It looks like my marriage is about to end. I've been with her for a bit over 7 years, and been married for a bit over 3. We have a 2 year old son and 4 month old daughter.
Over the past years I've fucked 5 different women for a total of 7 times.
First was a random while away on a business trip about 5 years ago.
Second was a woman I sort of knew who used to work for the same organisation as me on an ANZAC day while my wife was 8 months pregnant with our (convieved through IUI) son, 2 months before deploying to Afghanistan.
Third was a random about a week after getting back from Afghanistan, while on another 5 day business trip.
Fourth was a dirty fat minga who was on my course while in Adelaide for 2 months. Twice. Ugh.
Fifth was a bird I met on the most recent ANZAC day. This is where it got messy. I foolishly exchanged telephone numbers with the girl, and over the next two weeks while I was out bush we exchanged a lot of smutty text messages, phone calls, picture messages, etc. This, of course, got me thinking the grass was greener, and was the start of my downfall.
I've been occasionally fighting off depression since a few serious medical issues a few years back, and it's not that hard for me to get back into some pretty black moods.
It came to a bit of a head last saturday when I decided I was going out to meet her (the woman from ANZAC day), telling my wife I was going to a mates birthday. I hadn't spoken to my wife all day because I was in a shit mood and being a bitch basically. I'd just about packed my bags to leave earlier that afternoon already.
She went into a rage because I wasn't talking to her, put her foot through a wall twice (probably has a broken toe), and I ended up telling her that I cheated on her. She knew about the Adelaide minga, and I volunteered the most recent one. Obviously she was upset, but at the end of it, she wanted to work through it. She convinved me to not go out.
Shortly after she went to bed, so I went to the bar on base (15 minute walk). She called me there saying she was feeling ill and I needed to look after the kids. So I called a cab and went into town to where the other woman was going to be...
We ended up fucking again, and I didn't get home until 0330. On storming into the spare room at 0630, I blatantly lied when directly questioned, saying I didn't fuck her again (apparently the wife recognized the smell of her perfume on my jacket, the same as my suit from ANZAC day that she had dry cleaned for me).
Later that Sunday my wife asked if I had anything else to tell her, to which I responded "no".
Monday, I call the girl saying we wouldn't communicate anymore.
While driving after work my wife was relentlessly questioning me about details, and I gave up and told her everything... I spent monday night in emergency accomodation on base, and have spent the last two nights in live in accomodation.
I went home yesterday after work for 10 minutes to pick up more clothes (I'm riding my bike everywhere mind, we only have one car) but didn't really talk as I was nearly falling over and couldn't see straight I had such a sleep deprivation build up. I Had about 10 hours sleep last night so am feeling sort of normal again. I need to get to bed at a decent hour for the next week though.
Talking tonight makes me think we aren't going to get through this. I've told her I will fix it, make it better, etc, but she obviously can't believe a word I say now.
I am committed to doing just what the fuck I say I'm going to do, and not doing what I say I won't whichever way it works out. It's not very convincing to my wife of course.
She did go through my phone and made me delete my phone history to make sure I had gotten rid of the other womans details, which I actually think is a positive. If she wasn't even considering taking me back she wouldn't have bothered.
But now it makes me wonder if I have it in me to subject myself to the interogations, mistrust, and everything else that is going to come over the next few years. I felt anger when she went through my phone.
Oh, and my wife was the other woman while I was living with my ex-girlfriend.
Getting deeper, I think I don't respect her in this way because she loves me more and finds me more attractive than I do her.
But fuck, I'm probably just an arrogant ****.
Now, there isn't really any point to this, but two tips for young players.
1. Imbalance in a relationship isn't good. You'd better find her smokin'.
2. Never, Never, exchange phone numbers if you pick up a random while in a relationship. If the guilt doesn't get you, the "what ifs" or your missus will catch you out.
Over the past years I've fucked 5 different women for a total of 7 times.
First was a random while away on a business trip about 5 years ago.
Second was a woman I sort of knew who used to work for the same organisation as me on an ANZAC day while my wife was 8 months pregnant with our (convieved through IUI) son, 2 months before deploying to Afghanistan.
Third was a random about a week after getting back from Afghanistan, while on another 5 day business trip.
Fourth was a dirty fat minga who was on my course while in Adelaide for 2 months. Twice. Ugh.
Fifth was a bird I met on the most recent ANZAC day. This is where it got messy. I foolishly exchanged telephone numbers with the girl, and over the next two weeks while I was out bush we exchanged a lot of smutty text messages, phone calls, picture messages, etc. This, of course, got me thinking the grass was greener, and was the start of my downfall.
I've been occasionally fighting off depression since a few serious medical issues a few years back, and it's not that hard for me to get back into some pretty black moods.
It came to a bit of a head last saturday when I decided I was going out to meet her (the woman from ANZAC day), telling my wife I was going to a mates birthday. I hadn't spoken to my wife all day because I was in a shit mood and being a bitch basically. I'd just about packed my bags to leave earlier that afternoon already.
She went into a rage because I wasn't talking to her, put her foot through a wall twice (probably has a broken toe), and I ended up telling her that I cheated on her. She knew about the Adelaide minga, and I volunteered the most recent one. Obviously she was upset, but at the end of it, she wanted to work through it. She convinved me to not go out.
Shortly after she went to bed, so I went to the bar on base (15 minute walk). She called me there saying she was feeling ill and I needed to look after the kids. So I called a cab and went into town to where the other woman was going to be...
We ended up fucking again, and I didn't get home until 0330. On storming into the spare room at 0630, I blatantly lied when directly questioned, saying I didn't fuck her again (apparently the wife recognized the smell of her perfume on my jacket, the same as my suit from ANZAC day that she had dry cleaned for me).
Later that Sunday my wife asked if I had anything else to tell her, to which I responded "no".
Monday, I call the girl saying we wouldn't communicate anymore.
While driving after work my wife was relentlessly questioning me about details, and I gave up and told her everything... I spent monday night in emergency accomodation on base, and have spent the last two nights in live in accomodation.
I went home yesterday after work for 10 minutes to pick up more clothes (I'm riding my bike everywhere mind, we only have one car) but didn't really talk as I was nearly falling over and couldn't see straight I had such a sleep deprivation build up. I Had about 10 hours sleep last night so am feeling sort of normal again. I need to get to bed at a decent hour for the next week though.
Talking tonight makes me think we aren't going to get through this. I've told her I will fix it, make it better, etc, but she obviously can't believe a word I say now.
I am committed to doing just what the fuck I say I'm going to do, and not doing what I say I won't whichever way it works out. It's not very convincing to my wife of course.
She did go through my phone and made me delete my phone history to make sure I had gotten rid of the other womans details, which I actually think is a positive. If she wasn't even considering taking me back she wouldn't have bothered.
But now it makes me wonder if I have it in me to subject myself to the interogations, mistrust, and everything else that is going to come over the next few years. I felt anger when she went through my phone.
Oh, and my wife was the other woman while I was living with my ex-girlfriend.
Getting deeper, I think I don't respect her in this way because she loves me more and finds me more attractive than I do her.
But fuck, I'm probably just an arrogant ****.
Now, there isn't really any point to this, but two tips for young players.
1. Imbalance in a relationship isn't good. You'd better find her smokin'.
2. Never, Never, exchange phone numbers if you pick up a random while in a relationship. If the guilt doesn't get you, the "what ifs" or your missus will catch you out.
