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Office Arse: Is there a Cure?

litebulb

New member
'Evening All,

As some of you know by now, I am built like an absolute bean pole, and I almost disappear when I stand in profile.

One thing that doesn't disappear, and as embarrassing a confession as this is to make, is my arse.

To say it is "big" is an understatement. If I was a female, it would be a "badonkadonk". Big. Round. Jiggly.

I'm 6 foot, and 74kg...lean-ish ALL OVER, but I have a jiggly mass hanging out the back of me. The only excuses I can think of are genetics, biomechanical alignment of my legs, and sitting on it for most of the day (office job). I am inclined to say that it might be a postural / biomechanical issue, as I also have very small calves and hamstrings (which I'm working on!) I'll be going to a podiatrist very soon to get some orthotics, which will apparently go a long way to fixing an postural problems.

Is there a cure to "office arse"? Say, if I did a LOT of unweighted squats / lunges, low-weight presses etc, can I target the fat in my rear? Or will this just target body fat in general?

Any suggestions would be helpful :S
 
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To a degree, this will be lack of muscle mass in your gluteus maximus - your arse muscle.

Just as when you build the biceps up, they grow and become pointier than they were, so too with your glutes.

Squats, lunges, deadlifts, box jumps, running up stairs, all these kinds of movements will act to build up your glute strength and size. And when your glutes push back they will reduce the spread effect.

As you say, it's very common in office workers, and common generally - when you sit all day, your front thigh (quads) becomes strong from moving your legs around, but your back thigh (hamstrings) and arse (glutes) become weak. Their weakness your lower back tries to make up for, which is why so many people have sore lower backs.

And no bums :)
 
To a degree, this will be lack of muscle mass in your gluteus maximus - your arse muscle.

Just as when you build the biceps up, they grow and become pointier than they were, so too with your glutes.

Squats, lunges, deadlifts, box jumps, running up stairs, all these kinds of movements will act to build up your glute strength and size. And when your glutes push back they will reduce the spread effect.

As you say, it's very common in office workers, and common generally - when you sit all day, your front thigh (quads) becomes strong from moving your legs around, but your back thigh (hamstrings) and arse (glutes) become weak. Their weakness your lower back tries to make up for, which is why so many people have sore lower backs.

And no bums :)

I currently do one leg workout a week (3x6 Squats, 3x6 leg press, 3x6 leg extensions, 3x6 hamstring curls, 5x15 calf raises - I do one warm-up set for each exercise, then go my max weight for 6 reps...not even sure if that's a good way for a bean pole to train...but I've heard high-weight / low-rep is the way to go for me at this stage).

Would it serve any useful purpose to do 2 leg work-outs a week? i.e. Once on Tuesday, and once on Saturday?
 
Is there a cure to "office arse"? Say, if I did a LOT of unweighted squats / lunges, low-weight presses etc, can I target the fat in my rear? Or will this just target body fat in general?

Hello litebulb,

Your style of writing made me crack up! "Big... round... jiggly..." I can certainly sympathise with you here, as I also work in an office which means sitting on my bum 8 hrs a day.

Sorry, but HEAVY squats are going to be required here.
 
HEAVY squats are going to be required here.

I think heavy squats are the answer to 90% of questions here.. :)
Can we build an auto-response in this forum for everyone that opens a new thread with a question, it responds: "Just squat,, and shut the hell up!!!"


"How do I lose weight?" - "Just squat,, and shut the hell up!!!"
"How do I tone up?" - "Just squat,, and shut the hell up!!!"
"How do I bulk up?" - "Just squat,, and shut the hell up!!!"
"What should I eat?" - "Just squat,, and shut the hell up!!!"
"What footwear do you recommend for lifting?" - "Just squat,, and shut the hell up!!!"
"I injured my knee, and it's in a cast, what do I do?" - "Just squat,, and shut the hell up!!!"
"My girlfriend just dumped me" - "Just squat,, and shut the hell up!!!"


:D
 
If you're 6" weighing 74kg with a soft jiggly arse you are skinny fat. Which means a skinny guy with a fair amount of fat, most of which is concerntrated in your arse. People hold fat in different areas depending on genetics, sounds like you just hold it in your arse.

Unfortunately just squats are not going to get rid of the junk in your trunk. You will also need to lose bodyfat.

Get on a full body weight program, train 2-3 times a week with serious effort and clean up your diet. You should be able to put on muscle and lose fat without too much drama.

Here is a basic full body workout

Squats 2 x 20
Overhead press 3 x 10
Bent over rowing 3 x 10
Bench press 3 x 10
Stiff leg deadlifts 3 x 15
BB curl 3 x 10
Dips 3 x 10

Do that 2-3 times a week, eat clean, cut out the booze and your arse will disappear.
 
The short version of this is that I recommend as a workout,

Three days a week
Warmup, 5-10 minutes on treadmill/bike until sweat appears
Squats, 5x 5
Overhead press, 5x 5
Rows, 5x 5
Deadlift, 5x 5
Stretches

on the lifts, it's ascending from half top weight in the first set to top weight in the last; each rep done slowly and with good form; 1-2 minutes rest between sets. Begin with just the bar for weight.

Three days a week, alternating with above
20 minutes jog, or 30 minutes brisk walk or cycle

Do whole routine for 12 weeks, then have a week off for rest and assessment of results and any new goals.


The long version is below :) Sorry it's so long, but I find that if people understand the reasons for doing something one way, they're more likely to stick with it.

At what stage of training are you? Doing several exercises for the same bodypart, and doing splits, is only really indicated for intermediate or advanced trainees - more than 12 months of solid training, 12 months in which you were able to manage,

Leg strength - Squats, lifting 1.5x bodyweight for reps, and Deadlifts, 1.75x BW
Chest/shoulder strength - Bench, 1x BW, and Overhead press, 0.75x BW
Back strength - Bent-over barbell rows, 1x BW, and Chin-ups, 3x 15-20

that sort of thing. The tone of your posts, it doesn't sound like you've managed that yet - sorry if I'm wrong, the rest of this assumes you're a beginner.

Until you can manage lifts like that, you're best served by a full-body workout three times a week. Not a split workout, because as a beginner you just can't work your muscles with enough intensity that they need a whole week to recover. 48 hours' recovery's enough. So work your whole body three times a week with a day off in between, like Mon/Wed/Fri.

You can do that in three exercises, one each from the pairs above. Just alternate those pairs of exercises - though if you chose just one from each pair and did just those three for three months, it would not be a bad thing.

If you have one particular area you want to focus on, then instead of three exercises do four, with the extra in that area. So in your case, you're interested in bum and legs, so you could do,

Squats
Overhead press
Rows
Deadlift

One exercise for chest/shoulders, two for back and two for legs.

Squats and deadlifts work the legs and bum.

I chose overhead press rather than bench press because if you're an office worker, probably you have slightly rounded shoulders, too. That's from all that leaning over the desk all day. Doing lots of work on a muscle tightens it - and you don't want tightened chest muscles, that'll just drag your shoulders further forwards. The overhead press works your shoulders, and your pecs only a little bit.

In truth the deadlift is a back exercise as well as a leg exercise, so two for the back. Strengthening the back is always good, but especially for an office worker, since it gets so little work during the day, and it's very common that it's sore or stiff.

As for sets and reps, as a beginner the most important thing is simply consistency. At this stage you're just learning the movements and your body is getting used to working out. The adaptations are neural more than physical.

Looking at another sport, I have got bigger muscles than Ricky Ponting, but he can throw a cricket ball faster and more accurately than me. He knows how to apply his strength to best effect. Likewise, I can lift heavier weight than him because when it comes to barbells, I know better how to apply my strength to best effect. I've learned the movements - though still have much more to learn.

For the reasons in this article, I recommend 5 sets of 5 reps ascending, with the first set being half the weight of the top set. For example, your squat might look like,

5x 20kg (ie just the bar), 5x 25kg, 5x 30kg, 5x 35kg, 5x 40kg

If you can make all 5 reps on all 5 sets, then in your next session add 2.5kg (1.25kg is usually the smallest plate a gym has, so 2x 1.25kg is the least you can add). And so on. If you fall short one session, can't manage all 5 reps, that's okay - try again next time.

If the second time you can't manage it, then add another set to make up the reps. For example, if you managed,

5x 20kg, 5x 25kg, 5x 30kg, 4x 35kg, 3x 40kg

then you're 3 reps short in all, so you do 3x 40kg

If the third workout on this weight you stall again, make the reps up as in the second workout, then in the fourth workout deload - take 5kg off and start the cycle again - it's like parallel parking, if you can't get in, you pull out and come in again at another angle.

Start the weight low. Start with the bar, in fact. It seems too light, that's okay - over 12 weeks you'd have 36 weights workouts, add 2.5kg each time and you go from 20 to 110kg. Probably with stalls slowing the pace of increase you'll make less on the overhead press and rows, but might make it on the squats and almost certainly on the deadlifts.

The cardio you have on other days is just enough to sustain your lifting - helps recovery between sets, and recovery between workouts.

Do the routine for 12 weeks, then have a week off with no workouts at all and reassess.
 
my arse sticks out heaps too, my girlfriend calls me "bubblebutt". theres no chance of changing its shape as theres no real fat on it anyway, just genetic i guess. if you reduce the fat and it still sticks out then i'd say your stuck with it.

....maybe try and get a bit in a Snoop Dogg video and make some money offa that thang :cool:
 
The short version of this is that I recommend as a workout,

Three days a week
Warmup, 5-10 minutes on treadmill/bike until sweat appears
Squats, 5x 5
Overhead press, 5x 5
Rows, 5x 5
Deadlift, 5x 5
Stretches

on the lifts, it's ascending from half top weight in the first set to top weight in the last; each rep done slowly and with good form; 1-2 minutes rest between sets. Begin with just the bar for weight.

Three days a week, alternating with above
20 minutes jog, or 30 minutes brisk walk or cycle

Do whole routine for 12 weeks, then have a week off for rest and assessment of results and any new goals.


...

Do the routine for 12 weeks, then have a week off with no workouts at all and reassess.

Kyle, thanks a lot for the detailed response! Was very interesting reading.

Kyle, the routine you suggested sounds very similar to Rippetoe...I did that for quite a while, and I'm squatting close to 100kg nowadays thanks to that program...I just happen to have a really "healthy" arse that won't go away. I've gained a LOT of strength in the gym, and can manipulate my bodyweight quite easily (pull-ups, chin-ups, push-ups, bar-dips, you name it).

My BF% isn't too high; I'm not too badly defined, and can see my abs. I haven't done a caliper test, but based on "seeing abs", BF% wouldn't be too much higher than 12-14%. I'd say that I'd be on the upper end of that range.

I'll post some pictures later on tonite on the members pics section....
 
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the routine you suggested sounds very similar to Rippetoe...
Yep, which comes from Reg Park and all the old-time, pre-roid lifters. It's simple and it works.

I did that for quite a while, and I'm squatting close to 100kg nowadays thanks to that program...
So why did you stop? If a programme is still giving you results, keep going!

Anyway, how much can you deadlift? That hits your arse pretty hard. I mean, if the squats aren't giving you the results you want...

It can change shape over time, your bum. I used to have one that stuck out embarrassingly - well, some women liked it, but it embarrassed me. Came from all the running I did, I wasn't ever strong in legs. Beginning of the year, it was flat again. Now it's coming out a bit, but it takes a while.
 
I have a J-Lo ass from squatting ATG. My partner is always giving me a hard time about it. She likes it though.
 
Yep, which comes from Reg Park and all the old-time, pre-roid lifters. It's simple and it works.


So why did you stop? If a programme is still giving you results, keep going!

Anyway, how much can you deadlift? That hits your arse pretty hard. I mean, if the squats aren't giving you the results you want...

It can change shape over time, your bum. I used to have one that stuck out embarrassingly - well, some women liked it, but it embarrassed me. Came from all the running I did, I wasn't ever strong in legs. Beginning of the year, it was flat again. Now it's coming out a bit, but it takes a while.

I stopped because I felt like I needed something a little bit different, was also getting a bit bored of the repetitive routines (bench, squats, deads, then power cleans, military presses, squats, every other day). After a few months of training, I'll probably go back to doing a program similar to ripptoe later on. With ripptoe, I just seemed to be gaining lower body strength, and nothing "up top". I was doing Rippetoe without a training buddy, and I find it hard to convince people to sign up to Rippetoe with me...

Now that I have a training buddy, I'm training differently, but I have an additional source of motivation.

I deadlift 120kg, before my forearms give out...no problems with the legs / hammies / glutes.
 
On a further note, I might just have "image" issues with it...for all I know it's probably normal, but I just don't particularly like how it is...
 
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