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How to put it gently

T

Tall_Tim

New member
Hey everyone.

Ive been seeing this girl a few weeks now, but after learning a bit more about here and her habits (not drugs, but heavy drinker and lets money slip through her fingers like sand) I dont want to see her anymore.

Problem is, I may be 25, but Im old fashioned....I dont like to hurt/upset women. Im having a hard time trying to think of a way to explain to her I dont want to be in a reletionship with her without hurting her too much emotionally. I'm returning messages with short answers and making excuses not to see her for now, but it wont last forever and I'm trying to let her make the decision not to see me rather than the other way around.

I was hoping some of the female members here might have some advice in this situation as most of the guys who post in this section will have opinions and comments that while are often funny, are not necessarily useful.

Before anyone asks - No I did not f*ck, screw, slap, hammer or smash this chick. So please, nobody suggest that I should use the "root em and boot em" tactic.
 
Dude you've been seeing her a couple weeks, that is dating not a relationship.

Grow some balls and be honest with her. Being honest does not equal being a douche.

Edit: Do it in person, do it at her house so if she falls apart it isn't in public, don't be ambiguous and leave the door open for the hope of future romance.
 
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Be ridiculously honest I think...

Just tell her what you don't like about her etc. That way she will either be pissed at you or change her self for you (which you will then like her I'm guessing?)...

But then again I've never been in a relationship so what would I know lol...

But would you "smash" her lol?
 
moons said:
Dude you've been seeing her a couple weeks, that is dating not a relationship.

Grow some balls and be honest with her. Being honest does not equal being a douche.

Edit: Do it in person, do it at her house so if she falls apart it isn't in public, don't be ambiguous and leave the door open for the hope of future romance.
Click to expand...

I never said I was in a reletionship with her. I said I was seeing her and don't want to be in a reletionship while she want to continue.
Mind you Im in full agreement about saying something in person, no way would I tell someone something like that over the phone - thats dog as.

EDIT:

Daniel.308 said:
1/.Just tell her what you don't like about her etc. That way she will either be pissed at you or change her self for you (which you will then like her I'm guessing?)...

2/.But then again I've never been in a relationship so what would I know lol...

3/.But would you "smash" her lol?
Click to expand...

1/. Being honest about how I feel is not the hard part. Its being honest without hurting someone who is emotionally attached and quite timid and lacking in confidence is hard and makes me put off doing it. Besides that, do you think people really change? When in a reletionship you share everything - including bad habits. Would you want to pay a mortgage and have bills and such to pay with an alcho who spends money as fast as she earns it?

2/. Should you really be answering questions in this topic then?

3/. Hell yes
 
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If u havent smashed her and its only been a few weeks. Its still early dating. You dont owe her anything. Just talk to her face to face and let her KNOW why your breaking up.

When i started dating chicks back then i would set some ground rules beforehand

1. What type of relationship it would be (casual/friends with benefits/romantic)
2. We should be honest and open with each other about any issues that arise.
3. Any STDs that i should be worried about :D
 
Tall_Tim said:
I'm returning messages with short answers and making excuses not to see her for now,
Click to expand...


this is actually a player's tactic that can generate curiosity/attraction so stop doing it.

You need to grow a pair of testosterone factories and tell her how you feel
 
Why would you want a woman's opinion on this? They've never had to dump a woman before (unless they're lesbians).

Oh wait, maybe you should. You're acting like a woman here. You've only seen each other for a few weeks and haven't even slept together. Just tell her you don't see it working out and leave it at that. Her emotions are her responsibility, not yours. There's also no such thing as a pain-free break-up when you're the one getting dumped, so spare her the bullsh1t.
 
Honesty brother, they may not like it but people respect being told the truth rather than some bullshit.
 
Tell her you want kids, or tell her your gay.. or you like little boys.. or your a woman trapped in a mans body..
 
Tall_Tim said:
I'm returning messages with short answers and making excuses not to see her for now
Click to expand...
This. Indefinitely. That way when you're running dry you can always start her up again for a quick thirst quencher then put her back on the sub bench for a while.

Tall_Tim said:
I was hoping some of the female members here might have some advice in this situation as most of the guys who post in this section will have opinions and comments that while are often funny, are not necessarily useful.
Click to expand...
Any girl you ask for advice will think you're being a c**t so you can't win lol.

Tall_Tim said:
Before anyone asks - No I did not f*ck, screw, slap, hammer or smash this chick. So please, nobody suggest that I should use the "root em and boot em" tactic.
Click to expand...
Do not see the problem then? No such thing as a serious relationship if you haven't been intimate.......wait...unless you're the religious type then I retract my comment as they play by a whole different set of rules *tip toes out* :rolleyes:
 
Show her this picture of your ex and tell her she's back

wow-guys-prefer-hotties-to-fatties-545x355.jpg
 
Honestly, those short blunt messages will hurt her more than u telling her u don't want to further the friendship... Especially if she is not quite confident that would definately blow her confidence out of the water... Just go and see her and tell her that you aren't compatible and wish her the best of luck in the future...
 
Man the fuck up and tell her. Worse (likely) thing that happens she bursts into tears, calls you a bastard and you never see her again.
 
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