This might work
Revolutionary diet discovered!
01/19/11 Remember you heard it hear first. We have discovered a revolutionary and breakthrough diet guaranteed to make you lose weight. That right guaranteed. If you don’t lose weight we will guarantee you money back in full. Of course this diet doesn’t cost any money. As a matter of fact if you follow this plan you will increase your expendable income. Yeah that’s right –increase your expendable income. Now who doesn’t want to lose weight and earn more money?
I am telling you people this diet fits the bill. It’s tactical, warrior like, functional and whatever other adjectives are all the rage these days. Hollywood stars have been following this diet for years to lose weight for big roles. This diet doesn’t even require that you exercise-at least not much.
Oh geez I almost forgot. Cavemen surely followed this sort of diet. Maybe they didn’t make a conscious effort to eat like this but they ate this way anyway. I don’t know about you but I aspire to emulate the lifestyle of the caveman. I mean who doesn’t?
I have been following this diet myself for a month and I’m amazed that I am steadily losing weight and feel great. I didn’t have to buy any books, DVDs, attend any seminars, buy any supplements or special foods. I don’t have to weigh or measure anything. There are no douchebag testimonials to endure. Who wants to hear some fat fuck talk about how he lost and gained 50 pounds for the 8 millionth time? There are no magic formulas or moral platitudes associated with any foods.
Are you ready for it? Here it is. Eat less. That’s right eat less. Wow! Who knew that eating less could aid weight loss? I myself was shocked by this revelation. I thought for sure that key to weight loss was consuming 8,000 calories a day in meat. I mean really-who loses weight by eating less these days? All the experts say that you should gorge on meat in order to lose weight so you could imagine my surprise when the weight came off quickly by simply eating less.
How did I do it? Man was it complicated. Let’s say I was eating pizza. Yeah I know that cavemen didn’t eat pizza but if they had pizza back in those days they would have eaten it and enjoyed it. So let’s say I normally eat 4 slices and a soda. OK pay attention here because this is where it gets really complicated. Instead of 4 slices now I eat 2 slices and maybe drink water instead of soda. Presto! I have just cut my calories in half. It’s really as simple as that. Eat less, lose more and feel better.
Joe Walsh is maverick renegade.