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Difficulty with a 'friend'

Oli

Member
There's a girl in my law course who's socially inept (lets call her Emily). I'd say she's mildly autistic because she cant pick up neither verbal or non verbal queues and doesn't cope when attention isn't on her.

Most people in the course are jock types - party animals with no time for those who don't fit the mold. Because of this she latches onto my group, as a few of the girls have acted as a mother hen for her in the past and they won't run off when shes around. However, through constant and often hurtful lies, stalking my best friend and temper tantrums when conversation doesn't revolve around her nobody in the group actually likes her, but everyone seems to tolerate her except me.

Emily can't stand me because a while ago when I caught her 'friend' (another girl in the course) who she idolizes ditching her outside a nightclub I told the friend off. Emily took the friends side, and has since badgered me about 'what a horrible person' I am.

Things cumulated last night at a law party, when a group member had a spat with her boyfriend. My best friend and I talked about it later on, and as this conversation didnt involve her emily started attacking us that 'it was none of our business'. She said that I probably caused it because 'I'm always upsetting you, it's no wonder nobody likes you' and that I'm 'a sick person' before bringing up the incident with her friend again. This really cut into me, and when she talked over me as i tried to defend myself I became physically angry.

***

I've spoke to my friends since. They've agreed that she was out of line but aren't willing to push her off nor call her out (because they know it'll be pointless).

I'd say I hate her. I hate that she gets away with these things, that I get attacked when others in the course openly wont give her the time of day and that I'm beginning to like the fact that she's miserable and lonely, which is worrying in itself.

Can anyone give me some coping strategies with a little more depth than 'just ignore her'? if you have opinions or similar experiences feel free to share them.

thanks.
 
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Sounds like a severe case of sexual tension between you two, Just slip her the sausage already.
 
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Sounds like a severe case of sexual tension between you two, Just slip her the sausage already.
Hello, maybe she's not hungry.

Oli, I think the sensible approach is to tell her how you feel and why you did what you did. Leave the ball in her court ( ball not balls :) ).

Failing that, the ignore her approach is tried and trusted.

Good Luck mate.
 
its human nature that we are all not made the same, and she clearly has very different views to you mate, no one can possibly say her views or yours are correct. I know its a cliche thing to say "dont worry yourself about what she says, sticks and stones etc" but in all honesty thats what life is about? if we all went around arguing with people about things we dont feel are "right" then we would never get anywhere, sometimes a blind eye or some form of acceptance to the person is needed... if she tries to persuede your group to change their opinions on you, then it shows she feels threatened and is clearly a nutter... but in all honesty mate if they all feel similar about this person as you do, i dont think that will ever be an issue... u have to allow your life to flow like a river and move around objects in your path, dont fight the current like a dam. She will learn to act the same way or she wont last long in the grop because dams do not last forever, the might mother nature gets the best of everything in the end. (i hope this made some sort of sense...:))
 
Call her a **** (c u nxt tuesday) and get on with life.

If she attempts to start something ask why she is talking to you, you don't care for her opinion or have any interest in what comes out of her mouth. Then go back to what you were doing.

If she's talking to other people, don't antagonise. But there's no reason to cop shit from someone.

Be blunt but mature about it. She probably won't be able to take it like an adult and will chuck a sad, ignore this.
 
Can anyone give me some coping strategies with a little more depth than 'just ignore her'? if you have opinions or similar experiences feel free to share them.

Watch a kindergarten teacher deal with a little girl throwing a tantrum and you'll figure it out.

Don't take a little girl's dramatic storm in a C-cup seriously.

I do think that she has the hots for you btw.
 
I always thought f u c k i n g a girls mum up the ass was the best revenge, but that was years ago, things change, maybe you do it by text now
 
I really hate these sorts of situations, thus being a hermit is alot more fun.

You are lucky if you are the "alpha" of your group as you have more control over the situation...

But in saying this, you dont always know what is happening in someones life or what they have to deal with. So claling her a slut **** **** and telling her to piss off might not be the most responsible and ethicaly correct thing to do though it doesnt seem like you are inclined to do this anyway.

I would go for more suttle hints and just ignore the bitch, dont even tlak look at her if she wants to talk to you cold shoulder her. This will give you more control or power as she will be confused that you are not seeking her approval and woman hate this (sorry to be generalised). She will either seek winning back your attention through being a nice normal person. Or she will hate you and leave you alone, you win in both situations because you are not trying to **** her.

I know it can be hard and sometimes u just want to give it to the other person (not the sasuage) but in the long run it will be better this way.

What have you got to lose? Besides an annoying bitch?
 
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