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The last two evenings, she and I have just sat on the couch and talked in depth. She said she still loves me and really hopes that I can change for the better (see above). She came home last night in farily good spirits (despite being locked out for two hours until I got home) and said she spoke with the psychologist earlier in the day. The psych said that she believed the relationship could be saved. She also said that we had 1. moved in together too quickly. 2. got engaged too soon; and 3. should not have moved into her place but a new place / somewhere we both owned or rented together. I then told her that I think waiting until August to talk/see each other was a bad idea as the spark may have gone by then. I said I wanted to give her a call in a couple weeks and maybe catch up for a quick coffee and just chat about how things are going. I'm not going to smother her, but I do want to see her once every 2-3 weeks. If I feel like it's pushing her away then I'll back off, but last night gave me a little hope that maybe there is future for her and I. I move out tonight.
 
hey fadi, thanks for your message in here. I understand where you're coming from but to provide some clarity around my situation, I've basically been coming home and dumping all my s*** and problems on her for A LONG time. I'm only just seeing it now. I dont think it's fair to ask that of anyone. Everyone has their limits and she tried for months to make me more positive and see the silver lining but I just couldnt get there. I dont think she's after the PERFECT man. She loved me (and still does apparently) but she cant live with me while I'm behaving this way. The thing is (and I said this to her the other night): I WANT to change, be more positive and stop complaining about what's 'wrong' in my life... and further to that, I dont want to be with the type of person who would accept those qualities in me (if that makes sense)
OK, time for you to get inside of my head and see things from my point of view based on what you've been sharing with us so far. I am seriously seeing one side of the coin here, and I am told hey don't worry about the other side of the coin, it's just perfect! It seems that you have convinced yourself that you are the only one with a problem here, and once that problem has been taken care of, all would be hunky dory. Well my experience tells me to tell you otherwise, hence I told you earlier not to fall for it. You seriously need to comprehend the true meaning of what the word PARTNERSHIP means. It does not mean I take full blame for the sinking of the ship, it does not mean I ought to solve my own problems all by myself without my partner's standing by me and seeing me through my most difficult times.

Perhaps all the above sound a bit gibberish to you and perhaps not. Let me clarify by bringing in some sport analogies for you. Steroids, do they or do they not work? They work, no one can deny that. Do they work without training or would you have to train? They work without training, but they produce a more spectacular result if one did train and watched what they ate. Here's a question for you to reflect upon: would you only train hard and eat properly when you're on a steroid cycle, or would you put in the effort irrespective whether you're taking or not?

Back to the relationship. If you were married to this woman and you had couple of kids from her, would she be so quick to say goodbye, or would she put in her life and sole on the line to save the marriage? Would she show more commitment if the stakes were higher or would she give up on the relationship the way she's doing now? You told me that you truly love her yes? If the shoe was on the other foot, and she needed your help and support, would you put a timeline on how long it would take for her to change her ways? Yes you told me, everyone has their limits, and unfortunately some people's limits are just not up to scratch I'm afraid, hence so many relationships end up in divorce or each side walking away looking for a relationship that is perhaps easier for them to deal with. Your worst workouts in the gym are your best, did you ever stop to consider this fact? Read that again, your worst (not your best), but your worst workouts ever, are ultimately your best ever. The reason? It's these workouts and only these workouts that actually have something to offer you in the way of bettering your future workouts. Reflect upon that for a sec. Easy workouts have never made somebody out of anybody!

The last two evenings, she and I have just sat on the couch and talked in depth. She said she still loves me and really hopes that I can change for the better (see above). She came home last night in farily good spirits (despite being locked out for two hours until I got home) and said she spoke with the psychologist earlier in the day. The psych said that she believed the relationship could be saved. She also said that we had 1. moved in together too quickly. 2. got engaged too soon; and 3. should not have moved into her place but a new place / somewhere we both owned or rented together. I then told her that I think waiting until August to talk/see each other was a bad idea as the spark may have gone by then. I said I wanted to give her a call in a couple weeks and maybe catch up for a quick coffee and just chat about how things are going. I'm not going to smother her, but I do want to see her once every 2-3 weeks. If I feel like it's pushing her away then I'll back off, but last night gave me a little hope that maybe there is future for her and I. I move out tonight.
It takes two to tango. You can blame yourself all you like, but the other side of that coin is where you find her. Would you not want someone who is more patient and understanding? Some women are more patient and understanding. I'm still waiting for you to tell us about your major crimes against this lady. Crimes like being drunk and abusive towards her; crimes like cheating on her, crimes like beating her, crimes like disrespecting her, crimes like depending on her for money, crimes , real crimes! So far, all you've giving me is, well Fadi, I complain a lot because I've got this stupid personality that sees glasses as being half empty all the time. I seem to drain people's energy I "cry" so much about my problems and focus on nothing but the bad. That's it?! That's your crime? Man (!), if that's what's been dragging your partner down, and after couple of years of trying to help you see the light she's finally willing to give up, then to that I say great; goodbye!

No, I'm not absolving you and making you a saint and turning your partner into some devil of a woman. My whole point above was made simply to make you realise that it takes two to work through the most difficult of times, for any fool can glide through an easy going relationship. I would want my woman to be not just strong, but extremely strong in everyway imaginable if she truly loves me the way she says she does. This works both ways.
 
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Get with her and make her pregnant! Then she wont want to leave you!

okay, a joke in poor taste. But I don't know how to advice you without crying. So I make a really offensive joke. hope this helps
 
You have no idea how true this is for some people.
Most people

yeah people can change for a month or two even a few years
but eventually people always revert back to there old ways

thats you should never change for no one
be your self
and you will live a happy life
 
Some people are afraid of change itself, as it makes them feel less secure. Yet those very people may feel so insecure within themselves that a change is a terrifying prospect.

For me, I don't mind change and am willing to change if that change takes me to a better level, usually the level that you're on. By "you" here, I mean the person of whom possesses the quality I aspire to. In that (type of change), I find no harm or loss..., on the contrary, it's a win and a gain.

I'm all for flexibility over rigidity in thought and action, as I find that's where personal growth likes to live.
 
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