pick up lines u have heard used on you

[TrentZor]

- Well for myself -

Fat chick *points at my arms*
ceffo - whats up?
Fat chick - You have my heart in your hands
ceffo - cringing inside

*ceffo walks into tarocash*
scantily clad female attendant - Hi there can i help you?
ceffo - sure i would like to try on that t-shirt
scantily clad female attendant - Sure its over here
ceffo - Starts to change
Suddenly the change room door opens
scantily clad female attendant - Sorry i didnt know there was somebody in here while still staring at me half naked
ceffo - yeah its ok
scantily clad female attendant - goes red and still standing there blushing a good 3 min before closing the door
scantily clad female attendant - wouldnt look me in the eye at the counter


girl dressed i mini-skirt and Fck-boots at club
Girl - Hi do u have a smoke?
ceffo - looks around and sees 10 other girls staring at her who also are smoking and would obvisously have a lighter
ceffo - Sorry i dont smoke im just out here with my mates
Girl - ok np
ceffo - Prob should pick up smoking LOL


yer im egotistical and not modest but meh.. this shit happens and why should women have all the fun of getting picked up?
I work hard for the body so as they say "if u got it flaunt it"

 

[dave]

Funny shit man really like the tarocash one thats great. When I used to go to clubs back in the day (8 years ago) I used to get girls grabbing my ass as they walked by, I FELT DIRTY!

 

[TrentZor]

Funny shit man really like the tarocash one thats great. When I used to go to clubs back in the day (8 years ago) I used to get girls grabbing my ass as they walked by, I FELT DIRTY!

Yeah i agree.. I felt like a dirty tramp at the clubs.. some used to grab the ass/arms and then wink at ya afterwards..

Once had a girl just walk up ran her fingers up and down the biceps.. hahaha..

Memories of when i was young .. arrhhhhhh...

 

[Ben]

Opportunity not taken at Tarocash Ceff???????

 

[TrentZor]

Opportunity not taken at Tarocash Ceff???????

Nah didnt.. was seeing someone at the time. I have this thing about "cheating". Believe it or not i do belive in karma.

I reckon its officially over once u say "this isnt going to work out" or "i stopped love you" and then u can pretty much see other people In my opinion then its not classified as "cheating" ..

 

[Admin]

so you free tonight , or will it cost me
used it on my gf , was waiting for a slap but she gave me that blank look and a laughed ,and here we are been dating for awhile now

 

[Dancelot]

They tend to shove their boobs in my chest or back, or beaver-clamp my leg (while dancing in close) and that's enough of a hint for me.

One I could recall asked me at a pub near work if we've met before, that she's seen me around here and if I come here often. For some stupid reason, that day my mind was all blank that I couldn't detect such cheesy lines and thought she was asking me for real. Opportunity missed on that one. Too bad, you rarely run into such a cute girl doing PhD in Maths.

 

[TrentZor]

yeah usually the fat chicks with extra cleavage do the boob press on your back and the club/bar isnt even PACKED!!

never heard the beaver clamp before LOL.. I love it..

 

[Shrek]

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pant

Me - Do you like short love affairs? Do you like short love affairs?
Girl - I hate them
Me - Good, I've got all weekend.

 

[Shrek]

Best of all time:

I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?

 

[Dancelot]

never heard the beaver clamp before LOL.. I love it..

IME, it's a trademark cougar move.

 

[JDizzle]

heres a few from my night driving cab days, you have to be pretty much gay to not get laid driving cabs at night lol. My mate who weighs like 150kg recently got blown by a hot chick while he was driving her home. Then he scammed her the full fare (she wanted a discount and thought she got one but didnt)

Drunk Girl: can i have your number
JDizzle: yes but it will cost you an extra $10
Drunk Girl: ok (actually gives me the 10 but dosnt ring)

Girl with her friends: can i have your number
JDizzle: No
Girl with her friends: ..oh (her friends laugh at her)
girl with friends: do you want to come out with us then?
JDizzle: No
Girl with friends: ..oh (obviously not used to being rejected)

2 girls
Girl#1: We need a good lookin guy like you to walk us into the pub
JDizzle: ill have to leave the meter running and charge you
Girl#2: come on! We'll buy you drinks
JDizzle: Pro drivers are 0.02 bac
Girl#2: awww comeon. Hey do we get a discount if i give you a blowjob?
JDizzle: i might knock a few cents off.

horny drunk girl (plenty of these to go around)
Girl: (pulls off her top, is naked from waste up and rests her legs on my lap while im driving, she has her friends in the back who dont care/notice)
JDizzle: You dirty slut
Girl: thats me, heres my phone number (i ring it the following day but of course she dosnt remember a thing)


horny woman in her 40s
Woman: your really good looking and your a redhead too
JDizzle: thats right
Woman: pullover and lets have a chat
JDizzle: how about we keep driving, the meter goes up faster that way
Woman: ah come on!

Ugly feral looking horny woman in her 40s (plenty of these around)
Woman: you know, i find alot of my son's friends quite attractive, they are about your age
JDizzle: lol here we go
Woman: I could teach you a few things
JDizzle: i bet you could
(no, didnt go through with that one)

2 girls age 27-30 and one of them has a brother with them, all filthy frunk
Girl#1: hey your really good lookin!
JDizzle: yeah i know
Girl#2: give him a blowjob!
Girl#1: (actually thinks about it) nah, i have a mental block my brother is in the back
JDizzle: (damn, a story about getting some girl to blow me while driving her home would of been a good story)
At end of trip i make out with both girls, but the guy gets pissed because i had made out with his sistor and the girl he was probably trying to pick up, so he chases my cab down the street. Got the fare plus a $20 tip too lol


hard to believe some of those i know

 

[Ben]

For a little education on the beaver clamp, watch Superbad....

 

[NPR]

heres a few from my night driving cab days, you have to be pretty much gay to not get laid driving cabs at night lol. My mate who weighs like 150kg recently got blown by a hot chick while he was driving her home. Then he scammed her the full fare (she wanted a discount and thought she got one but didnt)

Drunk Girl: can i have your number
JDizzle: yes but it will cost you an extra $10
Drunk Girl: ok (actually gives me the 10 but dosnt ring)

Girl with her friends: can i have your number
JDizzle: No
Girl with her friends: ..oh (her friends laugh at her)
girl with friends: do you want to come out with us then?
JDizzle: No
Girl with friends: ..oh (obviously not used to being rejected)

2 girls
Girl#1: We need a good lookin guy like you to walk us into the pub
JDizzle: ill have to leave the meter running and charge you
Girl#2: come on! We'll buy you drinks
JDizzle: Pro drivers are 0.02 bac
Girl#2: awww comeon. Hey do we get a discount if i give you a blowjob?
JDizzle: i might knock a few cents off.

horny drunk girl (plenty of these to go around)
Girl: (pulls off her top, is naked from waste up and rests her legs on my lap while im driving, she has her friends in the back who dont care/notice)
JDizzle: You dirty slut
Girl: thats me, heres my phone number (i ring it the following day but of course she dosnt remember a thing)


horny woman in her 40s
Woman: your really good looking and your a redhead too
JDizzle: thats right
Woman: pullover and lets have a chat
JDizzle: how about we keep driving, the meter goes up faster that way
Woman: ah come on!

Ugly feral looking horny woman in her 40s (plenty of these around)
Woman: you know, i find alot of my son's friends quite attractive, they are about your age
JDizzle: lol here we go
Woman: I could teach you a few things
JDizzle: i bet you could
(no, didnt go through with that one)

2 girls age 27-30 and one of them has a brother with them, all filthy frunk
Girl#1: hey your really good lookin!
JDizzle: yeah i know
Girl#2: give him a blowjob!
Girl#1: (actually thinks about it) nah, i have a mental block my brother is in the back
JDizzle: (damn, a story about getting some girl to blow me while driving her home would of been a good story)
At end of trip i make out with both girls, but the guy gets pissed because i had made out with his sistor and the girl he was probably trying to pick up, so he chases my cab down the street. Got the fare plus a $20 tip too lol


hard to believe some of those i know

Pissed myself laughing!!!

Also considerig driving a cab now...........

 

[MikeW]

Had a couple of interesting ones. Remember one time in a club when a cute girl seated on a barstool with her girlfriend behind me put her foot up between my legs and gave the gear a rub with her toes. I turned around gave her a nice smila and just said I'm here with my girlfriend (who was in the toilet at the time). She just laughed and said she didn't care and still wanted to shag me.

Another time I was flying back to Sydney from Melbourne with work and this hot little tight number was in the window seat beside me. I struck up a conversation and we got a bit dirty. She then showed me a naked sketch of herself which one of her "friends" she'd just stayed with in Melbourne had drawn of her which she absolutely loved. Tiny tits but great curves and a neat little welcome mat. She was a yank flying back to the US that night via Sydney. I started thinking about how I could get her to overnight at my Sydney pad and that's where my head was when I missed the most obvious line of all time. She said "I'm just going to the toilet, do you want to join me?" Me: "Nah thanks, I'm fine" trying to be cool and relaxed meanwhile mentally running lines for when we get off the plane. Problem was I should have got off "on" the plane... Missed it and will never get that opportunity again. Still haven't joined the mile high club! lol.

Cheers,
Mike

 

[TrentZor]

man how people do shit in the plane toilets is past me.. so freaken tight.. Im sure some of you much bigger units wouldnt barely fit in there let alone another chick..

 

[Gauche]

You dont sweat much for a fat chick

 

[Fenrir]

I just shit my pants, can I get into yours?

 

[NPR]

man how people do shit in the plane toilets is past me.. so freaken tight.. Im sure some of you much bigger units wouldnt barely fit in there let alone another chick..

Me and the missus considered in once recently. But me at 6"2' 110kg and her at 5"9' mid 60s we had no f**king chance.

 

[TrentZor]

only way i can see is put your chick sitting on teh basin lages hanging off and you straddle her but then again that would be pretty uncomfortable..

Does first class get bigger toilets? anyone confirm?