Single Income Partnerships/Marriage

So my brother in-law last week told his wife of 17 years to get off the couch and get a job. She hasn't worked since thier eldest was born and it was always part of the deal that he will find the money, she raises the kids and runs the household till both children got to high school.
So....that day came last week. Her response "why should I bother now?".

Are we in a day and age where husbands are happy to support wives at home?
When should a partner seek a job?
Are you happy that your partner stays at home all day or are they out working?
How long is "long enough" to stay at home after children are born?

I think both partners should work. The cost of living in Perth (and probably most of Australia) is such that it requires 2 incomes. I guess if you earn double the average income then that facilitates one person not having to work. Even still, I think it's a good idea for the other person to work at least part time to reduce boredom and maintain human interaction.

As for kids, it really depends on what type of jobs you both have and what family/neighbors you have around to help watch them. Most babysitting centres here costs more than what a mother would earn at part time work so simply isn't worth it. If the jobs and support match up, they should return to work as soon as they're able to due to the above paragraph. But life never really works out that way, does it?

I would rather my wife stay at home and not work

I am happy if the wife stays at home and doesn't work provided, they do all the houseework, ironing, vacuuming, cooking, cleaning etc etc etc and food is on the table when I want it, I am haooy to do the outside stuff but if the missus wants to not work then that's the deal...

Darkoz said:

I would rather my wife stay at home and not work

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I agree, My wife works 4 days a week and studies and does the majority of shit around here.

But she would rather work.. otherwise she would get bored in 2 minutes flat, and go shopping all day.

but yes high school is a good time to start workin'

I bring in the cash money and wifey stays at home and I'm quite happy with that, for now. I prefer the peace of mind knowing that my 2 boys are getting the best possible care, rather than being carted off to some day care where god knows what goes on.

We have a near 10yo and a 2yo. Just about the time when we started talking about her returning to the work force, she got pregnant with the second child. So she's having an extended run at home. I know she prefers it at that way and she loves socializing with all her other lady friends before they all pick up their kids.....nice fuarrrrkin life while I'm stuck at work! But part of the deal is that she looks after near everything in the house. I do lawns and bins, and that's it. I'm not working all day and then coming home and doing the dishes and helping with the cooking. Fork that! I've given her a nice lifestyle, she has to do a little something for it.

When the younger child is old enough, I'd expect her to return to the workforce. At that point I'll go back to helping around the house like I did before we had kids and we both worked.

I have an uncle whose kids are mid 30s and out of the house and he works and his wife stays at home and watches soap operas and Dr Phil all day.

It shits me thinking about it, coz he's a good honest hard working guy, and they're stuck in one of the crappier areas of Sydney and could be living more comfortably if she had got off her ass at some point in the last 20 years and worked. I reckon she's done about 2 years of part-time work during that period.

She's always had him wrapped around her finger and she's orchestrated a cozy arrangement for herself I reckon. If you're doing ok, then it's prob fine to let your wife stay at home. But if you're struggling, not earning a particularly high income, living in a dodgy area, and your adult kids are out of the house, why the hell wouldn't you ask your wife to contribute and get a job?

Darkoz said:

I would rather my wife stay at home and not work

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I agree with this

Though we can't really afford that so Katie works part time..

But I'd like to come home to a slightly cleaner kitchen sometimes.. Lol

When we had the second child and both of us worked full time, we payed out over 30K in child care for one year.

Add to that the stress we had coming home from work and having to prepare dinner, bath kids, and do general stuff around the house while getting to bed late and up again early to do it all again, there was no time for gym or training and thats when I got fat...

No time with kids and family at all, all the time strangers bringing up your kids.

So she quit work as I had the bigger income, and life has been bliss, kids get cared for by mother, house is spotless, and I don't have to do anything around the house at all, dinner is on the table when when I get home from work, cloths are washed, lawns are done.

May be in a few years time she will go back to work, but I am not looking forward to having to do more stuff around the house. The thing is she does not sit around watching dr Phill and stuff, and the house is OCD clean and everything is done, so no complaints here.

If the house was a mess and she just sat around all day things would be different I guess.

My brother tried the same thing and his wife is lazy as, he gets home the house is a mess, no dinner cooked, no kids bathed, and she has been out socialising all day with friends, drinking coffee and spending money. He even cooks dinner when he gets home at night

I get home from work and hit the gym while the misses prepares dinner.

I think in this modern day with the price of everything both parties need to work, unless your on a nice fat pay packet, but even then it shits me, our kids go to a private school and we both have to work to be able to send them there, but heaps of the mums there do nothing but shop, drink coffee and piss the blokes cash into the wind on looking good, I always think for fuck sake, do something!

I think the problem is, the standard of living, not the cost of stuff.

people were poorer back in the day, everyone just accepted it as the norm. now everyone thinks normal is having 2 modern cars big shed and 1000000 toys and gadgets for the kids. brand new designer clothes. ect...


catch my drift..

we could easily live on my income, but no more luxuries..

Kids to look after and costs too much for child care yes but no fucking way is cooking and house work an excuse to stay home all fucking day.

I cook tea a lot of the time and I get up at 4-430 and finish work at 6-7 as well as play footy. Me and the missus do the house work on the weekend.

Once kids are at school no reason not to work unless you are a lazy shit.

Succinctly put Bazza

I'm a traditionalist here. Sometimes my travel arrangements and some ofthethings I have to do are a bit erratic so it is impossible to have a schedule where I would be able to routinely run the kids around and do domestic stuff.

Wife does not earn an income but that does not mean she doesn't work. Three kids, one with greater needs than the others and ailing grandparents with additional needs.

My mum worked 2 weeks of her life and my dad worked 6 days a week for 37 years.
My husband and I are on a comfortable income with no kids but if we did I'd be back at work as soon as that 1 year is over.
My siblings all work.
Not one female on my husbands side of the family works. They are all lazy bitches who sip coffee for a living and socialise with other mothers.

Isn't childcare subsidised?

CaT_SPeW said:

Isn't childcare subsidised?

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Yes, and they raised their prices accordingly. So they now get what people are willing to pay plus the government subsidy on top.

Ive heard of many examples where a mother would be financially better off staying home than paying childcare.

wingman said:

Yes, and they raised their prices accordingly. So they now get what people are willing to pay plus the government subsidy on top.

Ive heard of many examples where a mother would be financially better off staying home than paying childcare.

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We have our first child due in July and spent last weekend checking out childcare centers and the average price seems to be about $85-90 per day

Per day!?!

CaT_SPeW said:

We have our first child due in July and spent last weekend checking out childcare centers and the average price seems to be about $85-90 per day

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i.e. More than some mothers earn