.