Gimli
Beating the meat
We all struggle in this world, many struggle in ways we could never understand but regardless of the severity one mans struggle is still a mountain for him to climb.
I was 28 when I stepped up to the foot of my own mountain and from there on the climb has been arduous. Drink and drugs fed by a very low self esteem kept me in a blanket of constant self doubt and depression I was on a fast moving highway to complete self destruction and I wasn't slowing down, not even several death defying hospital trips could pull me from my stupor. In fact it wasn't untill a large police dog latched its crushing jaws around my calve that I sobered up to the reality that if I dont do something the little family I say I love so much will soon be lost, I will end up alone and without the ones I care more about most..
I never gave much thought to weightlifting, I did it for a year or two when I was a very young teen but it didn't seem to stick. However as part of the changes I decided to make with my lifestyle I thought weight training might help me regain some sense of health and well being. I couldn't afford gym membership at my local gym so I made weights using gravel put into old paint buckets, I hit those things every day, it makes me laugh now when I think back but I had been bitten by a bug and it didn't look as though anything was slowing me down. I still struggled very much with addiction in fact its a struggle I still have to this day, its not something that ever leaves you, it wasn't until my mid to late 30's I finally began to make some ground with it, but still everyday brings a challenge in that regard and I know you will believe me when I say that drink and drugs are not the only addictions a man can struggle with.
I started late I know this now, I didn't think of it at all when I first started lifting but at the age I was throwing around buckets of gravel many guys where competing in meets ten years in to an already successful lifting career, this was a realization that hit as soon as I seriously began to crave lifting heavier weights. I was being asked by guys at my gym if I was training for a competition. They seemed impressed by the weight I was using and how hard I trained up to 3 or 4 hours a day relentless. I decided to look in to what it may take to do so and found that many guys my age had already achieved 20 plus years of competition and most at my age seemed to be winding down. This was off putting to say the least and trying to wrap my head around this desire to succeed in the sport became a battle of wills with in myself, one that still rages today.
When I was 32 I met Jesus at the brink of self destruction, its an amazing story how it all came together but since that day my life had changed forever. But I think its my faith in Christ that helps me to have faith in myself. He thinks Im worth it even if I dont and because of that I am willing to push on regardless of weather or not I fail. I have failed at so much in my life that I almost expect it no matter what but the difference this time is that I am at least willing to fight, at least try and not simply fade away with a whimper.
So here I am today, just a guy with an impossible dream, honestly I don't know if I will ever stand before an a small crowd and lift for them, but im not prepare to give up, its the fuel now that drives me everyday to walk back in to that gym and grind it out. Its between me and myself and Im sick and tired of the old me dragging me down.
I need to stay motivated, Im still very much doing this on my own, this way as I post up my videos and review my progress especially when times become tough I can see that the grind is paying off and others who are interested can follow my progress maybe share a little encouragement. I have the support of my family and friends and for this I am forever grateful.
If you are reading this I thank you too for taking the time to hear my story and I pray every success in your own journey.
Thank you Gimli
I was 28 when I stepped up to the foot of my own mountain and from there on the climb has been arduous. Drink and drugs fed by a very low self esteem kept me in a blanket of constant self doubt and depression I was on a fast moving highway to complete self destruction and I wasn't slowing down, not even several death defying hospital trips could pull me from my stupor. In fact it wasn't untill a large police dog latched its crushing jaws around my calve that I sobered up to the reality that if I dont do something the little family I say I love so much will soon be lost, I will end up alone and without the ones I care more about most..
I never gave much thought to weightlifting, I did it for a year or two when I was a very young teen but it didn't seem to stick. However as part of the changes I decided to make with my lifestyle I thought weight training might help me regain some sense of health and well being. I couldn't afford gym membership at my local gym so I made weights using gravel put into old paint buckets, I hit those things every day, it makes me laugh now when I think back but I had been bitten by a bug and it didn't look as though anything was slowing me down. I still struggled very much with addiction in fact its a struggle I still have to this day, its not something that ever leaves you, it wasn't until my mid to late 30's I finally began to make some ground with it, but still everyday brings a challenge in that regard and I know you will believe me when I say that drink and drugs are not the only addictions a man can struggle with.
I started late I know this now, I didn't think of it at all when I first started lifting but at the age I was throwing around buckets of gravel many guys where competing in meets ten years in to an already successful lifting career, this was a realization that hit as soon as I seriously began to crave lifting heavier weights. I was being asked by guys at my gym if I was training for a competition. They seemed impressed by the weight I was using and how hard I trained up to 3 or 4 hours a day relentless. I decided to look in to what it may take to do so and found that many guys my age had already achieved 20 plus years of competition and most at my age seemed to be winding down. This was off putting to say the least and trying to wrap my head around this desire to succeed in the sport became a battle of wills with in myself, one that still rages today.
When I was 32 I met Jesus at the brink of self destruction, its an amazing story how it all came together but since that day my life had changed forever. But I think its my faith in Christ that helps me to have faith in myself. He thinks Im worth it even if I dont and because of that I am willing to push on regardless of weather or not I fail. I have failed at so much in my life that I almost expect it no matter what but the difference this time is that I am at least willing to fight, at least try and not simply fade away with a whimper.
So here I am today, just a guy with an impossible dream, honestly I don't know if I will ever stand before an a small crowd and lift for them, but im not prepare to give up, its the fuel now that drives me everyday to walk back in to that gym and grind it out. Its between me and myself and Im sick and tired of the old me dragging me down.
I need to stay motivated, Im still very much doing this on my own, this way as I post up my videos and review my progress especially when times become tough I can see that the grind is paying off and others who are interested can follow my progress maybe share a little encouragement. I have the support of my family and friends and for this I am forever grateful.
If you are reading this I thank you too for taking the time to hear my story and I pray every success in your own journey.
Thank you Gimli
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