J
joshc
Guest
Oh boy fellas. Where do I start.
I was posting in here a while back under jmc123.
Long story short. I met the love of my life (or so I thought) back in August 2014. We dated seriously for several months before getting engaged in December that same year. It just felt right. I knew I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
She insisted that I move in with her. I had just bought my own place so I ended up renting that out.
We hardly ever fought. She and I just had a great connection.
Unfortunately, however, I started a new job in emergency services last year and the five month training was brutal. I was stressed and anxious most of the time. She noticed this and just reasoned to herself that I was just being this way because it was actually stressful and it would come to an end when I started the job for real. It didnt. She quickly worked out that I was anxiety ridden, stressed and generally on a 'downer' most of the time.
When I came home from work in September/October 2015 she told me that she didnt think it was going to work between us because she and I are too different. She is a glass half full and, for the most part, I am a glass half empty. We managed to talk it through and stayed together.
Then I injured my shoulder at work and instead of obsessing about my back, I started talking incessantly about my shoulder. This pretty much confirmed my general state of mind for her and she became anxious and dubious about the relationship again. We went to Vietnam on a holiday in December and ended up having the same conversation about the same thing.
When we returned to Melbourne we saw a relationship counsellor twice. The first time was great but the second session just two weeks later wasnt. I had to go back to work after about 40 minutes into the session. I messaged her after that and she said she was leaving work early to go home.
When I got home she said she was breaking up with me because it was the only way I would ever learn.
It may seem sudden but in reality this has been an issue for months. I just didnt fix it.
I realise that a break is probably for the best so I can work on myself and my own issues. I've explained all this to her and she understands that I finally 'get it'. I've asked whether or not there is a chance we could reconcile or just get together after a few months to see where things are at and she has generally been very uncommittal. Doesnt give away much at all. I know she still loves me because she is visibly upset. And she did say that maybe we can catch up on the day we met in 2014 (August 10) but I'm not pinning my hopes on this.
We've been talking a lot the last 24 hours. I'm still living there but sleeping in the second bedroom. I will be moving out tomorrow night. We are both heartbroken. There was so much good in this r'ship. Unfortunately, I neglected her. Zoned out a lot and complained about my various pains. I regret this so much because I feel like (for now) I've lost the love of my life. She means everything to me.
Would appreciate some input. I'll be moving out regardless but I just pray this isnt goodbye forever. I'm absolutely heartbroken. I need to change to be a more positive person for myself but I would be lying if I said I wasnt doing it to have her in my life. Last night when we were talking and laughing I thought to myself "this is absolutely insane. You dont find relationships like this every day. We are throwing it all away"
I was posting in here a while back under jmc123.
Long story short. I met the love of my life (or so I thought) back in August 2014. We dated seriously for several months before getting engaged in December that same year. It just felt right. I knew I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
She insisted that I move in with her. I had just bought my own place so I ended up renting that out.
We hardly ever fought. She and I just had a great connection.
Unfortunately, however, I started a new job in emergency services last year and the five month training was brutal. I was stressed and anxious most of the time. She noticed this and just reasoned to herself that I was just being this way because it was actually stressful and it would come to an end when I started the job for real. It didnt. She quickly worked out that I was anxiety ridden, stressed and generally on a 'downer' most of the time.
When I came home from work in September/October 2015 she told me that she didnt think it was going to work between us because she and I are too different. She is a glass half full and, for the most part, I am a glass half empty. We managed to talk it through and stayed together.
Then I injured my shoulder at work and instead of obsessing about my back, I started talking incessantly about my shoulder. This pretty much confirmed my general state of mind for her and she became anxious and dubious about the relationship again. We went to Vietnam on a holiday in December and ended up having the same conversation about the same thing.
When we returned to Melbourne we saw a relationship counsellor twice. The first time was great but the second session just two weeks later wasnt. I had to go back to work after about 40 minutes into the session. I messaged her after that and she said she was leaving work early to go home.
When I got home she said she was breaking up with me because it was the only way I would ever learn.
It may seem sudden but in reality this has been an issue for months. I just didnt fix it.
I realise that a break is probably for the best so I can work on myself and my own issues. I've explained all this to her and she understands that I finally 'get it'. I've asked whether or not there is a chance we could reconcile or just get together after a few months to see where things are at and she has generally been very uncommittal. Doesnt give away much at all. I know she still loves me because she is visibly upset. And she did say that maybe we can catch up on the day we met in 2014 (August 10) but I'm not pinning my hopes on this.
We've been talking a lot the last 24 hours. I'm still living there but sleeping in the second bedroom. I will be moving out tomorrow night. We are both heartbroken. There was so much good in this r'ship. Unfortunately, I neglected her. Zoned out a lot and complained about my various pains. I regret this so much because I feel like (for now) I've lost the love of my life. She means everything to me.
Would appreciate some input. I'll be moving out regardless but I just pray this isnt goodbye forever. I'm absolutely heartbroken. I need to change to be a more positive person for myself but I would be lying if I said I wasnt doing it to have her in my life. Last night when we were talking and laughing I thought to myself "this is absolutely insane. You dont find relationships like this every day. We are throwing it all away"
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