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  Click here to go to the first staff post in this thread.   Thread: Different sexual appetites

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    Default Different sexual appetites

    Is this as large an issue as I think it is?

    I'm not currently in a relationship, but having been in one (long term) with someone whose libido was effectively 1/10 I think it had a pretty big effect.

    There were a lot of other issues with that particular relationship though, so I have no experience of a great relationship with not necessarily no or little sex, but not as much as one person wants in an ideal sense.

    Is it simply something you can work on (find out what gets your other half revved up)?

    Is it about getting to know your hand a lot better whenever you are the only one interested?

    There are, I'm sure, many people more experienced with the womenfolk than I. I don't know how I'd react to a fantastic girl who 'couldn't keep up' - beyond talking to them I wouldn't know how to handle it.





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    moons,

    It is a real issue. Good friends of ours are now separated due to the huge difference in sexual appetite. The woman wanted sex all day every day and the guy just didn't want it that much. I know you're used to thinking about it the other way around, but these guys are a case in point that its not always the bloke wanting more.

    Shame as they're really nice people but I think its unreconcilable.

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    You should tell the girl to give you sex, I'm sure you are doing stuff for that girl that you don't like so the least she can do is give you something you like.

    My bf wants it all the time and I guess if you really like the person you are willing to do something to make them happy. Anyway if your not interested you usually like it when you start anyway


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    meh in this position at the moment , gf full of excuses , too tired , things to do , headache etc etc , really does get you thinking that something else must be wrong in the relationship
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    ^^

    Sometimes it can be just that though..

    Some times we just dont feel like it. Men included.
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    I have had way too much experience with this then anyone else my age.
    I was with this girls for 4 years and we were engaged.
    the first 2 years where unbelievable she was everything i ever wanted she was my fantasy and i treated her like a princess.

    She went through as very traumatic experience that i supported her for the last 2 years of our relationship.
    But during the last 2 years she became very distant and abusive emotionally and mentally. It gets to a point where your laying awake in your bed thinking do i want this for the rest of mylife, if i went through a similar traumatic experience would i act like this? have i done everything i can do to support my partner? have i tried every avenue of communicating with her?

    When you start answering yes to all these you sometimes need to make a tough decission.


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    My friends talk about this, girls of course. When we generally don't want it either because of the following. Well in the case of my friends

    - no sexual chemistry there anymore
    - not attracted to them sexually anymore
    - boring, seen as a chore
    - hurts

    Most the time my friends are like when we have sex I'm just thinking hurry up and blow


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    Quote Originally Posted by gtrb26dett View Post
    You should tell the girl to give you sex, I'm sure you are doing stuff for that girl that you don't like so the least she can do is give you something you like.
    Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind... She as good as suggested it. Mentioned how she asked her husband if he'd allow an open relationship which he wouldn't, so they're seperated now. The fact that she considers open relationships OK and mentioned this to me is pretty simple to translate.

    But my wife and I are still really close and it would be a betrayal, so I can't. Even though my missus is also not into sex as much as she used to be. She complains I don't do enough romantic stuff any more and we both work and have a 5-year old so are pretty flat out. She has always complained I am too big, but that never caused a problem in the early years. The more you do it, the less of an issue that becomes...

    And that is not some vain boast, guys who are well endowed will know what I'm talking about. It actually limits the amount of sex you get as your partner doesn't enjoy it as much as they would if you were the "right" size, like "normal" men.

    Cheers,
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    I hear you mate, but it also does depend on the size of your partner.

    Example my x was 6ft size 8 she could do alot more in the sack then this other girl i saw who was size 6, 5'6.

    Same problem in the end, girls always say they like it big, they really dont


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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeW View Post
    Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind... She as good as suggested it. Mentioned how she asked her husband if he'd allow an open relationship which he wouldn't, so they're seperated now. The fact that she considers open relationships OK and mentioned this to me is pretty simple to translate.

    But my wife and I are still really close and it would be a betrayal, so I can't. Even though my missus is also not into sex as much as she used to be. She complains I don't do enough romantic stuff any more and we both work and have a 5-year old so are pretty flat out. She has always complained I am too big, but that never caused a problem in the early years. The more you do it, the less of an issue that becomes...

    And that is not some vain boast, guys who are well endowed will know what I'm talking about. It actually limits the amount of sex you get as your partner doesn't enjoy it as much as they would if you were the "right" size, like "normal" men.

    Cheers,
    Mike
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