social skills q - how to cultivate People of Power? - Ausbb

BoyFromAus · 16-09-2009, 06:33 PM

I call upon the help of ausbb crew once more.

alright i don't have a problem with making new friends or going upto random women in clubs and starting a convo.

But I do have a problem or rather lack in social skills when it comes to creating conversation with people higher than me in the organizational hierarchy.. such as managers, CEOs and other forms of valuable contact.
I tend to shy away thinking that I might scew it up or create an impression that i'm an opportunist.

I'm in IT and there are places i wana get to in my career. I know the people who can put my career growth on steroids (haha.. was dying to use that line) but just don't know how to approach them and make them know who i am.

So in social situations such as work related parties, how would you approach the director or CEO of a company and basically get on his/her good side and advertise yourself?.. what would be your opening lines etc.

and other than that, when/how would you approach such people?

Any help is much appreciated.

Cheers,

**The Hulk** · 16-09-2009, 07:54 PM

I'm no expert and my opinion only.

I think knowlegde is the key, and also maybe having something in common to talk about whether business or hobbies.

But when it comes down to business and you want to impress, showing you have a great knowledge of the industry/business/company/etc, and have some bright ideas you might have on your mind, that may suprise them in a good way.

Having great knowlege on a subject equals power in my opinion, so you should not feel intimidated if you do have the knowledge/experience.

SubCom · 16-09-2009, 07:56 PM

how long have you been working for?

after 7 years i can say the best way to impress is by your actions. sounds like shit but it is not.

Try to work in or apply for positions with a centralised coordinating role. Or take up positions where you represent staff...OH and S for example.

Speak in meetings but make sure what you say makes sense and is not a waste of time. The worst thing for your career is to open your mouth and say nothing of consequence. there are so many people who do. By keeping your mouth shut you automatically move up a notch in other peoples eyes.

And smile. It similarly sounds like crap but smiling and saying hello to people as you pass them in the hallway leaves a lasting impression.

NPR · 17-09-2009, 11:25 AM

I'm with Hulk.

Do your research, know the person and talk to them about things that you have a mutual interest in.

19-09-2009, 12:50 PM

Read Dave the Barman in Men`s Health, this question comes up a lot and also another short column in the same mag about how to deal with certain people.

My advice,I`ve always been the quiet achiever with head down getting the job done.While that won`t get you noticed in the short term believe me it will in the long run.People talk and it will eventually get back to the right people.Be modest when you do get praised, "Oh thanks but I couldn`t have done it without the rest of the team".Bam!Modest and a team player.Arse kissers may rise quickly but they fall faster and harder.
As Subcom said,speak up in meetings but not too much.Quality over quantity,again the quiet achiever will be noticed here.And similarly at company parties etc. walk over to the boss,tip his glass,say your piece and off you go but keep close but not too close in case he wants to call you in to the conversation.
Before long it will be, "You know, that dude doesn`t say much but when he does it`s worth listening to".

One little piece of advice that you often wouldn`t think of is to dress just that little bit better than everyone else around you but just below the boss - no boss likes to be showed up.

apiewithhoboliftingaroma · 19-09-2009, 03:32 PM

Who wants to chat to some douche higher than you in the company?

Seriously don't want a convo with the ceo, md, or any of those unless I work with them.

Otherwise its forced and fake.

19-09-2009, 05:02 PM

apie there are people that are ambitious and want to move up whether its status in a gym or at work. Just natural.

BoyFromAus:
Rather than coming up and talking about yourself you need to know which questions to ask to get them talking. Be careful not to sound like a sycophant though, experienced executives know when they are being sucked up to. Know the crowd you're going to be socialising with, you obviously don't want to go to discuss your PC at a forum full of investment bankers rather you might try and understand the latest types of technologies in that particular industry so that you can carry the conversation and provide your view point. Executives love to talk about their achievements and like to meet people that are problem solvers, the good executives will also be interested in your view point on the direction of the company so you might want to understand the company's overall business strategy and the mission statement.

apiewithhoboliftingaroma · 19-09-2009, 05:56 PM

You missed the point mate.

I'm always pushing to move up and excel at my job.

I'm just not gonna bother with pointless conversions with someone I have no actual connection with besides making him or her more money.

If the ceos, md etc have something in common with me and we chat about that, fine. But I'm not going to go out of my way to suck up to them. Let my work do my talking for me.

19-09-2009, 06:10 PM

Apie maybe I did miss your point, but all I have to go on is what you wrote. I don't know if what I said implied that you need to kiss ass, literally though I did mention that smart people know when they are being kissed up to and advised against it. Some people do great work just as I'm sure you do, there are some that don't like the chances of being overlooked and build their networks to ensure that where there is an opportunity for advancement that those networks will ensure that your name gets support or atleast a mention.....remember in business its not what you know, its who you know that counts.

apiewithhoboliftingaroma · 19-09-2009, 06:16 PM

yeah I totally understand. I think I'm am coming at it from an unfair viewpoint. I'll leave it here.

16-09-2009, 06:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
BoyFromAus Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Posts: 809	social skills q - how to cultivate People of Power? I call upon the help of ausbb crew once more. alright i don't have a problem with making new friends or going upto random women in clubs and starting a convo. But I do have a problem or rather lack in social skills when it comes to creating conversation with people higher than me in the organizational hierarchy.. such as managers, CEOs and other forms of valuable contact. I tend to shy away thinking that I might scew it up or create an impression that i'm an opportunist. I'm in IT and there are places i wana get to in my career. I know the people who can put my career growth on steroids (haha.. was dying to use that line) but just don't know how to approach them and make them know who i am. So in social situations such as work related parties, how would you approach the director or CEO of a company and basically get on his/her good side and advertise yourself?.. what would be your opening lines etc. and other than that, when/how would you approach such people? Any help is much appreciated. Cheers, __________________ Reloaded

16-09-2009, 07:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
SubCom Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Gender: Posts: 110	how long have you been working for? after 7 years i can say the best way to impress is by your actions. sounds like shit but it is not. Try to work in or apply for positions with a centralised coordinating role. Or take up positions where you represent staff...OH and S for example. Speak in meetings but make sure what you say makes sense and is not a waste of time. The worst thing for your career is to open your mouth and say nothing of consequence. there are so many people who do. By keeping your mouth shut you automatically move up a notch in other peoples eyes. And smile. It similarly sounds like crap but smiling and saying hello to people as you pass them in the hallway leaves a lasting impression. __________________ www.nottheadelaidereview.wordpress.com

17-09-2009, 11:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
NPR Active Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Melbourne Gender: Posts: 1,134	I'm with Hulk. Do your research, know the person and talk to them about things that you have a mutual interest in. __________________ Bigger Faster Stronger

19-09-2009, 05:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
kingpin Guest Posts: n/a	apie there are people that are ambitious and want to move up whether its status in a gym or at work. Just natural. BoyFromAus: Rather than coming up and talking about yourself you need to know which questions to ask to get them talking. Be careful not to sound like a sycophant though, experienced executives know when they are being sucked up to. Know the crowd you're going to be socialising with, you obviously don't want to go to discuss your PC at a forum full of investment bankers rather you might try and understand the latest types of technologies in that particular industry so that you can carry the conversation and provide your view point. Executives love to talk about their achievements and like to meet people that are problem solvers, the good executives will also be interested in your view point on the direction of the company so you might want to understand the company's overall business strategy and the mission statement. Last edited by kingpin; 19-09-2009 at 05:04 PM.

19-09-2009, 06:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
kingpin Guest Posts: n/a	Apie maybe I did miss your point, but all I have to go on is what you wrote. I don't know if what I said implied that you need to kiss ass, literally though I did mention that smart people know when they are being kissed up to and advised against it. Some people do great work just as I'm sure you do, there are some that don't like the chances of being overlooked and build their networks to ensure that where there is an opportunity for advancement that those networks will ensure that your name gets support or atleast a mention.....remember in business its not what you know, its who you know that counts. Last edited by kingpin; 19-09-2009 at 06:13 PM.

16-09-2009, 07:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
The Hulk Active Member Site Advertiser Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Sydney Gender: Posts: 2,422	I'm no expert and my opinion only. I think knowlegde is the key, and also maybe having something in common to talk about whether business or hobbies. But when it comes down to business and you want to impress, showing you have a great knowledge of the industry/business/company/etc, and have some bright ideas you might have on your mind, that may suprise them in a good way. Having great knowlege on a subject equals power in my opinion, so you should not feel intimidated if you do have the knowledge/experience.

19-09-2009, 12:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
Zarkov Guest Posts: n/a	Read Dave the Barman in Men`s Health, this question comes up a lot and also another short column in the same mag about how to deal with certain people. My advice,I`ve always been the quiet achiever with head down getting the job done.While that won`t get you noticed in the short term believe me it will in the long run.People talk and it will eventually get back to the right people.Be modest when you do get praised, "Oh thanks but I couldn`t have done it without the rest of the team".Bam!Modest and a team player.Arse kissers may rise quickly but they fall faster and harder. As Subcom said,speak up in meetings but not too much.Quality over quantity,again the quiet achiever will be noticed here.And similarly at company parties etc. walk over to the boss,tip his glass,say your piece and off you go but keep close but not too close in case he wants to call you in to the conversation. Before long it will be, "You know, that dude doesn`t say much but when he does it`s worth listening to". One little piece of advice that you often wouldn`t think of is to dress just that little bit better than everyone else around you but just below the boss - no boss likes to be showed up.

19-09-2009, 03:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
apiewithhoboliftingaroma Elite Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Sydney Gender: Posts: 897	Who wants to chat to some douche higher than you in the company? Seriously don't want a convo with the ceo, md, or any of those unless I work with them. Otherwise its forced and fake.

19-09-2009, 05:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
apiewithhoboliftingaroma Elite Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Sydney Gender: Posts: 897	You missed the point mate. I'm always pushing to move up and excel at my job. I'm just not gonna bother with pointless conversions with someone I have no actual connection with besides making him or her more money. If the ceos, md etc have something in common with me and we chat about that, fine. But I'm not going to go out of my way to suck up to them. Let my work do my talking for me.

19-09-2009, 06:16 PM	#10 (permalink)
apiewithhoboliftingaroma Elite Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Sydney Gender: Posts: 897	yeah I totally understand. I think I'm am coming at it from an unfair viewpoint. I'll leave it here.