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IT technical support (funny)

Fadi

Fadi

...
INSTALLING HUSBAND!!!


A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2...6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
Reply

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!
​
 
Haha :D

Along those lines, here is another one.

Q: Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking of going back to Girlfriend 5.0 but un-install does not work on this program.

A:
Re: Failed upgrade
This is a very common complaint about Wife 1.0 but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. WARNING DO NOT TRY TO: un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disasterious. Doing so may destroy your hard and/or floppy drive. Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system resources. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some install Girlfriend 6.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Please see the manual section titled Warnings - Alimony/Child Support.

Others have tried to run Mistress 2.0 in the background while Wife 1.0 is running. However, this strongly not recommended. Wife 1.0 will eventually detect Mistress 2.0 causing a system conflict and non-recoverable crash because of the inability to share an I/O port. Trying to uninstall Wife 1.0 at this point is also harmful as it will first delete MSMoney files before executing a self-uninstallation. Then Mistress 2.0 will refuse to run, claiming insufficient system resources.

Further with Wife 1.0 present, Mistress 2.0 will continually popup nag messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 2.0. Finally, please be aware the uninstall program for Mistress 2.0 is incomplete, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur.

The best course of action currently is to push the apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a stable program but is very high maintenance.

For improved operation of Wife 1.0 consider:
- The add-ons Visual Dress 2.0 and Diamond Necklace 3.0
- Frequent use of Communicator 5.0

However, should you still remain unsatisfied with the performance of Wife 1.0, please keep in mind some of the features planned for the upcoming release of Wife 2.0:

- A "Don't remind me again" button
- A Minimize button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources.
- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode giving the systems hardware probe feature greater use.
 
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