Break ups

Hi all, I'm not quite sure what I hope to get out of
posting my question on a public forum but here goes.

I've been with my current soon to be ex for 4 years now.

We got engaged after 9 or so months but never
had an official engagement. She was simply happy
to wear a ring with no intention to get married, which
always seemed odd to me.

Theast 12-18 months have been not so great. I've had some
issues with my lower back and I've not handled it well. Seems
my every thought has centered around this and it seems
she became more and more depressed with this as well as
her circumstances at work (she hates her job).

Don't know whether the chicken or the egg came first but we havent
Been intimate in over 12 months. She had no desire to go to counselling
and I suppose I just lost interest. My back is substantially better now
but I made the decision to end the relationship last week and we
are going through the process of splitting up now.

Even though its probably for the best,
there are still feelings there. When it all
goes to shit and you're breaking up its
hard not to reminisce about a time when
you were both happy.

Insuppose im just not coping so well. I believe
it will get better with time but for now it blows.

Happy for for those who have taken the time to
read this to share their thoughts and own experiences.

sucks to hear , times heals the broken heats , the best thing you can do is pick up yourself dust yourself off and move on , keep your mind occupied and try not to dwell too much on the past and don't start with the " what ifs" what if i did this what if i did that

Go and fuck the guts out of anything that moves. Short, tall, fat, ugly, black, White, Indian fuck em all. You'll soon ask yourself why you stayed as long as you did!

It's definitely not an easy thing to do but if things weren't great for nearly a quarter of the time you've been together, then it sounds like it's for the best.

Catch up with friends and family and do some things that you might not have been able to do recently - not saying go out and blow 10 g's on hookers and coke but when my last relationship ended after 7 or 8 years, I realised there was a lot of things I hadn't done for a long time because I'd been caught up in family life which usually takes priority.

Thanks guys. Great advice and I appreciate it.

brick, I'm still laughing at your post. I think I draw
the line at someone who is so fat they can't
find their genitals. Lol

Breaking up sucks but youll prolly find a better chick and wont know life any different after. Have a great time being a singleton again for a while!

Do what Brick advised.

Keep yourself busy
Do not contact her for a solid 4 weeks (no text, phone, email, fax or facebook etc)
Get on Plenty of Fish and shag everything within a 10k radius.
Hit the weights in the gym and get on the divorce diet, it works well

That sucks to hear mate, and I've been through a divorce too. It's shit.
Just don't look back, move on and yes, the others advice works...fucking lots of women and finding a new hobby helps!

Brick said:

Go and fuck the guts out of anything that moves. Short, tall, fat, ugly, black, White, Indian fuck em all. You'll soon ask yourself why you stayed as long as you did!

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jmc123 said:

Thanks guys. Great advice and I appreciate it.

brick, I'm still laughing at your post. I think I draw
the line at someone who is so fat they can't
find their genitals. Lol

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Don't knock it till you try it mate! It adds a bit of mystery to the whole process - 'am I penetrating her glory hole, or am I just caught in betwixt two folds?'

But seriously, it can be tough. Sounds like from her behaviours its definitely for the best though. Better now than when you have committed and had kids yeah?

I was with my ex for 14 years and still dwell on what a stoopid kunt I was, and it's only just getting better now (we split like 6 years ago)... but it does get better.

Doubt whether it will take you this long mate.

El Testicle said:

I was with my ex for 14 years and still dwell on what a stoopid kunt I was, and it's only just getting better now (we split like 6 years ago)... but it does get better.

Doubt whether it will take you this long mate.

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Yep I still catch myself going "what the fuck was I thinking!?!"

So, things got a bit tough so you just gave up. Ahem. Well. Um. I hope your training gets better dedication.

Download tinder on your phone and make sure you have some good photos, a full body pic helps heaps and dress well. Swipe yes to everything.

WoodyAllen said:

So, things got a bit tough so you just gave up. Ahem. Well. Um. I hope your training gets better dedication.

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Fair harsh, sometimes you just can't stop a train ploughing in to a wall, and may be better to both get off early rather than end up coming to a point of despising each other because of trying to ride it out

WoodyAllen said:

So, things got a bit tough so you just gave up. Ahem. Well. Um. I hope your training gets better dedication.

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Who gives a fuck about training in this situation. Lol. More to life than that.

Take Bricks advise. Mount anything that moves.

Woody - I think it's more than "things got a bit tough". She and I are very different and to be honest I have had reservations for a long time. There are certainly things about her that I like (some of these are the same things about her that annoy me too ironically - like her being a straight shooter) but I have tried to be intimate with her a number of times over the past 12-18
Months and she just wasn't interested and when we finally it seemed as though she could have cared less. I accept the fact and take responsible for being a whiny bitch during my 'back crises' (turns out there were no changes on my
MRI from 3 years ago and the whole pain issue could have been psychosomatic.... seriously) and this probably drove a wedge between is as she tried to cope with her job and keeping a clean house during this time. Anyway.... no point looking back. There are lessons to be learned for sure. We also have a 3 year old Staffy that i am going to miss terribly. The dog is her soulmate. She's often joked that she feels like she gave birth to him. Lol

jmc123 said:

but I have tried to be intimate with her a number of times over the past 12-18
Months and she just wasn't interested

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Was reading your post and got to this and stopped...

Friggin' alarm bells here buddy!

Srs.

A relationship is more than shagging, but a whole f'n year dude? ...

You cant see it now, but the gods have smiled on you my friend.

What are you still doing here? There's 12-18 months of boning to make up for, get tindering/zoosking/justhookuping or whatever ever the hell it is these days to get easy roots!

Just don't go pick up a ladyboy

Based on your post Testicle I'm starting to wonder if she's been entirely faithful the entire time we have been together, but particularly the last 18 months. I suppose there's no point asking now??

jmc123 said:

Based on your post Testicle I'm starting to wonder if she's been entirely faithful the entire time we have been together, but particularly the last 18 months. I suppose there's no point asking now??

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Didn't want to suggest this m8, but it would def. be crossing my mind in retrospect... As the others are saying - onwards and upwards now regardless.