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We hardly ever fought. She and I just had a great connection.
That's the first sign of bad things to come. "We hardly ever fought", could be interpreted as "we hardly knew each other" in my book.

Unfortunately, however, I started a new job in emergency services last year and the five month training was brutal. I was stressed and anxious most of the time. She noticed this and just reasoned to herself that I was just being this way because it was actually stressful and it would come to an end when I started the job for real. It didnt. She quickly worked out that I was anxiety ridden, stressed and generally on a 'downer' most of the time.
So what's the big deal here? You're not Mr. Perfect, and the sooner this woman realises that Mr. Perfects do not exist the better it would be for her (her loss not yours here). You found an aspect to your personality that you recognise as needing some improvement and you've acknowledge that, which is a journey half way travelled already. Many don't even acknowledge they have an issue, you're not one of those. Pat yourself on the back and feel great about doing so.

When I came home from work in September/October 2015 she told me that she didnt think it was going to work between us because she and I are too different.
And since when does similarities between the parties guaranteed a long and successful relationship? Again, this is her problem and not yours, she's the one being a half empty glass, taking advantage of your anxiety to build up her own low self-esteem...don't fall for it.

When I got home she said she was breaking up with me because it was the only way I would ever learn.
She can go and jump off a bridge with that type of chauvinistic attitude. Just as well she broke it off, she simply doesn't deserve you (and she knows it). She was simply feeding off of your pain to feed her own smashed ego. A 40 year old man does not get told that he's going to be taught a lesson by a woman. Find yourself someone who loves you and appreciates you for who you are, and someone who can prove their love to you by being patient and supportive when you're feeling down, as we all feel down and need some sort of support from a loved one at some stage in our relationship. This woman sounds/seems way too immature for my liking. Has she ever had children?

It may seem sudden but in reality this has been an issue for months. I just didnt fix it.
If the issue has been acknowledged by you and you're willing to work on it for the better, what part is she playing to prove her "loving commitment" to you? That's right..., a big fat zero! Which again tells me that you're better off without her.

I regret this so much because I feel like (for now) I've lost the love of my life. She means everything to me.
Wrong, you... better mean everything to you first (if you do not have kids yet), because you certainly do not want to be with someone who believes that roses come perfect without their thorns! It seems to me that she belongs to a group who enjoys the beauty and the fragrance of a majestic rose, yet shy away from its thorn, as if that has ever made a glorious rose complete. It never has and it never will.

In terms of screaming and really ugly behaviour. Couldn't be more different here. Lots of love and mutual respect.
Yes I can clearly see that, so why aren't you still together then? Simple, because in reality it is not like you are seeing it (yet describing it). Let me give you a piece of advice if I may. A relationship..., make that a solid relationship, is built upon pillars of Love Respect Trust. Take one of those pillars away and your whole dream would initially become shaky (instead of solid), and if not attended to, would eventually fall down, like it should. In the trunk of Love, there are deep roots, and if that love is true love, then (and only then) you would see branches spring out carrying with them healthy green leaves; the leaves of patience, the leaves of encouragement, the leaves of appreciation, the leaves of .....
 
That's the first sign of bad things to come. "We hardly ever fought", could be interpreted as "we hardly knew each other" in my book.

So what's the big deal here? You're not Mr. Perfect, and the sooner this woman realises that Mr. Perfects do not exist the better it would be for her (her loss not yours here). You found an aspect to your personality that you recognise as needing some improvement and you've acknowledge that, which is a journey half way travelled already. Many don't even acknowledge they have an issue, you're not one of those. Pat yourself on the back and feel great about doing so.

And since when does similarities between the parties guaranteed a long and successful relationship? Again, this is her problem and not yours, she's the one being a half empty glass, taking advantage of your anxiety to build up her own low self-esteem...don't fall for it.

She can go and jump off a bridge with that type of chauvinistic attitude. Just as well she broke it off, she simply doesn't deserve you (and she knows it). She was simply feeding off of your pain to feed her own smashed ego. A 40 year old man does not get told that he's going to be taught a lesson by a woman. Find yourself someone who loves you and appreciates you for who you are, and someone who can prove their love to you by being patient and supportive when you're feeling down, as we all feel down and need some sort of support from a loved one at some stage in our relationship. This woman sounds/seems way too immature for my liking. Has she ever had children?

If the issue has been acknowledged by you and you're willing to work on it for the better, what part is she playing to prove her "loving commitment" to you? That's right..., a big fat zero! Which again tells me that you're better off without her.

Wrong, you... better mean everything to you first (if you do not have kids yet), because you certainly do not want to be with someone who believes that roses come perfect without their thorns! It seems to me that she belongs to a group who enjoys the beauty and the fragrance of a majestic rose, yet shy away from its thorn, as if that has ever made a glorious rose complete. It never has and it never will.

Yes I can clearly see that, so why aren't you still together then? Simple, because in reality it is not like you are seeing it (yet describing it). Let me give you a piece of advice if I may. A relationship..., make that a solid relationship, is built upon pillars of Love Respect Trust. Take one of those pillars away and your whole dream would initially become shaky (instead of solid), and if not attended to, would eventually fall down, like it should. In the trunk of Love, there are deep roots, and if that love is true love, then (and only then) you would see branches spring out carrying with them healthy green leaves; the leaves of patience, the leaves of encouragement, the leaves of appreciation, the leaves of .....


great post.
 
You bumped your own thread 4 or so hours after starting it? What do you want us to say mate? Are you looking for sympathy or someone to say it's all going to be ok? You're on a bodybuilding forum, not a stay at home mum's forum.... Move on.

well its obviously one of the few places he can turn to for help, from people who have similar interests to his own. bit harsh mate.
 
well its obviously one of the few places he can turn to for help, from people who have similar interests to his own. bit harsh mate.
I'm not here to sugar coat things. We told him 12-18 months ago not to dive in to another relationship. He had all sorts of trust issues about it from the beginning. TBH, I'm surprised it even lasted this long. Sounds to me like they'd make a good pair of friends but aren't cut out to be partners
 
From experience on the other end, you will likely not change anything by asking if she really wants this or by telling her how much you miss her etc
My ex and I might have gotten back together if she had just given me some space and not made me feel shit every day by saying the same stuff. I loved her, I just needed to get my head straight and I never got the chance.
 
why are you being a miserable, stressed out bitch if you've got the job you always wanted, and had the girl of your dreams???
 
Just thinking out loud here I hope you don't get offended
Do you have 'mixed emotions' about the same sex?
 
sorry to hear dude.
The sun still comes up tomorrow. You seem like a good bloke, use this time to get on with parts of your life you missed out on when with the mrs. Go for a few runs, flirt with the girls at work, have some fun.
We've all been thru it, it sux, but life goes on and I know its a cliche, but time does heal everything. One day you'll look back and think 'what the fuck was i worried about?'.
I went thru it with my first GF, now Ive been married 10 years to my wife and still love her just as much as ever. Which also proves, theres more than just one out there for everyone!
 
why are you being a miserable, stressed out bitch if you've got the job you always wanted, and had the girl of your dreams???

some people are never happy? Not being cheeky about JMC, but with some people they always want more, no matter how good it looks to people on the outside. Just what Im thinking mate!
 
That's the first sign of bad things to come. "We hardly ever fought", could be interpreted as "we hardly knew each other" in my book.

So what's the big deal here? You're not Mr. Perfect, and the sooner this woman realises that Mr. Perfects do not exist the better it would be for her (her loss not yours here). You found an aspect to your personality that you recognise as needing some improvement and you've acknowledge that, which is a journey half way travelled already. Many don't even acknowledge they have an issue, you're not one of those. Pat yourself on the back and feel great about doing so.

And since when does similarities between the parties guaranteed a long and successful relationship? Again, this is her problem and not yours, she's the one being a half empty glass, taking advantage of your anxiety to build up her own low self-esteem...don't fall for it.

She can go and jump off a bridge with that type of chauvinistic attitude. Just as well she broke it off, she simply doesn't deserve you (and she knows it). She was simply feeding off of your pain to feed her own smashed ego. A 40 year old man does not get told that he's going to be taught a lesson by a woman. Find yourself someone who loves you and appreciates you for who you are, and someone who can prove their love to you by being patient and supportive when you're feeling down, as we all feel down and need some sort of support from a loved one at some stage in our relationship. This woman sounds/seems way too immature for my liking. Has she ever had children?

If the issue has been acknowledged by you and you're willing to work on it for the better, what part is she playing to prove her "loving commitment" to you? That's right..., a big fat zero! Which again tells me that you're better off without her.

Wrong, you... better mean everything to you first (if you do not have kids yet), because you certainly do not want to be with someone who believes that roses come perfect without their thorns! It seems to me that she belongs to a group who enjoys the beauty and the fragrance of a majestic rose, yet shy away from its thorn, as if that has ever made a glorious rose complete. It never has and it never will.

Yes I can clearly see that, so why aren't you still together then? Simple, because in reality it is not like you are seeing it (yet describing it). Let me give you a piece of advice if I may. A relationship..., make that a solid relationship, is built upon pillars of Love Respect Trust. Take one of those pillars away and your whole dream would initially become shaky (instead of solid), and if not attended to, would eventually fall down, like it should. In the trunk of Love, there are deep roots, and if that love is true love, then (and only then) you would see branches spring out carrying with them healthy green leaves; the leaves of patience, the leaves of encouragement, the leaves of appreciation, the leaves of .....

hey fadi, thanks for your message in here. I understand where you're coming from but to provide some clarity around my situation, I've basically been coming home and dumping all my s*** and problems on her for A LONG time. I'm only just seeing it now. I dont think it's fair to ask that of anyone. Everyone has their limits and she tried for months to make me more positive and see the silver lining but I just couldnt get there. I dont think she's after the PERFECT man. She loved me (and still does apparently) but she cant live with me while I'm behaving this way. The thing is (and I said this to her the other night): I WANT to change, be more positive and stop complaining about what's 'wrong' in my life... and further to that, I dont want to be with the type of person who would accept those qualities in me (if that makes sense)
 
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