Attention After Transformation

Ok so I have been pondering this question with friends for the last couple of weeks and thought I'd ask the forum if anyone has any stories, information or advice.

I have lost a grown man, actually probably a normal grown man carrying a fucking heavy backpack. When I was very fat, I never had trouble attracting male attention, although I always thought they were freakoids I hated the way I looked, so was surprised when anyone approached me.

Fast forward to today, I'm a size 14-ish now, curvaceous but not a fatty patty anymore I suppose. I still have some fat loss left to go, but I look relatively 'normal' these days, whatever that means. I'm fit, firecely independant and busy.

But what I've found are two things ;

When I was really overweight, the men who hit on me were....gentlemen, I guess? They talked, we laughed, it was decent conversation etc etc

Now...every man who hits on me really just wants to throw a leg over. There's no real finesse in this process and their desires are pretty blatant. They either come right out and say "I want to fuck you" or we have a 'date' and the last guy said "So when do I get to lay with you"?

WTF?

What is going on????

I was very fat, for many years...so this.....overtly sexual "I want to screw you" kinda behaviour leaves me reeling a bit.

Strangers who strike up conversation, men I 'date', men who wander over when I'm out with friends...I just don't get it?

I don't dress like a ho. I don't have my tits hanging out or short skirts on. In fact the last few times I have been hit on, I've had no makeup on and been in gym gear. What is this new phenomona??? Have I just been out of the game too long and this behaviour is now normal?

I understand when I'm out for a party or engagement party or whatever, hussied up and dressed for the occasion, but still the 'come on's' are incredibly bold and sexual, rather than someone just coming up and saying 'Hi I'm _____, how's your night going?"

Has anyone else gone through a transformation and experienced this or anything like this?

Input, advice or your own stories would be grand.

A few people have asked rapey why his second chin is bigger these days. Thats about it though.

A few have asked wingman when he's expecting.

I would suspect it would have somethign to do with the type of guys that are chubby chasers...

pistachio said:

I would suspect it would have somethign to do with the type of guys that are chubby chasers...

Click to expand...

Well actually, my lover of two years, who I met at almost my heaviest weight in 2008 was a total gym junkie, he was muscular and an absolute health freak, but he loved my big bazoonga's and always said I had a pretty face. We were together on and off for two years and then I put a stop to the 'friends with benefits' kinda situation we had going on. We're still friends, just no sex anymore. I saw him yesterday actually and he looked me up and down and said "Yeah, you look good, phenomonal actually, but I still loved the girl you were 4 years ago. Don't lose anymore weight"

So I guess he likes em kinda fat. Which is interesting considering how fit he is....

expand on this thought process for me Pete?

Are you saying that normal blokes ARE and always have been overtly sexual, they were just never the ones hitting on me when I was fat? lol

Bella said:

......
Are you saying that normal blokes ARE and always have been overtly sexual, they were just never the ones hitting on me when I was fat? lol

Click to expand...

Yep

And your friend with benefits was a feeder

Maybe you're hanging around a lesser class of male these days? ...

"They either come right out and say "I want to fuck you" or we have a 'date' and the last guy said "So when do I get to lay with you"?" ...

I can't imagine actually saying either of those things to a girl i was trying to pick up, those things just 'happen' at the right time....

Maybe you need to leave Queensland?

Darkoz said:

Yep

And your friend with benefits was a feeder

Click to expand...

lol

Maybe you're right. I dunno, his girlfriend now is a neat little package....so who knows...

The sex was exceptional at the time though lol

Moving on....

NightFallTech said:

Maybe you're hanging around a lesser class of male these days? ...

"They either come right out and say "I want to fuck you" or we have a 'date' and the last guy said "So when do I get to lay with you"?" ...

I can't imagine actually saying either of those things to a girl i was trying to pick up, those things just 'happen' at the right time....

Maybe you need to leave Queensland?

Click to expand...

I too, have suggested an interstate move lol

Yep, last guy I went on a date with actually said "So when do I get to lay with you"

I blinked once....opened my mouth, closed it again and frowned at him. I think I said something like "What...did you just say"??? And laughed.


Then said goodbye. lol

No guy likes fat chicks. If he does he's fucking 'broken'. You're primal instinct is to get the best/healthiest looking chick and bang her to have your kid. Nothing is healthy about a fat chick and generally the guys that are saying 'the fatter the better' dont really meant that it just gives the illusion of them being really confident and getting what they want (supposedly) but in reality a gorgeous/healthy chick wouldn't want a bar of him so he can only get the fatties with low self esteem.

^^^just rapeys way of thinking. Settle the fuck down if you dont agree, its an opinion, feel free to have yours'^^^

wingman said:

A few have asked wingman when he's expecting.

Click to expand...

Ahh, the joys of drinking milk... l had a milk belly for a while.

Bella said:

I ol

Click to expand...

Thought he asked how big your tits where then you left?....

Bella said:

Well actually, my lover of two years, who I met at almost my heaviest weight in 2008 was a total gym junkie, he was muscular and an absolute health freak, but he loved my big bazoonga's and always said I had a pretty face. We were together on and off for two years and then I put a stop to the 'friends with benefits' kinda situation we had going on. We're still friends, just no sex anymore. I saw him yesterday actually and he looked me up and down and said "Yeah, you look good, phenomonal actually, but I still loved the girl you were 4 years ago. Don't lose anymore weight"

So I guess he likes em kinda fat. Which is interesting considering how fit he is....

expand on this thought process for me Pete?

Are you saying that normal blokes ARE and always have been overtly sexual, they were just never the ones hitting on me when I was fat? lol

Click to expand...

A lot of chubby chasers are more attracted to the situation than the person. i.e. having the control, feeling more secure, more desirable, etc. To the extreme, you have feeders / feedees which is just fucked.

I've seen it many times, when a guy or girl is with someone who they consider 'out of their league' and then dump them for someone they perceive to be less desirable to others, therefore less competition, therefore they feel more secure.

These types of people generally lack security, and hence confidence and the ability to directly proposition someone.

Of course, there are always those guys out there that just find obese women attractive. I really don't get it.

Bella said:

I've had no makeup on and been in gym gear. What is this new phenomona??? Have I just been out of the game too long and this behaviour is now normal?

Click to expand...

I tell my missus all the time... She looks better without the make up... Actually most girls do...

Hmm interesting....

I don't find fat men attractive and I certainly didn't feel attractive as a fattie. That being said however, lets leave the chubby chasers and feeders out of it, because I think they're extreme and rare individuals.

My concern is the men I'm meeting NOW.

The men back then, when I was very big, were...fine. Respectful, intelligent, amusing, seemingly normal blokes.

Now it's just....I dunno. Weird? They're just so forward and I find it so disappointing...

nazzysmith said:

I tell my missus all the time... She looks better without the make up... Actually most girls do...

Click to expand...

Dont be stupid..... Most girls look better without cakes of makeup on their face but id say 1/50 look better with ZERO makeup... A little face crap and eyeliner does the trick though.

Rapey Vibe said:

No guy likes fat chicks. If he does he's fucking 'broken'. You're primal instinct is to get the best/healthiest looking chick and bang her to have your kid. Nothing is healthy about a fat chick and generally the guys that are saying 'the fatter the better' dont really meant that it just gives the illusion of them being really confident and getting what they want (supposedly) but in reality a gorgeous/healthy chick wouldn't want a bar of him so he can only get the fatties with low self esteem.

Click to expand...

I tend to agree with this mostly. There will always be some people who find different things attractive, but i think this holds true for a large proportion of them.

Bella said:

Hmm interesting....

I don't find fat men attractive and I certainly didn't feel attractive as a fattie. That being said however, lets leave the chubby chasers and feeders out of it, because I think they're extreme and rare individuals.

My concern is the men I'm meeting NOW.

The men back then, when I was very big, were...fine. Respectful, intelligent, amusing, seemingly normal blokes.

Now it's just....I dunno. Weird? They're just so forward and I find it so disappointing...

Click to expand...

You're reading too much into it Bella
The men previously did not see you as a sexual object due to being extremely overweight, sorry but true

Now after the weight loss men look at you sexually, it's a very strong urge, so now they talk and treat you differently.

You know... thinking back to my last 10 dates i've only ended up making out with 5 on the first date (another 2 on second date) and sleeping with 4...

Maybe i need to start asking directly for sex to improve my strike rate lol.

honestly though... you need to hang out around different guys!

Darkoz said:

You're reading too much into it Bella
The men previously did not see you as a sexual object due to being extremely overweight, sorry but true

Now after the weight loss men look at you sexually, it's a very strong urge, so now they talk and treat you differently.

Click to expand...

lol

Thanks Dad I do overthink most things, so this doesn't surprise me.

But so bold? How's a girl like me, meant to start or commence a relationship, when the first thing outta their mouth is "I want to fuck you" or they're trying to grab a boob?? lol

Not a good way to start

I have never experienced anything like this before in my life. And I haven't ALWAYS been a lard arse. There were many years there where I was a normal weight....but I guess I wasn't single either....interesting.

Bella said:

lol

Thanks Dad I do overthink most things, so this doesn't surprise me.

But so bold? How's a girl like me, meant to start or commence a relationship, when the first thing outta their mouth is "I want to fuck you" or they're trying to grab a boob?? lol

Not a good way to start

I have never experienced anything like this before in my life. And I haven't ALWAYS been a lard arse. There were many years there where I was a normal weight....but I guess I wasn't single either....interesting.

Click to expand...

Ask yourself, how do YOU talk with them?

Darkoz said:

Ask yourself, how do YOU talk with them?

Click to expand...

Normally? lol

It depends on the situation and who I'm with, but I'm nice to everyone, I don't speak sexually though, to any bloke, ever. I think this is why I find it so....surreal?

Like the guy who asked when he'd get to lay with me. We'd had a nice date, he was cute, he thought I was cute, he held my hand, we talked and laughed, he told me a few times he thought I had a beautiful, eyes, lips, face blah blah...we stopped under a street lamp along the river and he tried to kiss me, he got my neck instead, I said I had to get back.....and as soon as we were in front of my house - he came out with that pearler of a line.

I hadn't even kissed him, or allowed him to kiss me yet and he was asking when he gets to 'lay with me'??? mwahahaha

I guess it's a good thing that I can still be shocked.