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Anyone dealing with depression of anxiety?

Very strong history of mental illness in my family. 11 yrs ago I was diagnosed with Reactive depression and generalized anxiety. 11 yrs later I'm still on zoloft as I develop ssri discontinuation syndrome when I taper down, and persistent adverse neurological effect syndrome when I go off them entirely. looking back over my childhood, maladaptive thinking patterns and responses were a feature. My parents divorce and the murder of a friend triggered a more pronounced state.

Zoloft makes me the most efficient, capable and focused version of myself. Its a simple question of chemical supply and demand. However I do think it has contributed to weight gain and slow weight loss.
 
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