What starts fights.. - Ausbb

Admin · 04-07-2011, 01:13 AM

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift..
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************** **********************
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started....
************************************************** **********************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....
************************************************** **********************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started......
************************************************** *******************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first..
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....
************************************************** **********************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

================================================== ==================

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as
he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her , 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and
I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

================================================== =========

I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know
How sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...

================================================== ==========================

SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf '
Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed
her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Fadi · 05-07-2011, 01:22 AM

Quote:

What starts fights..

Thank you for that Graeme, that was funny. However on a serious note, I'd say what starts fights/arguments is inevitably an uncontrolled ego. Whenever "me me me" comes into the equation far and beyond considering what the other person may be saying/doing/crying out for, would serve as a fertile ground for a good recipe of an altercation.

Fadi.

tray_182002 · 05-07-2011, 09:53 PM

Ha Ha Har that is great

04-07-2011, 01:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
Admin Administrator. Graeme Join Date: Nov 2006 Gender: Training Exp:Just Started Muscle Goals:More Strength Posts: 4,866 Mentioned: 8 Post(s) Tagged: 1 Thread(s)	What starts fights.. One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... ************************************************ ****************** I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's when the fight started.... ********************************************** ****************** My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight started.... ********************************************** ****************** I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's when the fight started...... ********************************************** *************** I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's when the fight started..... ********************************************** ****************** My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... ================================================== ================== My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her , 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ================================================== ========= I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know How sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started... ================================================== ========================== SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf ' Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.' The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. __________________ Ausbb- Australian Body Building** serving all of your fitness,Body Building needs, conditioning, fat loss, training, supplements and so much more New to this forum? Follow these steps: 1) Register free as a member 2) Introduce Yourself 3) Ask questions, post some answers, learn more 4) Get back to the gym and build more muscle! 5) Create your own Training Diary One team: Ausbb Join Ausbb on facebook Make a Donation. Ausbb Sponsors Ausbb Member of the month - Vote now! Do you own or use a small Gym? Toss a tin in your trolley Message to all New comers and lurkers: Don't be Afraid to post even if some of the topics might be out of your league don't hide in the shadows jump into General Topic and get to know some of the girls and guys on the forum Ausbb is all you need ps it's Graeme - not Graham

05-07-2011, 09:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
tray_182002 Rookie Join Date: Jul 2010 Gender: Posts: 46 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Ha Ha Har that is great