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gareer
New member
If your talking about when going out on the town for a night...then yeh sometimes it is hard to avoid. Some people are nutjobs and looking for a fight. That instinct we have when we're in uncomfortable situation is good, it keeps us alive. It's when it becomes irrational...So you may have to define what you mean when you say people scare you.
Drugs lots and lots of drugs 
But seriously I am uncomfortable around people until I get to know them and then I will interact a lot more. People as a whole scare me (read as the human race scares me) as they do stupid shit but am I frightened of every day interaction no even though I tend to avoid a lot of it compared to others it is just that too much contact gets me in a bad mood, I like my quiet time (as in this lunch break I am eating in the car reading instead of sitting in the lunch room chatting like everyone else).
I think you need to practice human contact more. Get out of the house and out from behind the desk at work and just sit around people, volunteer with the elderly (they love to talk and can be very lonely). Once you are more comfortable around people your fear should ease substantially.
Being alone is great but too much can lead to severe depression as we are social animals. Get out and about with friends. Anything will help, when you feel yourself getting scared just self talk yourself into doing it and it will get easier as you go on.
Posted via Mobile Device
But seriously I am uncomfortable around people until I get to know them and then I will interact a lot more. People as a whole scare me (read as the human race scares me) as they do stupid shit but am I frightened of every day interaction no even though I tend to avoid a lot of it compared to others it is just that too much contact gets me in a bad mood, I like my quiet time (as in this lunch break I am eating in the car reading instead of sitting in the lunch room chatting like everyone else).
I think you need to practice human contact more. Get out of the house and out from behind the desk at work and just sit around people, volunteer with the elderly (they love to talk and can be very lonely). Once you are more comfortable around people your fear should ease substantially.
Being alone is great but too much can lead to severe depression as we are social animals. Get out and about with friends. Anything will help, when you feel yourself getting scared just self talk yourself into doing it and it will get easier as you go on.
Posted via Mobile Device
i'm not a people person i will avoid people if i can help it , it's not that i am scared of people it's just that i can't stand them , i can't stand the small talk ,talking just for the hell of talking
which is kind of strange as working at a radio station involves talking on air talking for just the hell of talking but talking to yourself on a one sided conversation
i'm more on an introvert
which is kind of strange as working at a radio station involves talking on air talking for just the hell of talking but talking to yourself on a one sided conversation
i'm more on an introvert
You must really find out WHY people scare you. Is it because of bad experiences? I read one of your posts where you said 2 people tried to take your bike and beat you up or something.
Or is it because your too self conscious? As in you care too much about how people perceive/judge you? Most people are too busy judging themselves than caring about you.
Trust me, everyone has these experiences (well most people). Don't let it take over you. This is your life, do not let anyone or anything paralyze it with fear.
Or is it because your too self conscious? As in you care too much about how people perceive/judge you? Most people are too busy judging themselves than caring about you.
Trust me, everyone has these experiences (well most people). Don't let it take over you. This is your life, do not let anyone or anything paralyze it with fear.
DKD
Private Dancer
Kindred, your fear of people is connected with your sense of self-esteem. If you have low self-esteem you will think you're below others. There is no reason to think this way mate. You need to think about yourself in a positive light.
You may think so many others are better than you, but why? It's the simple things that marks the character of a person - friendliness, kindness, laughter, empathy, humility etc. You may be a shy person, I don't know, don't know you from a bar of soap, but I bet you have some of these characteristics, or other positive ones. You need to appreciate this side of yourself.
You may not be a stud, might not be able to squat 250kgs, might not earn $250k a year, have flashy things, large social group etc but not many people do. The reality is that there are HEAPS of people out there that have insecurities about themselves. Not everyone reveals them so obviously though.
Some of the people who you just take for granted are better than you might actually be asswipes, might bash or cheat on their missus, beat their kids etc. I remember there was a very senior executive I used to work with, I looked up to the guy, thought he was better than me. I found out later that his wife left him because he used to go and pork tranny prostitutes. It made me realise I shouldn't just assume people are better than me.
As you get older you will get more comfortable in your own skin and learn to accept and appreciate yourself, and think better of yourself. But you shouldn't wait for that to happen naturally. I'm betting you have a lot of inward analysis of your problems. Shift the focus of that analysis on to your positive features.
Also, I'm assuming you don't have a girlfriend, though I may be wrong. If you don't, try and find some activity/hobby/club that will increase the odds of you meeting a lady. This will help to make you happier, but you need to be happy within yourself first.
You may think so many others are better than you, but why? It's the simple things that marks the character of a person - friendliness, kindness, laughter, empathy, humility etc. You may be a shy person, I don't know, don't know you from a bar of soap, but I bet you have some of these characteristics, or other positive ones. You need to appreciate this side of yourself.
You may not be a stud, might not be able to squat 250kgs, might not earn $250k a year, have flashy things, large social group etc but not many people do. The reality is that there are HEAPS of people out there that have insecurities about themselves. Not everyone reveals them so obviously though.
Some of the people who you just take for granted are better than you might actually be asswipes, might bash or cheat on their missus, beat their kids etc. I remember there was a very senior executive I used to work with, I looked up to the guy, thought he was better than me. I found out later that his wife left him because he used to go and pork tranny prostitutes. It made me realise I shouldn't just assume people are better than me.
As you get older you will get more comfortable in your own skin and learn to accept and appreciate yourself, and think better of yourself. But you shouldn't wait for that to happen naturally. I'm betting you have a lot of inward analysis of your problems. Shift the focus of that analysis on to your positive features.
Also, I'm assuming you don't have a girlfriend, though I may be wrong. If you don't, try and find some activity/hobby/club that will increase the odds of you meeting a lady. This will help to make you happier, but you need to be happy within yourself first.
apiewithhoboliftingaroma
New member
Listen to frenzal rhomb and rancid:
I'm not a coward I have sense, when it comes to self defence. I'd rather fleethe scene than fight.
The feeling isn't fear, it's just telling you to move.
Posted via Mobile Device
I'm not a coward I have sense, when it comes to self defence. I'd rather fleethe scene than fight.
The feeling isn't fear, it's just telling you to move.
Posted via Mobile Device
TheGiftToLift
New member
How long have you felt this way Kindred? Was it bought on after a traumatic event, or have you always felt this way?
If your feelings are impacting significantly on your quality of life I would consider seeing a mental health practitioner. Unless your fear is rational (ie, people beat you up frequently), then I would consider taking self defence classes of some variety and keeping 000 punched into my mobile.
If your feelings are impacting significantly on your quality of life I would consider seeing a mental health practitioner. Unless your fear is rational (ie, people beat you up frequently), then I would consider taking self defence classes of some variety and keeping 000 punched into my mobile.
TheGiftToLift
New member
Are you a small guy?
Generally, anyone that wants to beat you up in a wealthy country like Australia obviously has issues to deal with. Such as inability to control themselves (anger or drug addiction), inability to adequately provide for themselves (in the case of theft), or inability to find fulfillment other than by physical dominance - in a world where intelligence gets you what you want (low self-esteem). i.e, losers.
Back to the point, you need to weigh up whether you would rather get hurt; which is temporary, or be paralysed with fear; which is permenant.
Generally, anyone that wants to beat you up in a wealthy country like Australia obviously has issues to deal with. Such as inability to control themselves (anger or drug addiction), inability to adequately provide for themselves (in the case of theft), or inability to find fulfillment other than by physical dominance - in a world where intelligence gets you what you want (low self-esteem). i.e, losers.
Back to the point, you need to weigh up whether you would rather get hurt; which is temporary, or be paralysed with fear; which is permenant.
Fadi
...
It takes courage to admit you're a coward, which in itself is a courageous act. Think about it for a moment...
Fadi.
Daniel.308
New member
Do you speak to anyone about your problems kindred?
I have looked through some of your posts and some of them are a little worrying....
Yes i agreee alot of mental experts are frauds. Not frauds in the sense that they dont have good intentitions just that they have missed the whole point of what caused the problem and they only focus on treating symptoms.
There is hope however.
-n00bs
I have looked through some of your posts and some of them are a little worrying....
Yes i agreee alot of mental experts are frauds. Not frauds in the sense that they dont have good intentitions just that they have missed the whole point of what caused the problem and they only focus on treating symptoms.
There is hope however.
-n00bs
Goosey
.
gareer
New member
To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if Fadi was Jesus or some other religions god.
Kindred the fact that you can recognise this is good, but don't put too much emphasis on it, otherwise you'll worry yourself to death.